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OK, first of all, length of updates is not the same as frequency of updates. You've shifted the goalposts there. But, even on that front, 3-4 years is plenty sufficient length of updates for most users (who tend to get a new phone every 2 years). So yeah, the iPhone is theoretically better here, but not in a way that actually makes a difference for most people.
Similarly, your point about CPU power is irrelevant for most people. I haven't had a phone where the CPU mattered in about 10 years or so. It is a solved problem these days. Phones don't do much - you dick around on the internet, and you watch some videos, and call/text people. You don't need much of a CPU to do that. So again, you're correct that iPhones are theoretically better, but you're incorrect that it actually makes a difference to most people.
Honestly, you're entitled to your preference for an iPhone if that's your thing. I would never use one but different strokes for different folks. But your arguments in favor of that position are not very good, and your initial description of Android devices ("expensive boat-anchor") is just an insane hyperbole that has no basis in reality. Use what you want, and stop dissing perfectly good devices with poor arguments.
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