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I'm pro abortion and I've never understood people who say this either. I think the best explanation is that people who say this are being disingenuous. I think it's more likely that they don't really view the fetus as morally equivalent to a baby but they know that's a tricky thing to convince someone of and it's hard to draw precise moral lines so they try to sidestep the argument, personally I view this as cowardly, dishonest and detestable. So although we're on different sides of the abortion debate we're on the same page about people who make this specific argument.
It's both a little trick that's selectively used in cases where they agree with the conclusion and something they actually believe in a vague sense - vaguely like "this is a woman, i am a man, i am privilege, i cannot disagree with her , because it's socially unacceptable and hurts oppressed person". It's usually not knowingly or intentionally disingenuous.
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I don't make that argument, but a more sympathetic rendering might be something like "Yes, abortion is killing an innocent baby and wrong, but I don’t think the government should investigate and prosecute abortions." Someone saying that would still have to make the argument about why the government should be able to investigate and prosecute some violent crimes and not others, but it's not insane to say either that establishing facts about an abortion are harder than other killings; that abortion investigations are more traumatic to the target than other types of investigations; or that pre-birth children have a lower moral worth than post-birth children (despite still having moral worth) such that the costs now outweigh the benefits.
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I find it difficult to take the Lovecraftian take on reproduction seriously when you compare modern, first-world procedures and outcomes to the universal norms just a few hundred years ago. Hundreds of generations of women went through far worse.
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Indeed, the horror that we might be forcing a woman to endure a terrible situation is awful, indeed. On the other hand, the horror that we're slaughtering innocent babies is awful, too. I don't think anti-abortion activists are "innocent to potential horrors", they're in fact very aware of a different horror.
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"I should be non-judgmental when it comes to the behavior of oppressed/vulnerable people"?
This is not a rationale that I endorse, but it seems plausible to explain that argument.
I'm skeptical of this because I rarely see anyone extend such charity to an actual baby killer (ie a mother who smothers her newborn). No matter how vulnerable of a situation she was in.
It might not be intentional deception though. Someone else made a point that the abortion debate is complicated enough that most people simply can't grok the nuances enough to even have a well thought out position.
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