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When shorn of the pejoratives, this sounds like women want:
And...yes...I don't doubt it. But these aren't qualities that men can pick up by being in male only spaces. These are marks of successful, intelligent, popular men. Either these women want a man ten years older than they are, or they want a top-tier man, in which case they'd better be top tier themselves.
(And this goes the other way too. There are loads of girls who can't talk to people, have incredibly vague life plans, and spend their lives looking at girly stuff on instagram that men find baffling and off-putting.)
In practice, most of these are 'virtuous circle' things. People with more career opportunities have more career direction, people with more social experience have better social antennae, people pick up hobbies from friends, people who are sought out by the opposite sex understand the opposite sex better. And everyone else, sooner or later, finds themselves outside the circle of lamplight eating chicken tenders or browsing tik-tok makeup videos in a messy apartment because they're not going to manifest 1-5 into being by sheer force of will and they know it. They no longer have access to the virtuous circles, and from where they are (tired from working 9 hours at a bad job, shy, or poor) the activation energy is higher than anyone can reasonably ask of them.
This state of affairs results not particularly from a lack of male-only spaces but from modern society being mostly opt-in. There are no longer mandatory social occasions like church, balls, or village meetings, there is no longer a madatory social group (extended family living nearby) and there is no longer mandatory (arranged) courtship. We could resurrect these things, and I think we should resurrect these things.
In particular, I think that we should implement mandatory balls or some other speed-dating method, held regularly. Young men and women would be required to attend these, and it would be made clear that their lives would be made very difficult as they approached 30 unless they married. I think a lot of the men you complain about would buck up their ideas pretty quickly if they were actually in regular contact with women who cared, and vice versa for the women.
TLDR: what you describe is not a failure of mentorship, or of moral fibre, but of good defaults and of easy opportunities.
EDIT: which isn’t to say that mentorship isn’t a good thing we should have more of. Only that I don’t think it’s the reason for our problems or the main thing we need to solve them.
I mean this is putting it a lot stronger than OP did. Its more a question of direction of travel than anything else - no-one's expecting Wildean wit or an appreciation of avant-garde jazz, but you know just pick up a book or go to a museum sometimes. Most people aren't that well read or informed so it really wouldn't take much to be comparably so.
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