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Wellness Wednesday for December 18, 2024

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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Yeah... I don't want to argue with you, since it seems like you've lived there a long time while I was only there a few months. But I was just recently there, and went to all the places you mentioned. Lots of great places to go drinking with the bros, but very few places were any good for meeting women. They seemed to be well aware of what a hot commodity they were, as any young woman could sit in a touristy bar and get swarmed with attention, or open up a dating app and get hundreds of likes, or walk down the street and get hit on/scouted for the adult industry. A lot of the local guys, also, seemed quite handsome and smooth, so there's a high level of competition. If you "open up a conversation" between groups like you described, then you better be fluent enough to keep up with their conversation, which is quite hard when they're drinking and joking around. Unless it's a bar/event specifically targeted at foreigners, but then those were all 90%+ men.

I feel like I heard a lot of stories from guys like you who went there in the 90s and 2000s and had an easy time dating back then. But it's not like that anymore... their aging population has a lot fewer young women, while their culture cachet has increased and America's has decreased so noone is going to be impressed by a random foreigner guy showing up and fumbling with a dictionary or a translation app. I'm sure it's still possible to meet people, either to hook up or start a long-term relationship, but it's not at all an easy game. And this is despite me being frequently complimented on both my appearance and personality.

I don't necessarily say it's easy. It requires a bit of effort, even good fortune, as well as timing, and yes, game. My incredulity is mainly directed at the "I'm willing to spend $50,000 in an evening." That blows my mind. And I suspect if this weren't hyperbole and he did spend, say, a tenth of that much, and did meet a woman and did have sex, he'd regret having gone to such financial lengths.

To put it another way: There's no reason it has to be that hard. (Pun accidental but I'm leaving it )

well yeah I agree that spending $50,000 in an evening is insane. I don't even think it would help. Like, unless you want to meet a working girl, a normal woman would also think spending that much on club service is insane.