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Can I ask what you mean by quoting really there? Because I'll tell you what I assume - you don't believe she's really sorry* and there actually isn't anything short of the clouds opening up and a ray of sunshine beaming "no dude she is totes for real" into your head that would change your mind. It is that thought pattern that is unchristian as I understand the faith. I didn't say you were expected to marry her, I said if you maintained the belief that she was a soiled bowl of cheerios you point blank refuse to date after getting to know her and embracing the concept of forgiveness you would be in the wrong.
One of the first steps in embracing the concept of forgiveness is accepting how much of a fuck up you are. It changes your worldview, as does getting to know someone, especially on a spiritual level. Still, only God can judge, if after all those deep and meaningfuls and tears and sleepless nights you still believed she wasn't really remorseful, it would be acceptable to refuse to date her. (But I would bet some people in your community would believe you didn't 'really' forgive her.)
Deciding up front that a woman is a roastie who could never truly accept Jesus because she's banged too many dudes you see, is a similar sin to banging a hundred dudes then saying sorry because then you have to be forgiven. You are trying to put one over on God. God doesn't expect you to get everything right, or even anything right, but he expects you to try and to think it through.
*For clarity, I don't think this Lily is genuinely remorseful, it sounds like she's getting ready to bang another thousand guys? She would have a very high bar to vault to convince me she was sincere. I would talk to her and give her a chance to change my mind though.
I mean there's a solid chance she's not really sorry, yes. This is how people work. Hopefully we both understand this? Seems like you do.
But the part where you've apparently randomly concluded that I've already decided she's lying and it would be nearly impossible to change my mind is kind of crazy. No idea where you're getting that.
Yes I understand how people work. That's why, when someone angrily implies I'm being a naive simp for suggesting forgiving this woman to the point that you can view her as another person deserving of love, reads an obligation to marry her in a post that explicitly says the opposite and adds a pre-arranged excuse to get him out of viewing her as marriage material, I assume he has already made up his mind.
Maybe you just meant to signal your strong disbelief currently and you would be happy to marry her if you got to know her and discovered she wasn't too psychologically scarred? I apologise if that is the case. Where would you get married? How many kids would you have together and what would you name the first one if it was a girl?
You know, rather than respond point by point I'll just let you know that I wasn't angry in the slightest, but it's also true that I'm not interested in the conversation any more.
Fine by me bud, but I'll just let you know you can easily prove me wrong by answering those questions I asked.
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