This weekly roundup thread is intended for all culture war posts. 'Culture war' is vaguely defined, but it basically means controversial issues that fall along set tribal lines. Arguments over culture war issues generate a lot of heat and little light, and few deeply entrenched people ever change their minds. This thread is for voicing opinions and analyzing the state of the discussion while trying to optimize for light over heat.
Optimistically, we think that engaging with people you disagree with is worth your time, and so is being nice! Pessimistically, there are many dynamics that can lead discussions on Culture War topics to become unproductive. There's a human tendency to divide along tribal lines, praising your ingroup and vilifying your outgroup - and if you think you find it easy to criticize your ingroup, then it may be that your outgroup is not who you think it is. Extremists with opposing positions can feed off each other, highlighting each other's worst points to justify their own angry rhetoric, which becomes in turn a new example of bad behavior for the other side to highlight.
We would like to avoid these negative dynamics. Accordingly, we ask that you do not use this thread for waging the Culture War. Examples of waging the Culture War:
-
Shaming.
-
Attempting to 'build consensus' or enforce ideological conformity.
-
Making sweeping generalizations to vilify a group you dislike.
-
Recruiting for a cause.
-
Posting links that could be summarized as 'Boo outgroup!' Basically, if your content is 'Can you believe what Those People did this week?' then you should either refrain from posting, or do some very patient work to contextualize and/or steel-man the relevant viewpoint.
In general, you should argue to understand, not to win. This thread is not territory to be claimed by one group or another; indeed, the aim is to have many different viewpoints represented here. Thus, we also ask that you follow some guidelines:
-
Speak plainly. Avoid sarcasm and mockery. When disagreeing with someone, state your objections explicitly.
-
Be as precise and charitable as you can. Don't paraphrase unflatteringly.
-
Don't imply that someone said something they did not say, even if you think it follows from what they said.
-
Write like everyone is reading and you want them to be included in the discussion.
On an ad hoc basis, the mods will try to compile a list of the best posts/comments from the previous week, posted in Quality Contribution threads and archived at /r/TheThread. You may nominate a comment for this list by clicking on 'report' at the bottom of the post and typing 'Actually a quality contribution' as the report reason.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
I can tell you almost exactly why you see the cycles of underperformance despite what the statistics say should happen. Turns out who your family is matters a lot. And if you come from a family of high time preference dirt bags, that will almost always set your default. You'll find yourself making weird, "out of character" high time preference decisions that add up to a serious drag on your potential. Every time you hit a rough patch in your career, your marriage, or your social life, if you make the mistake of opening up to your dirt bag family (and what son or daughter, when the chips are down, won't seek comfort in their father or mother), they'll give you terrible advice. To say nothing of all the family that will see you doing better than them, and constantly come around to leech off you.
I'd also caution you about entering a relationship with someone from that background. I'm sure they do seem like a lovely person. But I can nearly promise you, when the chips are down, you'll see that side of them you thought was different from the rest of their family. Things completely unthinkable to your upper middle class cultural sensibilities are the default option for them. That said, no relationship is without challenges, so you know, damned if you do and damned if you don't.
She doesnt like her family all that much, she constantly complains about them is actively looking to get away. I can certainly see your concern with a potentially darkside of her rearing its ugly head, but i also somewhat feel that this risk exits in dating anyone to begin with. You never truly know who someone is or how they may be until shit hits the fan. This type of faith is typical in relationships, and it in her until she shows me otherwise. My own parents came from a poorer country and pathed there way, if someone has the consistent work ethic regardless of class to do the same, there has to something special about them that would make them differ enough in my book, especially doing so when all the other cards are stacked against you.
More options
Context Copy link
I'm not picking on you in particular, but I see this all the time and genuinely wonder why people do this. The person in question is clearly identified as a "girl," and OP consistently refers to her with the appropriate female pronouns. Why the "they/them?"
To me it feels like people are losing the ability to keep track of a individual's sex in their heads when forming sentences. It's as if 'they' is becoming the universal pronoun for 'person' even when the person in question is explicitly female in the sentence.
Yeah, you see even older people refer to “their partner” rather than wife or husband, even though HR doesn’t care (at least for us) and they’re talking about themselves, not assuming the sex of somebody else’s spouse.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
I don't fucking know. When you point it out to me, even though I said it, I do wonder why the fuck I chose to say it like that instead of "She sounds like a lovely girl". I guess the language I hear around me has rubbed off on me.
Oh no! It's contāgious!
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link