The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
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I appreciate it quite a lot. I see dating and other things as thing I used to suck at but always thought that I would excel in, that it was inevitable and I just needed some time.
You are correct in your assessment, I never honestly did think about this in such a way. I do feel a tad lost given I need to get a job and do a bunch of stuff, it gets overwhelming and I end up not doing as much as I need.
How did it help you exactly and how long did it take you to not feel bad or fix your life?
It took about a year before it started being automatic, but once I got over that hump it became so much easier. Because once you get past that it becomes about motivation, and you strengthen your motivation significantly through the increases in confidence and resolve you gain in the process. It's not just an impossible slog for that year though, you should start seeing some of the benefits of doing it consciously in about a month - I thought I saw the benefits after two weeks, but I'll say a month because it is not easy distinguishing hopeful thinking from wishful thinking. I like your addiction analogy, the process is similar in a lot of ways - it feels miserable and is quite difficult to quit smoking at first, but it does get easier, and while you will still find yourself getting cravings/depressive thoughts even years later, you are much better equipped to manage them.
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