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Wellness Wednesday for November 6, 2024

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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Breaking up with someone who hates who you are seems net-positive for both parties to me. I had a friend who dated a girl who cried over a beer-pong game very early in the relationship. She was overly emotional was anxious all the time. To me all disqualifiers to long-term relationship material. But I think my friend thought she would improve, she was best he could get at the time, could fix her (who knows!). But they wasted each others' time dating for several fraught years, where I think they each wanted the other to be someone they weren't, or couldn't be. Now years after the break-up now are both doing much better by all appearances by being with other people much better suited to both of them.