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You sound like most extroverts I encounter. One of the most common aspects of extroverts is that they tend to not believe or accept that introverts exist.
Every introvert knows what they are and how they are different than extroverts. It takes them only the barest amount of observational skill.
There is a manifestation of physical discomfort in social situations. The closest comparison I can think of: imagine knowing that you stink from BO or poop, or your teeth are gross. Then further imagine you are stuck in close proximity to a person you are attracted to but barely know. I think most people's desire in this situation is an intense desire to leave and be unseen. You might even fear that other people are noticing or discussing your grossness. Nearby laughter can spike paranoia rather than joy.
That is what it can feel like when an introvert has overextended and stayed in a social situation past their leave time.
And when that is how nights tend to end even if you have fun for the first few hours it's not really something you look forward to. And eventually you either discover the magic of alcohol which I believe can switch people from introverts to extroverts, or you stop going to social events.
I know that that particular behavior (willingness to start conversations with very weakly connected people or total strangers) is very abnormal and most would consider it extroversion. However, most other people I know seem to be much further towards "extroversion" in other ways than I am, yet seem to me to be strangely unwilling to do that.
For example, most other people I know tend to have what I call more words than me. They seem to have much greater capability to extend conversations indefinitely, to just keep on talking and talking and talking. I was never very good at this. Usually any conversations I start tend to peter out fairly quickly unless the other person is actively interested in maintaining it and puts in effort towards that.
I also desire to spend substantial amounts of time basically quiet and alone, doing something like reading or watching movies and videos on the internet. Some other people I know seem to be much more active, constantly up and about doing things.
So then am I introverted or extroverted? How about all those other people I know with different combinations of traits? Beats me. That's why I find the whole thing not very useful, to the point of saying it basically doesn't exist, and might even be actively harmful in some cases. I think that what people normally think of as those traits are actually a cluster of dozens of personality characteristics that aren't necessarily related to each other at all, and several of them are closer to being skills that can be learned or moods and emotions that someone may feel more of or less of at any particular time for any number of reasons than fundamental traits that cannot be changed.
I cannot really know or claim to speak for what any particular person thinks and feels. But I do think that quite a few people who are self-proclaimed Introverts are actually just psyching themselves out. Perhaps when they were young, they did not yet know how to conduct themselves in social settings or had false beliefs about what other people were thinking of them. Perhaps they were convinced of an ideology that they were Introverts, that this was not a temporary feeling or mood or lack of a skill that can be learned, but instead made it part of their identity and chose to revel in it. What if it's not actually a fundamental unalterable trait? What if such a person decided to believe instead that they could learn how to socialize and how to at least sometimes get themselves into a mood to take pleasure from it? I say this not to condescend to you or any other particular person, but because it's exactly what I did myself.
Driving a car was initially pretty scary. But I learned to do it and got comfortable with it eventually. I certainly wasn't always any good at any sort of socialization. I'm far from perfect or any kind of expert at it even now, but I have managed to get somewhat better and more comfortable with it, at least sometimes.
You are extroverted, some people you know are more extroverted than you.
Those people you talk to that suck at maintaining conversations ... probably introverts.
I think your argument proves too much. It sounds like it could be used to disprove any internal assessments.
It certainly could! But Sharp Knives and all that.
I think it's trivially obvious that many people believe false things about themselves, some of which are helpful and some harmful. If I think a belief I have about myself may be preventing me from doing things that would be good for my life, I think it's worth spending some effort to test if that belief is really true or not. If it does turn out to be true, then I've suffered some minor discomfort or something for the sake of proving to myself that it actually is true. If it turns out not to be true, then it's like I've unlocked a new power or something.
The same with ideologies to follow and things to identify as. One of the things I like about the Rationalist sphere of thinking is it provides the tools and thought patterns to recognize when what I'm thinking about following is an ideology rather than a fact. Ideologies were mostly created to make whoever created them famous or to connect a group of people together, not for my objective benefit. I am perfectly free to decide that an ideology is not to my benefit and reject it.
Being introverted is one of the things I'd gladly change about myself. That and disliking Broccoli (would make low carb diet way easier).
I don't think most introverts are very happy with it. It seems like a maladaptive trait for the modern world.
I suspect it is closer to something like left-handedness than it is to something like an accent that you can discard with a bit of practice.
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