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Wellness Wednesday for September 18, 2024

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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I've never understood OLD. If the objective is dating a real person in real life ... go do that.

Can't speak for anyone else, but for me there were two draws.

  1. I simply stopped meeting people after college, except through work (and the tech business is 99% men so that wasn't much help).
  2. When I had tried to date people I met IRL, I ran into the problem where by the time I got to know someone enough to be attracted to her, she was perfectly content being friends. Ran into it every single time I would ask a girl out. With online dating, at least it sets the tone up front that one is trying to have a romantic relationship, not platonic.

And honestly, it worked well enough for me! I'm pretty sure I would never have met my wife if not for OLD. So I'm glad I gave it a go.

The last time I met someone new that I ended up going on a date with was eight years ago. In that time, I've gone out with at least 60 people I met online. The idea that I shouldn't do online dating is incomprehensible to me. I would love to meet people, but I just don't see how that's possible. It was extremely hard in university (I never went on a date in university) and it's only gotten dramatically harder since, especially since covid.