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Culture War Roundup for the week of September 2, 2024

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Nevertheless, we see him more rarely, and get less quality time with him, than we would if he didn’t have children.

my relationship with them has cratered, partially because the stress of the experience and the extreme impact on their lives made them so stressed-out and insular. It also rendered them somewhat unrelatable to me; what could I possibly talk about with them nowadays?

You under-estimate how lopsided this is from the other side. Sure your brother loves you and would like to spend more time with you, but the tragic loss of extended adolescence, and 'hanging out' with friends and family is a drop in the ocean of purpose and life direction for parents.

The problem I have with these kinds of observations, and those made by childless women is that parents have experienced both worlds, but the childless haven't seen the other side yet. This used to be solved with social obligation, because the other side is scary. But its a transformative way of being that's not fully modellable on the front side.

I have very good friends who do not have kids, who I very much enjoy seeing when I can. Of course the time I spend with them and the overall depth of our friendship had diminished. In a world without time scarcity, sure I'd love to see them more. But in this world, I'm sorry, it's a rounding error. The time I do go out of the way to see them is mostly for them. It's not for me.