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Notes -
I think another dimension of this is many people seem to have somehow, magically forgotten that it’s not only okay but ideal to treat kids differently based on their age. I had a very frustrating conversation recently about how or if we should be talking to kids about the “bad” parts of history, and it was kind of shocking to realize that they didn’t realize that for example a 5th grader is physiologically incapable of the same complexity of thought as a teenager or an adult. That echoes over to discipline where they also don’t realize that again, a child’s brain is both highly plastic as well as not yet mature in a deep and fundamental way. Being strict and firm are not the same things… and yes, shoving a phone in front of your kid and going “they entertain themselves, how great!” is terrible for development.
A social policy of segregation will do that. Age cohorts are relatively strictly segregated in modern society, and from 15-30 most women and nearly all men will have observed zero children in a casual context (teaching doesn't count); not a surprise they have to learn from scratch when they have them.
Add to that the fact that most parents who become parents are going to lack the required experience in having authority, and you get a populace who doesn't know how to exercise it, don't know when it needs to be exercised, or have no experience with authorities that aren't arbitrary/capricious. So they're going to try and get by without it, because that's how they interact with everyone they know; why would smaller human be any different?
Maybe, but (and partially because of the above) the ages at which it's ideal to treat kids in certain ways are blown so hilariously out of proportion that there exist people who take seriously the notion that anyone under 25 is physiologically incapable of any adult thought. (The people who most loudly agree with this notion are usually 26.) I've seen 14 year olds with bedtimes on vacation, and it was fucking absurd.
Parents reacting to parents who [over]do the above are most likely the ones to try and be 'gentle' parents, but miss the fact that if you're going to do that, you have to be capable (and if you actually are capable of doing it, your kid is more than likely capable of working with it- which is also something parenting advice always forgets to mention especially when it comes to "a child's brain"), and most aren't. Same thing with liberal proponents of casual sex who had a traditionalist upbringing- you actually have to have a high level of emotional detachment with sex, because if you're lying to yourself you're going to get hurt and would have been better off the traditionalist way.
Fifth-graders participate in the bad parts of history, and are made aware of that if they turn on a TV. Probably best if they know how to avoid participating (a 5 year old would have no choice and this would be a net negative, but thinking that a 10 year old should still believe this doesn't happen to them is also absurd).
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