The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
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I’ve recently done a self improvement thing that was so ridiculously effective it’s going to sound like I’m selling a self help course. I’m not. Over the course of 6 days I went from borderline depressed and listless to being full of will, oozing charisma, and generally vibing. On day 7 I picked up a chick I just met and broke a year and a half long dry spell. First time I did anything like that.
The process is simple. Write down every thing you do and how you’ve feeling with time stamps. Send that shit to a trusted but physically distant friend once per day. I would write down everything I ate, every time I worked, every time I fucked around on the web, when I went to bed, when I went outside etc. In addition to showing it to my friend, I would read over the previous entries every morning. When I would consider doing something not great for me, I would remember I had to tell my friend. If I did it anyway, I would be reflecting more on it because I would be writing it down.
The silver bullet this clued me in on was going for runs, then focusing really intently on how my own head and body feel afterwards. I’m not sure if this is some form of grounding/embodiment or gratitude meditation. Normally a run is like a +2 to my mental state, the focus afterwards boosts it to a +6.
I made a few other small but extremely impactful routine changes. I’m not sure whether to call it charisma, force of personality, vibe, or just plain power level, but something about me is more now. People seem more drawn to me and often go out of their way to do me favors or give me things. I’m working much harder and to a higher standard at my day job. When I’m just fucking around and enjoying myself, I enjoy it more.
So any advice as to how to further increase this power level? This sounds like it’s getting towards New Age territory, so if possibly I’d like to minimize the woo.
What does this mean in practice?
Thinking about how I'm feeling then narrating it. "There's a soft, fuzzy, buzzing sensation behind my eyeballs. It is pleasant. My lungs hurt a little from breathing hard. That is satisfying. The buzzing sensation has spread to around the top of my forehead. My head feels warm in a good way. I am pleased with myself feeling good through exercise. My thighs feel heavy but not very sore."
Make observations like above for ~10 minutes. Preferably while somewhere comfy. Additionally let yourself linger on or sink into positive feelings.
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I'm glad things are going well for you! In addiction counseling circles this is called the "pink cloud effect" and is very common in addicts who have sobered up for the first time in a long time. They feel great! They are optimistic and everything is going right, they go from "borderline depressed and listless to being full of will, oozing charisma, and generally vibing." It is an almost manic state sometimes.
The hard work will be maintaining this change over the long term. Most can't do it and fall back into old patterns relatively soon. If you want to maintain this success you need a plan to counter your eventual immunity to friend shame that will come with a few more weeks of sending reports. You'll need to up your shame dose or do an accountability detox of some kind. The human mind can get used to anything, mixing it up is the only way to make a strategy like yours work.
To clarify: I only did the whole logs and report thing for 7 days. It's a bit cumbersome to do and the format breaks down when I'm leaving the house for long periods of time. Also did not want to ask too much of my friend.
Just found out I have covid and am isolating now. This plus the general energy drain has me concerned. I was really happy huffing the "pink clouds". Really only needed to get off 50% of my bullshit for that effect. Going to need to find inside stuff to do to keep the torch lit here.
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That's good this strategy has been working for you. People like being around other people who are bringing optimism and positive energy.
Not sure about the oozing charisma and power level stuff. Maybe there are some longer term goals you can use your newfound energy to work toward? Finding a longer term girlfriend with the new picking up chicks charisma? Some more durable community bonds from the goodwill evident in other people doing you favors? Maybe do them some favors back?
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