The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
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Some thoughts on self-sabotage, also known as akrasia.
People generally want to face the world with accurate perception, sound judgment, and intended actions. The product of these three things is a choice made wisely.
Not doing one of the three makes the person appear to have chosen foolishly. If one of these was not within their power, they have an excuse. If all three were within their power but they didn’t do them, they chose foolishly.
When someone is punished unjustly or out of proportion for choosing foolishly, usually by a parent, manager, or teacher, they might become a perfectionist, of either the harder-working or the avoidant perfectionist (procrastinator) types.
Perfectionism and procrastination are often seen in people who have a toxic “need to be right” impulse.
Does getting physically beat by your parents for mistakes count as disproportionate punishment? If so, then it is a probable explanation for my procrastination.
Have you ever seen anyone cure their avoidant perfectionism? It affects every aspect of my life. Kinda getting desperate here....
Yes, but I have no advice. I decided to change, and over time I did.
Doing it this way was at least possible for me.
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Try Ideal Parent Figure guided meditations. They're very good for all sorts of attachment disturbances, stuck emotions and anxieties, hangups, unresolved issues.
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