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I think the Internet is a huge leveler. Men talk about their experiences openly. It didn't take long before I noticed that what men feel when they look at an attractive woman is different from what I felt when looking at an attractive man. For a few years I decided I was asexual, but I am happily married with four kids, so that label probably doesn't actually apply to me.
Even with the Internet, I still don't think I understood. People like to say that the Internet is not real life, and to some extent that's true (but if lots of people on the internet talk about red and green like they're different colors that you don't perceive, eventually you might start to understand that you're colorblind.) I understood that the porn-sick, perverted men of Reddit were very visually attracted to women, but that wasn't evidence that the Respected and Trusted men of my life, who share my workplace and classrooms, also reacted that way.
I waited for marriage. While my husband hadn't made the same choice, he was very respectful of my choice and saw himself as a guardian of my conscience. One day I wore a dress that was sexier than usual. I thought that was just what women did when they had boyfriends. To me, it was just a style that signified that I loved him. He responded differently from what I expected. He told me that, if I cared for him, I shouldn't wear that dress until we were married and wanted sex right then and there. I was embarrassed, but also it was a huge click for me.
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