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It's not that they don't have a clue, it's just not in their interest for men to know it, because the moment the info goes public, min/maxing autists they've been avoiding are going to min/max the shit out of it.
This is why there was so much hatred for the PUAs back in the day.
Then I would expect women to say different things to other women, vs. what they say to men. However I think they generally say the same thing in female-only company. Sometimes if they're a bit drunk, they might blurt out something "crass" which might be different from the sober, hand-wavy descriptions. (And probably more accurate of a specific part of their preferences).
But I think that the true answer is that it drastically depends on the time of month (due to hormone changes), on the stage of life a woman is in, and it's also a multi-variable optimization problem, with shifting weights. So I think it's either that they don't know or can't describe, not that they're intentionally withholding to stop min/maxxers from exploiting.
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