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Notes -
Congrats!
I was reflecting a bit on how amazing marrying well is to your quality of life last night. We had dinner with a fellow parenting couple - the husband is an excellent friend, a commiserate nerd and hobby-sharer, and is one of the few people aligned with me politically. Extremely intelligent, wouldn't be out of place here. His Wife is a kind, funny person. Great mom, extremely easy to talk to. The whole night was really fun. They're in overall a marriage id consider happier than average.
And yet my wife and I had to vent a bit afterwards at the cracks we can see in their relationship. He's just far too stubborn and snappy, a bit too annoyed at "irrationality" or mistakes. They've been together so long that the kindness-as-default standard isn't there, even if they work effectively as a team to manage their life.
I'm only ~10 years in but that single component is something I can see his wife be a little wistful for. It's something I dread losing so much I can't even imagine it.
I hope you're as hyped about marrying your spouse as I was to marry mine, and that the wedding ends up feeling like those very different people are still, broadly, "each other's people". It's a blast.
FWIW my marriage is almost 30 and we have had some stages where we were less than loving towards each other. Fortunately they have been short lived and we're mutually committed to making the relationship work. But everyone has bad moments and forgiveness is a gift to be given generously to those we love. Don't judge yourselves too harshly if you ever find yourself in one of those picky-pokey stages.
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