The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
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Notes -
It seems to me like you are far too focused on the idea of children getting good genes. Having children isn't a eugenics program, it's something you do (or don't) because it's meaningful in itself. It sounds like your girlfriend is fine (it's not like she's a moron whose company you can't stand, or you wouldn't have made it this far), and your relationship is fine. The only problem seems to be that you're getting in your head about something that isn't even important.
The two aren't mutually exclusive. I want my children to be better than I am, with every possible advantage in life. Because I love them.
I find it bemusing that there are putative parents out there who don't strongly value their kids being taller, stronger, smarter, more driven and beautiful than them. And given that the state of the art in gene therapy is woefully behind what it could have been in a sensible universe where ludditism doesn't run rampant, the best way is to find someone with the kind of genes that contribute to making them that way.
I work harder than I need to, live my life very differently than I could if all I cared about was maximizing hedonism or my short term satisfaction, because I want to give my kids opportunities I didn't have, the same way my parents sacrificed so much for me and would do so again in a heartbeat if they were handed a time machine.
I wouldn't marry someone pretty and dumb, I take pains to make myself better so I can demand the best. Am I perfect? Hardly. Still, I bring enough to the table that I expect to keep someone happy, happy enough to have kids with me, who, mediated by the unavoidable roll of biological die, can turn out in many different ways.
I intend to load the dice in my favor, and I 100% endorse what @curious_straight_ca says. You can find someone you love and who you can look forward to making your kids the best off they could be.
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