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Hold on, let's be clear.
I'm not blowing up on a bait post by an obvious drive-by troll. I ignored that. I'm responding to people like WhiningCoil and Dean who have been in this community for years, have hated me for years, and who actively want to push me out of this space. I am responding publicly, and clearly, in a way that emphasizes that they are in this space and people I like are leaving it, and that I, too, am leaving it.
The amount of people surprised at my thin skin should give those same people pause about its thinness. I went my whole time here without a single warning; I spend my time online hanging out on Twitter and rdrama and poking the bears of tech centimillionaires and rationalist grantmakers and government agencies and Wikipedia obsessives who spend decades etching their grudges into the public record. When I don't want to react harshly, I don't. In this case, I am, after some thought, telling people who have antagonized me for years precisely what I think of them in a public enough way that uninvolved people can understand exactly what's going on and why.
I don't care about the community's longevity at this point. People who do are welcome to it, but I think it had a great run for many years and stopped being what I loved in it years ago. I've had one foot out the door here for years, and it's time to step out properly. My burning of bridges is not performative--I have too many spaces full of good people for me to possibly keep up with, and dropping one that has many good people and a few miserable ones with altogether too much local-cultural sway is sad only because of history.
You're absolutely right: my leaving is a conscious choice I am making. I was not forced out. Every top-level post I make here, it's clear that plenty of people here appreciate what I have to say. I appreciate their interest, and I appreciate what this community was to me in the past, but I don't think this is a space where I personally should contribute time, energy, or passion any more.
It's possible that well down the line I'll pop back for a bit--never count anything out--but I wouldn't count on it.
The blowup qualifier is imho still accurate but you're right, I mixed up the chain order, my bad.
That... does not sound as reassuring as you seem to think it does. Disagreement and/or even rivalry is entirely fine, but the optimal amount of public meltdowns is definitely zero. It's a "fuck one goat" kind of deal, people either can't get under your skin or they can't - evidently, now they can.
In any case I've said my piece and wish to avoid inadvertently baiting you further, so I suppose I can only show my respectful disagreement and wish you luck in future endeavors on and off the Motte.
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I don't hate you at all. I feel nothing at all about you. When I'm not reading your words on a screen I largely forget you exist. I wasn't even sure I was remembering the right person! But I do have a mostly still functioning long term memory, and perhaps a slightly Kantian sense of honesty which you've offended.
The fact that you can explode with so much narcissistic rage at a guy who struggles to remember you going "Wait, aren't you that guy who did X?" with "YOU'VE BEEN MY MOST DEDICATED HATER FOR YEARS! FUCK YOU! YOU RUINED THIS PLACE!" is astounding.
Methinks you and Trace are both a little guilty of performatively shouting I DON'T CARE I DON'T CARE SO HARD CAN YOU SEE HOW MUCH I DON'T CARE MOFO?!
Listen, I've been here long enough. You've seen me hold a grudge, probably especially so from the vantage of being a jannie. Tell me you honestly think I've treated Tracings with the same grudging, dogged criticism as I had others.
I don't think they even compare. But I think this episode has more or less concluded, and our peanut gallery has made their determinations about who was more persuasive.
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