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Friday Fun Thread for June 28, 2024

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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Ah, NHS bureaucracy. You love to see it.

Highlights (or lowlights) include:

  1. Asking for bank details several months in advance of my post beginning (with 'strict deadlines') for payroll purposes, with the only options being banks that don't have an international presence. I suppose they'll cut a cheque to "Bank of Scotland" for the account number "I don't have one yet". What exactly am I supposed to be doing dilly-dallying there a month before my job starts, just so I can setup an account? The options that do allow for an account to be opened internationally, such as Revolut, apparently haven't been noticed as existent by their accounting department.

  2. Asking I fill out a previous NHS employment form and release letter, which doesn't account for the fact I haven't worked for the NHS before.

  3. Informing me on short notice that I need to travel to an entirely different city for a mandatory induction seminar. Lovely.

I just want to sleep a month straight, is that too much to ask?

The options that do allow for an account to be opened internationally, such as Revolut, apparently haven't been noticed as existent by their accounting department.

I'm sure they've noticed, it's just that those banks are major vectors for all kinds of fraud. The issue of fraud is much greater than some Indian doctor's ability to open an account ahead of landing in the UK.

I realize that this sucks for you specifically but this is probably not just a case of bureaucratic laziness.

What kind of fraud are they envisioning? It's an account for payroll purposes, they put money in, I take it out. God knows the NHS isn't giving me a credit card for expenses.

Trust me, when dealing with the NHS, never attribute to 5D chess/foresight what can be attributed to incompetence. They don't have plenty of reputable international banks that I know operate in the UK and India, so it's hardly that they options like Revolut are unreliable. And if they were, that would be my headache.

For one that you're not the one owning the account.

Having you be physically present in the UK is a feature not a bug. There is zero downside for the NHS, the HMRC or the police to force you to be present.

I am supposed to be owning the account. The NHS just needs a convenient place to send me my pittance, and the international banking system has been together long enough that there should be no interoperability concerns had they chosen a wider array of banks, I'm not asking for them to recognize the North Korean financial system, simply accepted banks that also operate in the UK.

There is plenty of downside for them, given that they'll have to scramble as well to update their records once I have an acceptable bank, and the entire system proclaims itself as being friendly to International Medical Graduates, one aspect being that they might well be internationally located when they're subject to a deluge of paperwork.

Yes, you are supposed to.