Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?
This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.
Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.
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Notes -
I appreciate the effortpost and math.
But the divorce rate is only half the battle. High income earners with college degrees may not get divorced at a high rate, but how many of the marriages are anywhere near healthy? In my own extended family, we have zero divorces but a bakers dozen incidents of infidelity that I only learned about at the family reunions after I could start drinking with the older cousins. In my own PMC circle, I've had both male and female acquaintances confide that they're only staying married for the kids and once they're out of college a divorce is guaranteed.
Again, I don't hold any fantasy notions about finding an easy marriage. I understand they take work and evolve over time. I've actually written about this on the Motte, but if I can't find a partner who I really believe has a similar concept of commitment (let alone level) - I'm reticent to risk it.
It doesn't have to be hard. Find someone that shares your values and wants the same things, or can learn to share your values and want the same things. I'm not a big marriage guy and I don't see the difference between long term relationships and marriage except in a legal sense. LTRs are in some ways more romantic and special because you're waking up each day and choosing to be together with no penalty for leaving, although if you are married and both work and don't have kids then those penalties are low as well, except having to say you're divorced.
Having kids is the big one; I do know very unhappy people that still need to interact with their hated former spouse due to shared custody, they never get over it. But if you want marriage and kids, there is only one way to do that, find a good woman and go for it! If you make a ton more and are worried about that then protect your assets.
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Your reasons are somewhat valid but at the end of the day so what? You are a man. Nobody will give you a pity trophy. If there is adversity it’s your job to overcome it.
Theme song: https://youtube.com/watch?v=TafuUDUhYmw?si=C7Ip2zUoyhUbnEkr
As someone younger, but in a worse position than the OP, I'm increasingly inclined to think that the whole thing is just ridiculous. Many players, few, few winners. Going monk-mode sounds more attractive by the day.
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