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My oldest is 8 and my youngest was just born, so ours are little more spread out. I think you're probably in the toughest spot right now. It was most difficult when we had 6/3/0 -- needy 1st grader + potty training rebellious toddler + newborn is really hard because they all demand very different things from you (in our case, mental/emotional engagement, constant attention and discipline, and constant hands-on care and supervision, respectively). I used to say that we were worn out, mind body and soul, by the end of every day.
I guess when I say it's not "difficult" I don't mean that it's not demanding, but that it doesn't require a extreme IQ, physical conditioning, net worth, etc. to accomplish. It also benefits from tapping in to our deepest instincts -- I can easily justify skipping the gym or watching trash TV instead of praying or reading a book, but I don't think I'm capable of just ignoring our screaming newborn, or not feeding the older kids, or ignoring my kids for days on end so I can play my favorite PC game or something. I don't always want to do those thinga but there's some primal drive that makes me get off the couch and do them anyway that I (unfortunately) don't have when it comes to doing squats or ab wheel rollouts.
All that said, the lack of sleep, minimal social life, and all around lack of freedom certainly takes a toll. But (as I'm sure is the case with you) I truly cannot imagine anything more meaningful I could be doing with my life.
Hang in there for the next few years. If there's one bit of advice I could offer, it's to get your kids doing chores as early as possible. All of our kids could shower themselves by age 4, and they could wash their younger siblings by age 6. My two elementary school age kids put away all the clean dishes and clean up the living room nearly 100% of the time, and they fold about 80% of the clean laundry, and they automatically do all their after school chores (putting away books, backpacks, etc) and change clothes after coming home from school. After every meal they all clear the table together and wipe it down. Even my 3 year old is doing small chores here and there (mostly "put this thing over there" type stuff). Kids are capable of a lot more than is typically demanded of them these days. In the meantime, I'd spring for a maid service if you can afford it. Sadly our area doesn't have one, but I would have been willing to pay quite a bit for one a few year ago.
When you have 2 kids you can spoil them, but when you reach 4+ it becomes more like captaining a ship and its crew than what is commonly thought of as "parenting." There's just so much work to be done to keep everyone clean, clothed, and fed that two adults simply can't do it all for more than a year or two without totally burning out.
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