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non_radical_centrist  4mo ago (farhakhalidi.substack.com)   6868 thread views

confessions of a femcel: why i'm a 24 year old female virgin.

farhakhalidi.substack.com

It's an essay about the various flaws modern feminist sex positivity culture has for women, and that it's often a good idea to refrain from sex even if one isn't religious. The author is an Only Fans model for context. I thought it did a great job laying out the downsides of ubiquitous sex.(Reposted because I accidentally linked to reddit instead of the original essay earlier).

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I personally know quite a few women in their late twenties who are relatively attractive and either virgins or have maybe had one partner in their whole lives. Often they’re women who have mainly female hobbies or career, but some work in male-dominated jobs too. They’re usually very shy and have feminine hobbies/interests.

One of the big failure states for men looking at modern women is judging them by the most promiscuous decile, simply because those are the women they’re most likely to encounter socially (even if they don’t hook up with them, they’re more likely to go out, drink, and have masculine hobbies and interests).

I’ve definitely heard this before, and it seems like solving the problem for shy, introverted women with (de facto)conservative preferences would solve the problem for normie men.

Modernity culturally has a lot to answer for, but in this case I think it’s also urbanization and the atomization that followed limiting traditional familial and community matchmaking. One sees the same phenomenon in big cities even in comparatively trad countries, where urban areas often have lower tfr than more rural communities in ‘lib’ nations. 2024 Tehran is less socially conservative than most Americans probably think, but it’s still more socially conservative than rural America and yet has a lower birthrate.

2024 Tehran is less socially conservative than most Americans probably think, but it’s still more socially conservative than rural America and yet has a lower birthrate

Ditto for Turkish cities.

Anglos have been living with dating norms that are relatively recognisable in the modern world for almost a millennium. Lots of cultural (and likely actual physical) evolution to accommodate this and still keep making babies. Rapidly modernising Muslim countries have all absolutely wrecked dating norms and corresponding abysmal fertility rates.

Yes I wouldn’t be surprised to see ultra-low East Asian type tfr in a lot of the wealthier Muslim countries very soon. Many of the people from there I work with are married (some for many years) but have only one child, or none at all.

Honestly I think a lot of the tragedy of this is that these women get onto the dating apps and it's usually one of two outcomes from what I've heard.

  1. Week or two of chatter with guys, maybe a first/second date which doesn't really go anywhere and eventually churning for another few months after a moderately bad experience or since work picks up. Rinse and repeat twice a year from 25-35.

  2. Get absolutely played by somebody they don't have enough knowledge to know who's too good to be true and either abandon the apps or pivot into the most promiscuous decile for vague meandering reasons of revenge.

I've noticed the best women I meet on dating apps downloaded it about a week ago, haven't been on a date yet, and are about to delete it because it's overwhelming.

Absolutely one hundred percent true. It’s almost as if being able to play that game and enjoying it for long amounts of time says bad things about a girl

Yeah. Lots of girls will do that where they'll make an app account, be exposed to the firehose of approaches, maybe do a date or two and if that person is good they've got a boyfriend and if that person is lacking they'll delete and be back in 6 months.

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