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Friday Fun Thread for May 17, 2024

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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women are spooked if you don't have an Instagram profile

Instagram specifically, these days?

But I get the spooking. I set up a Facebook account when it first came out, didn't find it interesting, and didn't think about it in connection to dating because I was in an LTR at the time; a few years later another (somewhat younger) girl I dated found that abandoned profile and seemed genuinely weirded out by my not having Friended every person in my life, like I had the profile of a serial killer. I hadn't realized that Facebook had succeeded in growing from "More pretentious Myspace ripoff" to "Indispensable credential of social proof" in just a few years. Back in the before times we had to wait for a new SO to introduce us to friends and family, but apparently now if a man doesn't at least have a sort of "pre-introductory portfolio" in that regard girls worry that they might get the "it puts the lotion on its skin" treatment.

I eventually met my wife on OkCupid, back when dating sites were new and weird, but also deep and suggestive of a more positive future. Then Match bought it out, and swiping-without-depth apps beat it out, and now if you start to type "dating las vegas" into Google then autocomplete will helpfully suggest "dating last chopper out of nam" instead.

I believe the cool kids are primarily on Snapchat, but insta hasn't turned into an old age home quite yet.

A large bit of it is that women love snooping on profiles. It helps them get a lay of the land, though it's not like guys don't do that, but that's for altogether different terrain.

Does the guy know how to dress? Has some semblance of a social life? Does he have anything interesting going on that isn't just drinking beer, playing football on a PS4 and so on? Useful things to know. While the utter absence of a social media presence isn't necessarily a deal breaker, it's a big deal to the kind of women who haunt dating apps. And what am I, if not obliging? And what are my two dogs, if not incredibly photogenic? All I have to do is stick my face in the frame and they'll do the heavy lifting.

I've already said that you were incredibly lucky to be using dating apps before they were turned into glorified gacha games, and that too, meeting someone you could spend the rest of your life with there. Well, it's been long enough since that was the case that the two of you must be having a nice, comfortable old time. Don't mind me, not jealous in the least.

Back in the before times we had to wait for a new SO to introduce us to friends and family, but apparently now if a man doesn't at least have a sort of "pre-introductory portfolio" in that regard girls worry that they might get the "it puts the lotion on its skin" treatment.

That sure stirred up some thoughts. In rough chronological order order:

  • Boy, am I glad to already be married...

and now if you start to type "dating las vegas" into Google then autocomplete will helpfully suggest "dating last chopper out of nam" instead.

Oh lol, I guess I'm not the only one.

  • We need a total and complete shutdown on America until we figure out what the hell is going on.

  • Butlerian Jihad when?