Skulldrinker
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User ID: 1874
Skulldrinker
4hr ago
Weird kids can get really emotionally dependent on teachers and other school staff; one guidance councilor obsessed with egg-cracking can do a lot of damage. And I've seen the cloying lovey-doveyness that gets lavished on adult trans people secondhand; the extreme protective emotional reactions when a wokie thinks they spotted a transphobe. I've seen straight girls dating men in dresses because they were told not dating a trans person is transphobic. I know a few weird girls who dabbled in lesbianism or FtM, then left it later and suddenly lost all their friends for being a betrayer.
I'm quite convinced that a lot (discalaimer: not all) of those spectrum-y people, especially the FtMs, female asexuals, and non-attention-whore they/thems, are just kinda trusting and gullible and were groomed into the identity by the LGBTQXY recruitment drive, independent of any molestation.
Even the from-an-early age trans stuff makes me slightly doubtful, just because I once knew someone dumb who thought her 18-month-old might be trans because he didn't like wearing pants.
The problem is the way any expression of gender non-conformity gets lovebombed, when it should be neither encouraged nor discouraged.
Skulldrinker
21hr ago
Recently saw Hail Mary and enjoyed it a bunch. Sped through the book and came to the conclusion that, just like The Martian, the film is a far better film than the book is a book (joining the likes of Jurassic Park and The Godfather, also arguably Silence of the Lambs); the author's writing style is very positive and optimistic but also very IAmVerySmart and I Fucking Love Science and generally gave me Reddit vibes.
So, because I apparently love checking in on the progress of cancer like I'm some kind of internet oncologist, I go to Reddit and poke around. The stuff at the top is mainly resentment that the author is "conservative" and a misogynist and did an interview with noted elite misogynist The Critical Drinker. And some grumbling that the author/viewpoint character used "He" pronouns for the hermaphroditic alien and assumed they's mate was female by calling thim "Adrian." (Because Rock Alien=Rocky, so Rock Alien's mate = Adrian). Such oppressive heteronormativity is proof that the author is a bad person. Also something something mediocre white man.
So yeah, reddit gonna reddit. It gave me a chuckle when years ago I would be disappointed and annoyed.
Skulldrinker
4d ago
A lot of my grumpiness comes from my experiences with the people around me, less so public figures. People who didn't know the difference between a bacteria and a virus or how the immune system works tried Educating me on The Science. They flipped from shaming anyone who tried socializing outdoors with precautions to shaming anyone who didn't go outside to protest against cops existing. Lockdown policies stuck around way past the "official" end of the pandemic, and I still see maskies out in public to this day. People would weaponize making a stink about masks and social distancing mid-conversation, like when the topic of how much money they owed me came up. They'd use selective anxiety to torture their partners or to get their way. It broke my faith in people as people.
Skulldrinker
9d ago
Is the current Zeitgeist turned towards "himbos," then?
official feminist sermons
Honest question, how widespread is feminist messaging regarding dating towards men these days? Women don't actually claim to want nice guys (but date jerks) anymore, they just date jerks (the most-panty-melting man in their Hinge inbox, who has no reason to treat them well) and complain about it. Part of this is that there's a lot more median and trashy women visible on the internet these days, and they don't seem to maintain the previous kayfaybe as tightly as the FeministTM bloggers of yesteryear did; the shallowness is very on-display. What "official" messaging that does exist consists of shitting on men for being a gestalt of the Patriarchy, rapists and abusers, and that hot guy who won't text them back after fucking them. They don't even call them NiceGuys anymore. I suppose there's ideological demands on men to be rabid protesting leftists (these demands coming from women who are themselves rabid protesting leftists), but its all abstract stuff to do with abortion, transphobia, Orange Man Bad, and anti-racism.
(Edit: the TL;DR is that the feminist orthodoxy of the time was that male romantic success was contingent on personal virtue, with personal virtue being defined as being politically Feminist, and later anti-racist and pro-LGBTQXYZ, with any lack of romantic success being proof of lack of personal virtue. Now the orthodoxy seems to just be that men=bad)
I'm old and don't really hear young guys talking about women at all, cut myself off from as much mainstream dating discourse as possible online, and I'm in a horrible bubble IRL where every woman compulsively says "Men are all such trash, amirite?" as a greeting, so I'm very aware my perspective is distorted.
Even the man-o-sphere stuff these days is plainly targeted at median/normie men, with an emphasis on those who actually do seem to have toxic masculinity (ex: the huge Muslim fanbase), whereas in the past, when the internet was just nerds, it very clearly was coming from/to nerdy experiences and frustrations.
Sometimes I hear women complaining about being on dates with man-o-sphere guys, and I'm a little bit skeptical. What fucking guy is the unlikely combination of hot enough to get a woman to go on a date with him, romantically frustrated enough to engage in Man-o-Sphere content, AND clueless enough to talk judgy redpill lingo about bodycount and hypergamy to the woman he's on a date with?
My last point of contact for the Apex Predator of contemporary playa appeal-maxxing is five years out of date, and it was to be hot while also being a black gay communist and say cringey soy things about Believing Women and Pronouns. And I don't know of any Man-o-Sphere influencers or dating coaches who give guys the advice that apparently works; self-identify as "queer" and use leftist buzzwords while treating women like shit.
Skulldrinker
10d ago
I've noticed this too. I've also noticed that the Enterprise's computer says "Acknowledged" instead of "Wow, that command is absolutely chef's kiss and has real Starfleet energy, I'll get on that right away. While we're here, tell me what thoughts you have on Deck Seven?"
Skulldrinker
12d ago
Those are probably actually emotionally avoidant people, since they don't represent one woman's entire dating history, and weren't diagnosed by Reddit.
I'm pretty sure that "Emotional Avoidant" is women pathologizing a man who just wants to keep fucking them but not do feel-y relationship stuff with them, because he's too hot to need to bother.
Similar to "Hysteria" or "Drapetomania." I just hear it said too much and it makes me roll my eyes, it's becoming one of those words like Abuse, Gaslighting, Love-bombing, et cetera.
That doesn't account for the queerfishing. Or the hockey porn. Every woman I have a conversation with apparently judges all media based on how queer it is. I really do think this is becoming a misdirected lust thing; slightly similar to "non-threatening boys" where sex and attraction is scary, so the only men they're comfortable lusting over are guys that will never do something so un-gallant as reciprocate, to the degree they forget that reciprocation is the point of sexuality.
Skulldrinker
23d ago
I've never understood how a second man helps in this situation; that's just another oppressor who might be a serial killer or have a podcast.
Skulldrinker
23d ago
Except that straight women love gay men. I firsthand observed a woman flip from "ewwww, men" to a loving gaze the moment a conventional-looking guy mentioned being gay.
I used to know a guy who listed his sexuality on Hinge as "queer" to increase his matches, even though he was already a black-ish communist.
Skulldrinker
24d ago
There's getting rejected a lot, and then there's getting rejected with language that the mere act of speaking to a woman in public is some kind of violation. "And then he tried flirting with me, ugh. At a bar, of all places. Who does that?"
I've had women approach ME in bars only for nearby women to reflexively try to "save" her, because they can't wrap their head around a woman wanting to talk to a man and I must be up to no good. And yes, I am bitter about this.
Skulldrinker
24d ago
Cutting down on all the ambient "Men, Amirite?" seems achievable. Right now, only being an absolute panty-melter can get a woman to briefly forget she's supposed to hate her oppressors or whatever.
Every time I've had a woman approach me in the past 5 years, she's either doing something bafflingly shitty (asking for my number while the guy she's on a date with is standing right there), turns out to not be single (her Instagram is full of posts about how in love she is with her "wife," a bald man who wears a dress), or sends a bunch of overly-affectionate and increasingly sexually-explicit text messages, then mentions being on her period for some reason, then ghosts the day of the date. Or within two minutes of conversation, she manages to mention how much she hates white people (we're both white), how men are all such trash Amirite, how such-and-such film is misogynistic, and how great some book is because it's so queer. Go fucking talk to a brown gay woman then if you hate everything about me so fucking much. Also, since when is it okay to harass a stranger in a public setting? If I flirt back, will you suddenly remember the rules and accuse me of something?
So by now just having a woman talk to me unprompted puts me in a bad mood on the spot.
Skulldrinker
28d ago
Since when is saying something controversial rewarded with female approval?
Skulldrinker
28d ago
Yeah, that's a big element for me as well, plus the weird double standard; western rurals/conservatives having slightly-old-fashioned views about women and gays that they can't really enforce = disgusting bigots, but downright medieval attitudes enshrined in law and actual gay-bashing from slightly browner people is a-okay.
Skulldrinker
1mo ago
It's funny you mention Tropic Thunder, this came up at work the other day.
two zoomers got all huffy because
Isn't that the film where Robert Downy JR does Blackface? Ewwwww.
Yes, it's a movie making fun of movies, the joke is that it's in bad taste.
You obviously don't know the history of oppression suffered by people of color and the emotional damage of-
No, I do know the history, I just don't think anyone was genuinely emotionally scarred by that film. People have just been told they're supposed to get mad when they see a pale face with something dark smeared on it.
That's what slipped out before I shut myself up, because I have to work with these people for a while. Downright disheartening.
Skulldrinker
1mo ago
True on the witches stuff, Shrek 2 is basically Witches Abroad.
Skulldrinker
1mo ago
Apparently there's a complaint among actual lesbians that their dating market is flooded with self-described queer women, whom they quickly find aren't actually particularly attracted to women or interested in sex with them, they just want to cuddle, do girly stuff, and talk about how much they hate men.
Skulldrinker
1mo ago
He's an absolute mindblower if you're a teenager, though.
Skulldrinker
1mo ago
Any of the following are good places to start:
Pyramids
Guards!Guards!
Wyrd Sisters
Reaper Man is good but it's best to read Mort first
Skulldrinker
1mo ago
It also happened shortly after Anita and Feminist Frequency had gotten the pot nice and stirred up.
Skulldrinker
1mo ago
Yeah, that's kinda GG all over. The horrible toxic gamergate harassers were all anonymous randos, while all the anti-team's lying propaganda and victim playacting came from, well, Named Elites with fancy health bars.
Ultimately, gamers as a community were test subjects for outrage-click journalism. In the lead up to GG, outlets and individual actors were discovering that if you shit on nerds, half of them will get mad at you, and the other half will knuckle under and get mad at the first half to prove they're "one of the good ones." Before white guilt was found to be WAY more volatile and easy to extract, they were going after nerdy male guilt.
Not to the point that, without explaining it, I was objecting to the science presented as nonsense. But I do have a degree in zoology, so I may be a bad sample.
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