Skulldrinker
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User ID: 1874
Skulldrinker
2d ago
Likes the Infinite Jest?
Odd, literally the first time I even heard of Infinite Jest, it was a talking point of the Perfect Organism in his demented efforts to become maximally appealing to college-educated women. Since 2020, has Infinite Jest become badwrong, along with Teslas?
Skulldrinker
2d ago
I'm happy that a Borderline vaguely associated with the geek scene got dragged into the light and meticulously proven as (mostly) a liar where everyone can see. These monsters are real.
I feel bad for the fiance. Everyone else's suffering in this is just funny.
I'm having a crisis of employment.
My cycle has become:
Get Job that finally has "launch potential" (it pays above a living wage, doesn't embarrass me or otherwise make me moment-to-moment miserable, isn't dead-end)
Finally I feel worthy of participating in basic human stuff; I can socialize with other people without a gnawing sense of inferiority. I'm finally going places and doing things.
I try dating again, or otherwise put myself out there. If women flirt with me, I try flirting back instead of assuming I've either misread the situation or they're trying to bilk me out of something.
It turns out I had misread the situation or I was being misled. Or a third party steps in to torpedo my efforts, because they apparently think I am not worthy of love.
This keeps happening at larger and larger scales until it breaks me and I get angry and depressed.
My work performance suffers and I lose the job.
Wash, rinse, repeat.
The most dramatic instances of this are actual breakups; in 2019 I was seeing someone wonderful and really flourishing as a person, having fun athletic passionate sex with my best friend (her words), doing stuff together, feeling supported and loved. I was motivated to acquire and save money for normal human things like sailing outings, vacations, larger apartments, rings, and such. Then I said "I love you" slightly less than a year in. Three weeks later, she ended it. It turned out, she ended it to go back to her abusive ex-husband, who she also told all about us so he could track me down and mock me. I went from being in the running for a manager position at work to being shuffled off to a dead-end location. Then COVID happened. With absolutely nothing worthwhile tying me to my current life, I bailed and moved to a larger city.
The last "good" job I had was still incredibly stressful; host (floor manager track) at a trendy downtown restaurant. But a major stressor on me was that women were suddenly flirting with me. I was getting unsolicited compliments and weird lingering looks and other foreign experiences, which didn't make any fucking sense; women much less affluent and attractive than these ones were still reacting to me with fear/contempt in my personal life. I have no fucking idea how to react to being flirted with by a customer beyond exiting the situation. Then I had a particularly bad personal-life encounter with someone neuro-atypical; she spends an evening calling me pretty as we make sci-fi references together, I kiss her, she holds my hand on the walk back to her place, I get another kiss and wish her good night. The next day she's angry that I kissed her and complaining about how straight guys are always assuming she isn't asexual and she "already has a crush, anyways," which broke several things inside of me. Then the floor manager training me leaves on vacation and I'm reporting directly to the insanely demanding micromanaging owner, and of course suddenly my "excellent" performance takes a nosedive while remaining the same. I become an anxious wreck at work, get worse at eye contact than I already am, have a mini-panic-attack every time a woman smiles at me or any time the owner is around, then apparently someone with more management experience submitted an application and I was out on my ass.
I can handle a stressful and chaotic workplace OR I can handle soul-crushing loneliness and mistreatment. I can't handle both at once. It turns out that human beings seek relationships for emotional support and comfort, and without them, they become brittle and despondent. Who fucking knew? Sometimes I worry I'm absurdly fragile; then I hear other people complain about their own life-deranging stressors and it turns out I just have it really fucking rough; people have tried killing themselves over stuff that's a Tuesday for me.
It's the dead of winter and there are no hospitality jobs. Anything in my actual field (zoology) pays literal dogshit if there were even any openings, which there are not at any level I'm qualified for. I CANNOT do sales anymore; I have no tolerance for scummy practices and refuse to become a human spambot. Unemployment runs out in two months. I don't know where all these "cozy boring jerkoff office jobs anyone with a bachelor's degree can get" are supposed to be hiding.
I have absurdly low cost of living; my entire rent/utilities/food/basic fun money requirements are under $1500/month, so I really only "need" $2K monthly to consider myself acceptably getting by, which is supposedly easy in a major urban center. Yet here I am, having to countenance liquidating investments to cover vet bills. What job am I supposed to be looking for?
Skulldrinker
8d ago
My experience of observing a serial-monogamist male feminist was that the "feminism" was just one element of the omni-leftist persona he had adopted in his quest to marry an affluent (preferably) white woman. It was a combination of tech startup agile corpo-speak, DNC volunteer, radical Marxist revolutionary, and Blackness (lots of talk about "Bodies" and playing up the Childish Gambino schtick). He also spent some time declaring he was non-binary (which apparently meant wearing a midriff-bareing top once or twice). Women apparently lapped it up, he didn't need to pester anyone. (Seeing all this made me hate the world)
He'd be emotionally manipulative to a pointlessly psychotic degree once they were in a relationship with him, though. Despite all this, he could do no wrong in the eyes of leftists, because how could a gay black feminist communist be a bad person? The very statement is an oxymoron.
Skulldrinker
15d ago
Ill typically throw in a courtesy $1 on takeout or when there's a human cashier involved.
Skulldrinker
15d ago
Maybe the utility isn't in the monster, it's in how much feeding it assuages the guilt of the feeder. So the real utility monster is one's own misaligned conscience.
What are some strategies for speed dating (other than Be Handsome, Muscular, and Affluent)? A short look around the internet only turned up the usual idealistic "Be Yourself" drek.
I tried an event the other night. The group's online footprint did an incredible job of telegraphing to me that I was not welcome there (half their mixer events are getting-nails-did sessions, half their speed dating events are queer-only, the other half queer-friendly, orthodox lingo, and all the event descriptions say proof of vaccination required and masks encouraged). But I badly needed to get out of my own head.
It turned out to not be nearly as hostile as I'd over-dramatically imagined; masks and vaccinations weren't mentioned, so I roll my eyes that they still bother to copy-paste it in everything. There were actual people there. Typically even just trying to have casual conversations with women in any context has a high chance of them scuttling away in fear or making some reddit-y dig along the lines of "men are all such trash, amirite?" (One allusion to JK Rowling being a "terrible person" was the most aggressive woke thing I encountered) It was nice to look into women's eyes and not see arbitrary hatred, fear, or looking-for-the-door annoyance. I wound up caught in the loop of job-interview questions and want to be more deliberately charming next time.
Skulldrinker
22d ago
"I'm getting 3 out of 10, elbows too pointy" vibes, unless there's a serious facial deformity involved.
Skulldrinker
28d ago
What's a normie-friendly example of official "fact-checking" being an obvious farce? I've run into a few too many people IRL bemoaning the loss of Facebook's official fact-checkers, and my urge to retort is rising.
Skulldrinker
1mo ago
Ready Player One was shit, though. Knights of Badassia is a more authentic nerd film.
Skulldrinker
1mo ago
You just have to buy something.
Skulldrinker
1mo ago
Everyone I knew personally at the time who would identify as being on "the Left" spoke of the protests in nothing less than rapturous terms and would loudly claim to be confused about how anyone could see it as anything other than a second civil rights movement. This includes the sorts of people who volunteer for mainstream dem candidates' campagins. Which were also the people who used cringe Marxist lingo constantly. Which were also the people who complained about how there were so many white people around, or performatively wince whenever they see an American flag. And also the people who were the most tedious about COVID and demanded the same tediousness from those around them, unless it was to protest racism.
The rank-and-file are where the party gets it's staffers from, and they're where regular people get the most personal contact with political parties and form their opinions of them.
I could make a similar rant about where on the doll the Trump supporters touched me, and I'm sure there are many who's hatred of Trump is based on obnoxious personal interactions with his fans rather than Orange Man Bad propaganda.
How the supporters of a political party conduct themselves is de-facto an element of that party's platform and persona.
Skulldrinker
1mo ago
No political party or subculture at this point can in good faith claim to be the one who's "chill" about things and confused as to why other people are so bent out of shape, there must be something wrong with them. Everyone has gotten dirtied up at some point.
Also, being performatively concerned about something is not the same as being afraid of it.
The other day I had a conversation with someone who used to work for a Non-profit who's whole thing was getting Asylum-seeking migrants in Chicago as many resources as possible. She left that job because most of it was telling them (the Migrants) to lie to get more stuff, and coaching them on exactly what to say. Her take was that the whole thing was just moving people around and extracting money from the city so the Non-profit could continue to pay its directors their cushy salaries and justify the non-profit's continued existence, while dumping Guatemalans in the city's shelters and public housing so the men could be layabouts or thugs while the women deployed their kids to sell candy in Fulton Market (trendy restaurant district).
So not anything we didn't already know. Just funny to hear it from the horse's mouth. Especially an ethnically-mexican horse
Skulldrinker
2mo ago
Maybe whatever it is that makes Hotel Sex good is increased when the hotel itself is moving.
Skulldrinker
2mo ago
FTC
SEC
Oops. SEC was what I was thinking of, egg on my face.
Skulldrinker
2mo ago
I think the market has been "suppressed" lately and that suppression got lifted when the election results came in; a lot of this might be the Halvening taking delayed effect. This is what the market looks like when the FTC et al isnt expected to continue shitting on crypto.
I noticed IRL reddit-brained leftists snarl and scoff when the subject of crypto was touched upon this summer. They're always patient zero for left-wing propaganda.
Skulldrinker
2mo ago
Sorta. In liquidity pools, there are coin/stablecoin pairings and stablecoin/stablecoin ones (with lower payout).
Skulldrinker
2mo ago
AI slop detected. A human would get bored meticulously laying out the same obvious ideas over and over and assume the reader can draw a conclusion or two. The next step in LLMs will be them being able to pretend to get bored with things instead of being eternally patient and obsequious.
Also, couldn't conditions of extreme danger and tightness of resources create a society of extreme communalism where no one's allowed to do anything without group approval?
Or a society trained to military order. Maybe Fremen would be a better model than an IQ-jerkoff fantasy.
A man's body is his own; his water belongs to the tribe.
Skulldrinker
2mo ago
He's charitably describing even the best-case scenario of someone who was at least functional before going to prison, something blue-collar or menial, had a wife he slapped around occasionally and kids he'd over-discipline when drunk. Not a great human being, but a step or two above the functional scum they are now.
Skulldrinker
3mo ago
Only thing I can say is I've had two real loves in my life, and most of the reason I loved them was because they had qualities and virtues that I was in awe of. And plenty of those qualities were feminine.
And by now I frankly want companionship, validation and physical comfort more than I want to get off. I find myself disappointed that so few people will let me in, or show me anything that's really theirs and not a regurgitated soundbite.
Skulldrinker
3mo ago
All my friends rarely date these days for that reason. These issues are all we talk about when we get together.
So their conversations don't even pass the Bechdel Test.
I get that this is a different country with its own rat-race social problems, but I roll my eyes at the fear of men who hate women. Most men who hate women hate them because women won't get anywhere near them, so they never have an opportunity to hurt a woman apart from mean comments on the internet. Sexually successful men dont hate women, they just don't treasure them, and treat them how [sexually successful] women treat men; as disposable. Abusive men don't hate women, they hate the world and women just can't resist being around them for some mysterious reason.
Or by "men who hate women" does she mean that don't soyfully agree with generic feminist talking points? I once ended a relationship over watching The Imitation Game, of all things. "Ah, here's Kiera Knightly reprising her role as a modern woman trapped in the past" was apparently such a hateful comment that it got me a continuous diatribe about women's suffrage until I flat-out got up and left. I wonder if that was proof that I hated women.
Skulldrinker
3mo ago
I see outdoor maskies every day, and they almost always have leftist signifiers.
Mask requirements for businesses didn't end in my city until...well, I got so frustrated that I left for six months in January 2022. When I came back in 2023, they were finally gone.
I had predicted this at the beginning of the pandemic; people don't generally understand that even the yearly flu vaccine is ~70% effective. By the time they get a vaccine, they'll be so wound up and terrified that it won't be good enough; like a neurotic, there is no threshold of proof that will make the anxiety go away.
I remember the day the CDC officially ended the pandemic, a customer at work said it wasn't over for him. Gay. Corpo Tech job.
Skulldrinker
3mo ago
It's possible that I'm just unlucky enough to live adjacent to the art/punk/hipster neighborhood of a major metro area. It has the most pronouns and trannies per capita in the entire midwest. I also move in geek/gamer circles, and like short haircuts.
I've found that my very first time with anyone tends to suck; the good first-time sex I've had still wasn't as technically good as the 3rd+ times with that same person. Maybe zoomers never fuck anyone twice, so they never find this out?
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