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No you don't. Ze is a biological male. I agree with this, you agree with this. When I tell you "ze is non-binary" I am saying "ze dislikes being described as he or a man in social contexts", which is a true fact about this person's behavior, as apparent to you as it is to me. The sentence is only a lie if you interpret "non-binary" as meaning "physically intersex" which is not what I understand the word to mean in that sentence, nor, for that matter, how anybody else defines it.
You might as well say that I'm lying when I say "this person is a red-head" because you insist on only applying that word to someone whose entire head is painted cherry-red, rather than someone with orange hair. You can come up with a strained argument for this being the literal meaning of the phrase if you showed it to a space alien, but it's not what anybody who uses the word means by it. (Or, for an even closer example: if I tell you "this guy is a furry", are you going to insist that this is a lie, because he's only wearing a suit, and doesn't have literal fur? No. Regardless of your opinions on whether either is an advisable lifestyle choice, "nonbinary" is a perfectly good descriptor for a certain type of person as defined by their behavior, just like "furry" is.)
If you've got another non-derogatory descriptive word for "person who dislikes being called a man and wants to be addressed as a ze", I'm all ears. But I think "non-binary" is a perfectly good descriptive term which people are unlikely to misunderstand as being in reference to a hormonal condition.
I can simply call him a guy, which is a true statement. He can dislike being a guy all he wants, but he can't change it, any more than I can change into a redhead by insisting upon it(I could dye my hair of course, but being male/female is rather more fundamental).
I'm not sure what behavior you're referencing- we have a non-derogatory word for males who engage in effeminate behavior: metrosexual. They're still guys.
I'm not arguing that it would be untrue of you to call zir a guy; I'm saying it wouldn't be a lie to call zir non-binary. Very different. (Compare: this guy is a furry/this guy is a Homo sapiens.)
That ze is liable to tell you that ze is non-binary, refer to themself as a "ze" or a "Mx", wave a yellow-white-purple-black flag around, dress ambiguously, not want to hang out with to you if you insist on calling zir "Sir" or "Ma'am", and so on. When I tell you someone "is nonbinary", that is what I am telling you; it's not rocket science, and it's not synonymous with the information I'd be conveying if I told you a guy was metrosexual.
These behaviors are political, they’re not anything to do with gender. Non-binary is a made up identity that doesn’t reflect being outside the gender binary because being outside the gender binary is a set of birth defects which notably are not called nonbinary. You could say ‘so-and-so is very pro-lgbt’ and convey the same information, except for preferred pronouns- and that’s generally not conveyed by a non-binary label, because there is no actual agreement among people who’ve deluded themselves into thinking they’re outside the gender binary as to what pronouns they prefer(ze/see vs they/them vs she/they or xe/xim or whatever other bullshit they’ve made up).
‘Jim is non-binary’ tells me Jim’s political beliefs, but ‘Jim is woke’ does a better job of that. It tells me he’s probably not a macho he-man, but ‘Jim is metrosexual’ is an existing description for an adult male who has many feminine traits. It doesn’t tell me his pronouns or preferred form of address, other than their being wrong. And that is the only information it conveys.
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