thasero
3mo ago
Take a look at https://start.omgyes.com/join - online videos / courses about different sexual techniques. It's specific, concrete, and actionable.
thasero
6mo ago
I would second a recommendation to go to the onsen, especially an outdoors one - it's a sensory experience just as much as good food and good drink, and particularly in the winter, after a day of winter sports. It's the cap to an active day, not an alternative.
Also, try some different teas while you're there, possibly paired with Japanese sweets. Traditional Japanese sweets are low-sugar, frequently containing a bean paste where a Western pastry would put a fruit filling, and often meant to pair with a cup of tea. The "afternoon snack" is just as valid a gourmet goal as the lunch and dinner. I picked up a taste for green tea from my time in Fukuoka.
thasero
1yr ago
I quickly suspected that this was fake, although the particular kind of fake I guessed was the moderately common "swap the gender and see if Reddit gives the same response" experiment.
For an example experiment, in the original post a man says "I stopped being attracted to my wife because she got overweight, and divorced her; my beautiful new wife is thin, but my ex makes snide comments about it, saying she's probably anorexic. Am I wrong to be offended?" The experiment post purports to be from a woman who says "I stopped being attracted to my husband because he was underweight, and divorced him; my handsome new husband is ripped, but my ex makes snide comments about it, saying he's probably on steroids. Am I wrong to be offended?" The author of the fake post then compares the responses to see what kind of double standards people apply.
Other folks mentioned the details that ring false, but the obvious one to me is getting matches on a dating app without changing your appearance. Absolutely nothing matters as much as the man's photographs. Even a man with a prestigious, high-paying job needs to prove it with photographs that depict him doing prestigious things, in or around expensive objects he purchased; changing the job title won't do it.
I suspect a gender-swap double standards test because the reverse post - "I'm a woman, during the pandemic I changed, now I get way more attention from the opposite sex, but for a superficial reason, so I have mixed feelings" - could be plausible if changing the right details. In the original post, she doesn't get a new job - she goes on a pandemic diet-and-exercise change that makes her much thinner, and the quantity and quality of dating app attention goes way up. I can imagine that other details that don't apply to men-looking-for-women on dating apps come from transliterating, rather than translating, similar parts of the original woman's post.
thasero
1yr ago
In that case, it should definitely include as default context the comment to which the moderator is responding - it's necessary to meta-moderate the moderator.
thasero
1yr ago
I've just been asked to janny a comment that was in fact a mod explaining their moderation of another user. I was suitably entertained that the system reached enlightenment and asked "Who moderators the moderators?" so concisely, but it probably shouldn't do that.
thasero
1yr ago
I'm sure there are moral hypocrites out there, but from what I've seen of redpill arguments per se, the reason for men to be promiscuous and women to be innocent is simple: Men like innocent partners, women like promiscuous partners. Therefore if you are a man who wants to succeed, you should be promiscuous, and if you are a woman who wants to succeed, you should be innocent. Morality has nothing to do with it.
Suggesting that a man should be a virgin himself if he wants a virgin wife is like saying that he should have D-cup man-breasts if he wants a girlfriend with good knockers. It might seem fair in a moral sense, but as strategy it's gibberish.
Likewise, the question isn't whether a promiscuous man should want a promiscuous woman, the question is whether he actually does. The question isn't whether women should feel empowered and emotionally whole after a promiscuous sex life; it's whether they actually do.
Of course, recommending in favor of promiscuity for men and against it for women runs into the practical problem that the amount of casual sex has to add up somehow, even if it's never been exactly equal. But that's just as much a problem for modern feminism as it is for redpillers; if the hot guy who was juggling 5 different casual partners suddenly became Mr. Open Honest Commitment, the other 4 women he didn't pick would still have to re-asses their sex lives. As the OP says, there aren't enough mega-players to go around. The reason every promiscuous woman has slept with one is that they were sharing.
thasero
1yr ago
It's an effect of online dating - a women can see and match with a lot of men, but those men will disproportionately be from the small group of popular men who can easily have casual sex. Hence the woman can imagine that it's easy for men (she's met a lot of men who are doing it, and many of them did her) while women have it hard (she doesn't like her own results and wants to be treated better). I'm not sure how common this belief is, but I recognize it.
thasero
1yr ago
Bumble has an alternate mode for finding friends, but it is infamously rife with people who are either gay and cruising for sex with some veneer of plausible deniability (on the male side) or incredibly flaky (on the female side). It only matches you with potential friends of the same sex because, in practice, opposite sex pairing only happened between people who were into each other's physical looks anyway, and the man would typically end the "friendship" date by trying to convert it into a date-date where he could get laid sometime soon. As a result, male-female friendship was officially declared unrealistic and removed from the app.
The real Tinder equivalent for finding friends is probably Meetup; look for some hobby or activity group that meets in your area, go there every single team the meetup occurs, and make small talk while participating. Regular attendance will eventually net you friends in the same way regular gym attendance will make you jacked: i.e., not the first time, nor as fast as you might hope, but after 2-3 years everyone will see the difference.
thasero
1yr ago
That's certainly the plot of Jane Austen's books - but the theme of the "bastardized modern version" is the conclusion a modern person would draw even if they read the originals.
Yes, the heroines of Jane Austen books have to marry for sound financial reasons. That is not an endorsement of marriage! It's an endorsement of having enough money. For a fun romantic fiction, it's still an excellent plot device to make your character have to go flirt with someone, and then you write about the ups and downs of the flirting versus the finances. The lesson a modern woman takes is that you should have your own apartment and job, and then you will never have to flirt with anyone except Mr. Darcy.
Of course, the point of the "Prejudice" in the "Pride and Prejudice" is that you might not want to flirt with Mr. Darcy either, and you might need to get over yourself and think twice to land a really good match, but that's typically not the theme I see emphasized by modern readers.
Let me make a comparison: Have you ever tried to look up the details of a recipe online, and then you end up on a recipe website that's hidden the facts you actually need beneath 70 paragraphs of SEO-approved blather, so you're trapped scrolling past this bullshit when all you want to know is how much to butter to use?
The courses on OMGYes get straight to telling you where to put the butter. How much, when, should you warm up the pan first. It's very helpful if you want to, ahem, drill down to questions about speed, pressure, angle, rhythm, and so on.
If I had to use a culture-war shorthand, I'd describe it as grill-pilled with a layer of DEI marketing. The women in the videos are disproportionately black, but none of them lecture you about structural racism.
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