ser
2mo ago
It's already cheaper to fly out to other countries for specific procedures in a lot of cases - I'm expecting this trend to continue. Cheap barebones plan at home for bad edge cases and trips over the border for anything else. But 'cheap' plans are also getting expensive. I'm on a $12k deductible plan that runs me $320/m. I'll probably go uninsured once it starts costing $400/m+ in 1-2 years. I can afford it, but it just seems ridiculous to pay this much for something that does nothing for me. I had to see a specialized professional recently - $300/visit, $50/m medication with goodrx coupon, $220 bloodwork (not covered by insurance because not generalized bloodwork). Had to see them for 9 months - almost $4k total. Not a single thing was covered by the insurance I'm paying $320/m for.
ser
2mo ago
While I agree that there may be some positive feedback loops that killed off the appeal of some types of social interactions, I think it's mostly just an excuse for many to continue scrolling. There's other social activities outside of hitting the club or bars that are also cooling off. I believe every possible activity is in competition with scrolling tiktok. The guys on twitter crying about party sluts in the club are just using it as an excuse to why they are not out there getting easy (according to them) women every weekend and are sitting refreshing their feed with 8 hour screen time on a weekend instead. Probably the first time in history when men are complaining about legions of easy women. What's easier? Dress up, get a fresh cut, allocate some cash, get at least one friend to do the same (nobody is going to the club alone) on a weekend or just stay in and scroll your favorite source of dopamine instead? I think it's really that simple. I'm guessing we would be back to early 2000s state of things within a year if our phones just poofed one day. Back to what I said in my original post, 7 to 9 hours of screen time daily, with half of it being off work is truly insane and we all kind of just accept it. As on old zoomer, 4 hours of screen time was my allowance with my xbox 360 on a weekend after a week of good grades. Now everyone, from young to old, has this as their daily baseline. Even Elon Musk, the richest person in the world, is glued to his twitter feed while running 67 companies at the same time. He is able to remain functional (even that is debatable) because of his naturally high agency and a curated cocktail of medications and supplements. An average person doesn't have either. On the bright side, natural selection will probably do its thing pretty quickly and humanity will be back to normal after a generation or two because everyone else will die off glued to their screen and talking to their AI caretaker
ser
2mo ago
A lot of good points under this post, with many of which I agree. But there's something I haven't seen mentioned. Average screen time for Gen Z and Millennials is 7 to 9 hours a day (half of that being at work and other half recreational). After 8 hours of sleep, 8 hours of work, 3 hours of grooming/shitting/pissing/cooking, 1 hour of commute, an average young person has 4 hours of free time per day. I have absolutely no doubt most of that free time is going towards scrolling Tiktok, Instagram or Twitter. As a man, if you're not lucky enough to have some women in your workplace that are your age and single (good luck taking the risk to rizz them up), have a group of friends that's not just made up of other men, or have hobbies that aren't meatfests, you're done for. Even if you're good looking enough (unlikely), meeting women through dating apps is pretty much a second job, for which you don't have free time for because you're scrolling tiktok. And everywhere else in your life, you just don't have an opportunity to mingle with single women. And even if you're lucky enough to have women around you can hit on - that requires effort and time, will you sacrifice your precious screen time for it? Even if you do, the ball is now in woman's court and women spend 1 extra hour scrolling their favorite choice of social media on average.
ser
2mo ago
lowering the quality of elder care
clankers teleoperated by third worlders coming near you
ser
2mo ago
Nope as far as I'm aware. I got mine off ebay, found a seller with lots of recent sales and went with it.
ser
2mo ago
Yep, it is Russian and has been around since 1980s, but a lot of other peptides these days come from China and India. I'm assuming USA isn't interested in regulating stuff like that because it's so cheap so can't make much money off it. I also bought mine as 'research chemical' and had to mix it myself.
ser
2mo ago
B12 during periods of less animal product consumption.
I've tried it long time ago, unfortunately gave me really bad hormonal acne (went away after I stopped taking it)
I'm intrigued by this Selank thing. First time I've seen it. How did you hear about it?
It's been around for a long time, I've first read about it 10+ years ago when I was briefly interested in biohacking, but never got around to trying it. There's a 'chinese' peptide craze right now among techies and finance bros, I've finally decided to do a deep dive and try the one that I thought would benefit me most and it turned out pretty good so far.
ser
2mo ago
Anyone wanna share their peptides/supplements stack that actually does something? My current stack (aside from very basic stuff like Vitamin D):
- Omega-3 for skin, inflammation, cognition - made a difference for my skin, not sure about anything else, make sure to get high quality one
- Magnesium Glycinate for sleep - makes it easier to fall asleep, and helps with not feeling dead on wake up on nights when I don't get enough sleep
- Selank: for anxiety, mood regulation, depression - genuinely makes me feel more happy and stable. I've been going through cycles of rumination, depression and mild panic attacks at night and they've pretty much stopped. I still get negative thoughts at night here and there, but instead of automatically falling into a negative feedback loop I can just observe the thought and move on. This is my first cycle of selank, so not sure how it's gonna go in the future but I'm very surprised to see such noticeable changes, usually with stuff like this changes are marginal.
- Creatine: had to stop this one for now, but it's great for the gym. I've been reading research on 10gr dose providing visible cognitive benefits, so I will try that instead of 5gr to see if it makes a difference next time I can hop on it.
ser
3mo ago
but you're never too old for a spontaneous trip with friends!
of course you're never too old, but like you mentioned, responsibilities get in the way. Not on my end, I'm as free as one can be. My friends, not so much. It could be one of the reasons why I'm feeling a sense of urgency to fix my social anxiety - it will only get worse as I get older. In my college years, there was something going on every other day and I would reject almost every opportunity. Now, it takes 8 months of planning, praying, coordinating to organize a 2 week trip. I need to be able to go out of my comfort zone, meet new people and feel comfortable with spontaneity.
ser
3mo ago
Appreciate you taking the time to respond. I'm really 50/50 on hostels, a friend has told me it's the best way to meet new people when traveling, but just like you I'm not too keen on sleeping in a shared room. Sounds like an easy way to not get good sleep and potentially get your valuables yoinked if you're not attentive enough.
All great advice, I definitely gotta get into soccer, especially with world cup coming to US soon. That would be an easy way to bond with someone.
This sounds crazy, but I did a meditation retreat recently, and their recommendation to learn to get past the 'shock reflex' is to step into a cold shower, feel the shock, and then try to breathe normally, wait under it to acclimatize and feel the water on your skin as just water rather than as shock and danger. I found it quite helpful with some of the meditation stuff that hits that brain impulse to instantly react rather than relax.
I've done cold showers in the past, but for no particular reason and without a particular goal. Now that I've identified what to work on, perhaps I'll find it more useful.
It helps just a bit, but at the time I was in a completely different headspace. I've had social anxiety for as long as I can remember, so I've been treating it like it was a completely normal way of life for the longest time. After all, while I'm a social recluse in some ways - I still have some friends, had some relationships, and so on. That assured me that I'm just an extreme introvert that prefers being alone for most of the time (a lie I told myself). Propranolol was helpful to turn down some physical symptoms, but I found that I've already managed to lower my stress baseline in social situations to where propranolol brought me down to back then, so it's not that useful to me anymore. I haven't tested it in an extreme situation like a presentation because I haven't had the chance, but I still have some and will use it once an opportunity presents itself.
Unless you're approached by someone else, would you be the type to initiate an interaction?
Default me, before I started making a conscious observation about my social anxiety, absolutely not. Whenever I can't find something at the store, I would always walk through the whole place on my own instead of asking an employee. But now I'm always doing my best catching myself when my brain tries to 'protect' me from social interactions like this. This alone is big progress, in the past anything social would instantly get vetoed by my amygdala.
You also mentioned before having hobbies and interacting with people in those hobbies--has this not been an effective strategy?
Yes, but once again, those posts were made when I was still in my old ways before I got put in this mental hole and had to face my reality. I was on some sort of autopilot, feeling something is wrong but not fully understanding it.
If you're an introvert that's one thing, but if you're an extravert trapped in a situation where being extraverted is stressful, that's another.
I'd say I'm an extraverted introvert. I do value my alone time, but I'm completely fine in extraverted situations when surrounded by close friends and family. Biggest triggers are unfamiliar people, being put on the spot, etc. I remember having 120 bpm heartrate, muscle spasms and heat flashes 2 hours before doing a presentation in college.
ser
3mo ago
I've actually read this book a long time ago when I was right out of highschool, and it was probably one of the reasons, aside from having social anxiety and avoiding any additional social pressure like potential job interviews and so on, why I continued pursuing doing my own thing. And I completely agree with what he says in this excerpt. I genuinely enjoyed what I was doing. It's probably why I've lasted so long head down, minimum social interactions, just focusing on increasing my bank account. Problem is it's not that exciting to me anymore. I've had an imaginary $ target in my head. As I keep getting closer to it, I'm realizing literally nothing will change in my life once I reach it. I can already afford 80% of things I'd possibly want at this exact moment. I'm realizing I want recognition, I want to be an expert at something. I think I can coast by for a few years by finding excitement in simple things like learning new skills (riding a motorcycle is already on the list) or doing stuff like skydiving, but I imagine it all gets old fast. I still have to fix my main issue before I worry about any of this though. Maybe while I'm in the process of doing so, I'll find excitement in something sustainable that can last many years and thoughts of having a career will dissipate, but I'm not there yet.
ser
3mo ago
Do go into more detail, please. Did you stay at hostels? Any recs for which places to visit first?
Learning to be a good, confident conversationalist is like learning to become good and confident at a sport or an instrument
I know this. Matter of fact, I'm pretty confident and charismatic with people I'm familiar with. It's a different matter with unfamiliar people. Feels like I move 1 sd to the left for IQ, physical symptoms don't help either. But I've now realized that simply having the right mindset and fighting the initial resistance of my brain trying to protect myself from 'danger' helps things already, so I think more exposure will definitely help
ser
3mo ago
I'm aware. I'm also not interested in buying a place now, nor am I interested in moving to deep suburbia, where improving my condition would be even harder purely due to population density.
ser
3mo ago
Yeah, that's why I'm leaning towards solo travel. I've traveled before (non-solo) plenty of times and the mindset you mentioned is definitely real. I've just been very dismissive of my condition, never tried to treat it and considered being like that normal. Only recently did I come to realize how much it's affecting me, so hopefully socializing with intent to get better yields positive results.
ser
3mo ago
I know it's a pretty good accomplishment, but it's sadly nothing crazy. All my money buys me a modest single family home where I live. I would also give away 90% of it if I could fully fix my head in an instant.
ser
3mo ago
I definitely have to move out, but I’m leaning towards traveling first. I do have friends, but they are scattered around the world, I could start off with visiting some of them.
ser
3mo ago
Retiring is the last thing I’d want to do. I’ve already missed out on a lot of experiences sitting at home
ser
3mo ago
I know it’s young, but I’ve definitely missed some experiences. No way to go back in time to go to that college party or on a spontaneous trip with friends.
Just doing online hustles. Started off at 12 with selling minecraft items for real money on a big custom server, then to doing regional arbitrage for games on steam (buy cheap in one region, sell high to someone in a more expensive region), and so on. With all the money I’ve made off stuff like that, I eventually moved on to trading crypto and then to stocks with some moderate success. Living with family also helped a lot, around $40k/year in savings just off that.
ser
3mo ago
- 28
- CS degree (not a good dev)
- never had a job
- low 7 figures saved up (grinded online from age 12 with minimal spending)
- have social anxiety (moderate, but can be severe in certain situations)
- still live with parents
- no nearby close friends, everyone scattered around the globe
- have never been in a serious relationship. Longest one was 3 months - 2 months long distance, 1 in person. Been completely bitchless for the past 3 years.
That’s me. I recently got injured and was forced to be sedentary and homebound for months. That put me in deep depression and some sort of quarter life crisis. I’ve realized I’ve been living a pretty shitty life ruled by social anxiety. Sitting home all the time, turning down experiences, friendships and relationships left and right, while lying to myself about doing it not because of my condition, but because ‘I’m grinding.’ Now I’m feeling I’ve missed out on so much of my youth. I fucking regret it, but it’s not helpful to lament about the past because I can’t change shit, and at least instead of being a useless slob I did something with my time. Now what the hell do I do now? I’m thinking of going all in on treating the root cause of the problem - my social anxiety. Therapy (CBT), although I’m not too hopeful on its helpfulness, some light meds/supplements (no SSRIs, Propranolol, Selank, vitamins), exercise. And of course exposure therapy. Not sure how to go about it - get some type of public facing job, volunteer or maybe solo travel and live in hostels? Once that’s unfucked, I will move onto other things like my (non-existent) career and relationships. Any advice, thoughts, input on my plan?
ser
3mo ago
I would go on a fun trip, perhaps snowboarding in Hokkaido. Best way to get more comfortable with your money is spending it. Preferably on something enjoyable.
If it had to be an investment, I'd do GOOGL or ONDS. GOOGL - They're kicking ass in AI and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future. ONDS - I think they'll get a lucrative government contract soon, currently undervalued imo.
ser
3mo ago
People are forgetting past perfective. You can find oodles of Youtube videos titled "What I wish I knew before I started (whatever undertaking)" and every one of them means "What I wish I had known."
This is so funny to me. I remember being a 10 year old kid taking extra english lessons, getting those tenses drilled into my brain only then to move to America a few years later and never experience anyone use them outside of english class. I'm pretty certain 12 year old immigrant me was more knowledgeable about english grammar than some of the teachers.
ser
3mo ago
You're right, but I think you're misunderstanding the original point of the article. It's not a formula for being reasonably in shape while maximizing enjoyment of your workouts for 15+ years, it's a formula for getting jacked. So, for that purpose alone, I think it's great. Obfuscation of additional complexity like enjoyment is by design because that should come later. I didn't start working out because I wanted an exciting activity to do, I wanted to stop being a long skinny stick. I think most people reading that article are in the same position. Enjoyment, understanding of health benefits and everything else came later. But following a dumb regiment that only required following a couple basic rules and consistency was very important in the beginning.
Do you believe in therapists? Given my recent realization of how much social anxiety controls my life, the thought of getting a therapist and trying to handle the issue professionally has come up many times. Don't get me wrong, I think practices like CBT are legit, they should definitely work for a lot of people. But when it comes to people that conduct those practices, I'm most certain many of them are not qualified/fit for the job. Each patient is like a unique 1000 piece puzzle that therapist has 1 hour per week to work through. I believe the bare minimum for a therapist is being on top of their life at all times - how many of them are like that? Simply having mold at home would change therapists' brain chemistry, thus affecting their work. How about vitamin deficiencies? Going through personal life problems at home? Not getting enough sleep? That just means that it would take you so much time to find the one that's actually worth your time and money. And at $200-300/hr they are charging, I imagine most won't spend thousands to find the one that works for them.
But anyways, I've got a fun little anecdote about therapists. I recently reconnected with my cousin and learned that she became a family therapist, got the license, her own office - it's legit. Issue is, her personal life situation would tell you she's got no clue about relationships. She's 38, with no kids and a 'hustler' boyfriend that's 10 years older than her. And her dating history is horrible too - in her twenties, she went off to NYC to study and do modeling on the side, sponsored by her dad. There, she lived the high life of being an attractive model in NYC - partying with rappers and finance bros, trips to Hamptons, yadda yadda yadda. Then, after graduating and getting an ultimatum from her dad that he won't be paying for her fun NYC life any longer, she coasted on her modeling gigs and (i'm assuming) help from boyfriends for a few years, ultimately moving back to her home country. Once back, she continued her party lifestyle for a few more years, once again paid for by her father (much cheaper than NYC). In that time, she, still being an attractive and young woman, got hit on quite often. But her main complaint was that the boys hitting on her weren't up to her standard. She set her own dad, a very successful businessman, and the NYC bros that were in her life as her standard, and well, the small town guys weren't that. In her mid to late 20s, she finally decides to lock in and stop depending on her dad by getting a job at a local bank. Focusing on her career, she grinded up to a branch manager by 30. I don't know much about her dating life in that time because my family and hers grew apart in that time, so I stopped overhearing gossip about her. Timeskip half a decade, she's single and decides to quit her job to become a yoga teacher. And finally, timeskip to now - she's a family therapist. Anyway, the reason why I'm saying all that is not to ridicule my cousin about her unfathomable fumble at life - she's not the first and she's not the last, that's just how life is, it's to tell you that this person is now a family therapist with a license that's 'helping' others work out their family issues and charging 10x (I'm not joking) average hourly wage.
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