mrvanillasky
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User ID: 3273
mrvanillasky
28d ago
Pieter Levels mentioned how much porn helped in training models kek
mrvanillasky
28d ago
Drinking adventures
Last night was my final night of drinking, I started concerta today so wanted to drink my heart away one last night. I initally wanted to meet my buddy from budapest but he did not feel comfortable drinking and driving which fair play to him is right, drunk driving kills. In India there is taboo with liquor, so drinking in front of parents is a big no no. Rajput, my caste, have a drinking culture so it is not a taboo in my family, I just dont drink much plus I am not making money so I dont wanna develop an addiction, waste my life away plus I cannot pay for liquor as my pocket money is like 100 dollars a month. I did meet the guy from budapest three days on tuesday and dranka beer in his car, not safe.
I ended up at another friend's place with another friend of mine. We finished 2/3 of a bottle of Black Dog with a bunch of sugary mixers. I consumed about 70 percent of it, I guess, maybe 60. I woke up drunk, stayed the night at his house, and ended up texting some girls.
I really do think drinking is fun. I used to look down upon it when I was in my super religious arc but it is really fun. Some of my favourite days were when I drank instead of abstaining (20 times or less I would say). Pai, the place in Thailand I was in was the best because I drank and did drugs. I really enjoy being youthful, most people reading this cannot do a bunch of what I can. Getting hammered with strangers or friends without much worries is amazing. Sadly, I will not be able to do it again for a long long time. Like being buzzed, singing in a bar with live music, dancing like a dumbass to trashy pop, befreinding strangers, being around your friends and playing right wing reactionary shit on the tv whilst buzzed, all of this is really fun.
Ofc talking to girls I dont know, cold approaching them and having encounters where I can dance like a silly little child and get them to hit on me. I grew up bereft of any female contact and India is not the west where you have a ton of pretty girls and a culture where people party as much since its neither as prosperous or as safe. But regardless, i genuinely liked doing all that. Partying is super fun, if you have your life together and are a grounded person, this stuff in moderation makes life so much better.
I missed out on a lot in my childhood, I dont wanna overcompensate but I like going out. I never drink there, I mostly only drink with friends that too rarely. There is something about blaring music and being carefree. In pai, I met this guy who was in his mid 30s and he told me that he really envied my youth and how much enthusiasm I have when I talk to people true irl. That stayed with me, I am still young, life has a lot to offer, and I will not be able to do this stuff after a while. I was always in a hurry to grow up as a child because of my family's condition and needed to make money so that I could pay off for the court cases and stuff. Life cant be lived always waiting, now I know that if I work properly, meditate and do the rest of it fine, I will do well so I should enjoy these little things.
One of my fondest memories is 10th march, 2016. I want to write more about this stuff on the next wedensday thread.
mrvanillasky
28d ago
I finally got Concerta (36 mg) but will write about it in next week's Wednesday thread.
Was listening to a bit of music recently, I used to listen to electronic music mostly, so slightly off mainstream but still sorta girly type stuff instead of techno, so electro house, liquid drum and bass, melodic hardstyle, glitch hop. I listen to a bunch of pop and pop punk now. As a teenager, I did not wanna conform so would badmouth other forms of music, that was naive.
No polo this week but I did go out drinking twice. The first was with a friend this tuesday who was in my high school and went to Budpest for uni. He was in Australia for a year and then went to Budapest, we both had a beer each in his car whilst listening to trashy Indian music lol.
Will watch once upon a time in hollywood and fight club to study Brad Pitts body language. My posture is terrible and my mannerisms are erractic, anxious, very much not what I want to be like. This and working out will do more for my attractiveness than anything else.
Also fights this weekend. I think Topuria may win, not sure. I am sure that Ankalaev will win, somewhat sure that Khamazat will win too, though robert is the best defensive wrestler since aldo and max imo. I listen to Heavy hands and mma vivisection. I also saw bivol and beterbiev, I think bivol edged it but boxing is super corrupt. I need to stop watching and caring so much about combat sports. Topuria is the ideal wrestle boxer, more boxer than anything else. He has great pocket work, is defensively sound, most importantly he is a top tier athlete. Topuria has the makings of an all time great, he has great defence whilst striking and grappling, is really good in the pocket and can flatline you with one shot. You have biological cielings in sports. There is only one giorgio petrosyan but if you are that smart you probably would not fight professionally. Ilia has great fundamentals, he gameplans well. He is defensively sound even when he is throwing, he is a good pressure fighter and max is ageing so yeah, good fight.
I ran into Rob Whittakers ex wrestling coach in chiang mai btw, he runs mat masters in Melbourne or something, mma gym. Dude is afghan and immediately asked me where in India I was from, when I told him north, Rajasthan, he immediately started speaking hindi without an accent. Afghans speak like 5 languages or something so they are really good at picking up languages. My uni is a really good public engineering one, so we would have some afghans over to study, they all picked up langauges super fast. I like afghans but the mass migration shit in europe by them is fucked up.
Regardless, he was a super nice dude. I bumped into him twice, he followed me on Instagram, introduced me to his family and told me about mma stories. So how he started in both greco and freestyle, how rob did not train at all for his ddp fight and how even though bo nickal is legitimatley a better wrestler than khamzat, he is not as well-rounded.
mrvanillasky
28d ago
tl;dr get concerta, no other form of methylphenidate, get at least 36 mg. You will need to be disciplined from there on, use the med to lead to a life where you can eventually remove the med in a few years.
I took my first pill today, it was rough but not really, in the UK you have one-year-long wait times. I went to a different psychiatrist initially for years, on and off, he would only give atomoxetine, did not do fuck all, my co-founder harangued me for concerta for days, I went to the public psychiatric hospital, and they coud not recommend drugs that were not in the in house pharmacy, went to the doctor next to it, got him to write me methylphenidate, that too just like 5 and 10 mg, went to Thailand, finally got 18 mg but stopped since I was having other issues in life and frankly felt uncomfortable asking my roommate to pay for my meds since my card did not wokr in Thailand.
Came back to India, and went to the same psychiatrist, he told me dad stupid shit like how concerta is bad and all, recommended a different psychiatrist, I went to her, she evaluated me, called me again with my parents, got the med on my third visit. Concerta is Methylphenidate exteded release, do not fuck with any other form of methylphenidate, you will need to take upwards of at least 36 mgs, take it daily in the morning, cant smoke, drink or do drugs on it. Just remember to eat a lot and on time, meditate and dont surf a ton. You will be good.
I will write a detailed summary on this soon, was initially waiting to write about this in next weeks thread. ADHD is very real, get meds, get treated fast, I wish I got this 10 years ago.
mrvanillasky
29d ago
Finally got my Concerta prescription, firs time trying 36 mgs, it's super hard to get it in India 🤗.
mrvanillasky
29d ago
Finasteride and minoxidil. See a dermatologist and don't read about the side effects. I started two years ago. Just know that once you start, you can't stop but start anyway, it's worth it. You hop on these meds even if you get a transplant so start now instead and avoid the need ea transplant.
mrvanillasky
29d ago
yep, this is despicable behavior on their part, need to be deported en masse. excessive migration is never good, especially not the low iq low skill kind.
mrvanillasky
29d ago
Nice username, plenty of people from my area serve in the army!
I am long on India because of two things that we have going for us-
- A robust democratic system
- A fairly competent political leadership
Democracy is what fucked the nation though, Kashmir was stable when jamwals had guns, it is unlivable since then. More than 80 percent of the nation actively hates upper castes. BJP or the RSS are not super competent people either,, miles ahead of everyone else but they are just less evil than other leftists but still super evil. Modi brought back the sc st act and is finance people tax the every loving fuck out of everything
Part of it is because India is difficult to understand
Yes, it is bizarre how wrong most academic here are, Indians genuinely have racial and cultural hangups with regards to the west.
I still stand by my issues with a liberal democracy, the feudal federal structure at least prevents stuff like caste voting blocks from forming, moreover you cannot assign one identity to so many people, I am not calling for the dissoluation of the state or anything, just pointing out that having a democracy is mostly bad because demographics are destiny and they will always vote on the basis of caste, and this zero sum game will have winners and losers.
Also HBD is a big concern, there is a very tiny pool fo smart people here, if you lose them all to singapore then you wont have as smart people in the next generation. Also it is inevitable that one day they will implement hardcore affirmative action in the armed forces, not today but cthullu only swims left.
Tl;Dr worked out and meditated after a while
I worked out for the first time in nearly 5 months after my partial labrum tear and weight loss. I use light weights as I want to fix my shoulder and not injure it again. I heard some weird crackling noises that happened because I did not move my right hand much under any load but that is fine. I did see my physiotherapist before going and he recommends that I take it easy on stuff that loads the shoulder directly or indirectly but can go ham on curls, anything to do with legs besides deadlifts as you hold the bar and smaller muscle groups.
I am 66 kgs at 6 foot right now. I got the injury of my own stupidity where I kept doing dumbell pullovers with a higher range of moiton than needed again and again after seeing a youtube tutorial. I will keep working out thrice a week and try to do some HIIT cycle stuff on my off days as my V02 max is in the dumpster.
Also meditated foenth first time in two months, feels heavenly.
mrvanillasky
30d ago
I'm never gonna marry for love given I actively try to see as many women as I can so I never feel scarcity ever again. Marriage is about continuing family line.
mrvanillasky
30d ago
India is run on vitriol, people want to kill the hen laying the golden eggs and you have lost all the smart people already at this point. People here vote because they actively hate others, it is not conscious but it is how it is. the govenment keeps taxing poeple more and more, gun to my head, I know what I would bet on.
mrvanillasky
30d ago
If anyone said "India for upper castes", you would have a complete and total civil war the very next day. Swedes have a far easier road for them since the migrants there are not totally baked into their society, though they cucked out hard. I lost a lot of respect for them and germany for doing what they did.
Also lovely username! I say that everytime I see it, invokes a feeling of calm.
No and having a state incentivising this stuff is wrong. Also marriage in the older sense if a union of families that preserves the culture and whatnot so I would ideally like to marry some girl who shares culture and stuff with me.
mrvanillasky
30d ago
Indians hbd potential isn't very high at all, there are se smart ones but their number goes down each year since iq is heritable. It's not just ya money thing, Bhutan is not that much better off yet safer and cleaner.
The government will never let any foreign firms make money here, despite cheap labor. They had 70 years, they chose the opposite everytime.
mrvanillasky
30d ago
Swedes can deport their problems away, India can't. Sweden is for swedes, India is for the OBCs (legal classification for shudras) and below exclusively.
There will be a civil war if the nation tries to change its founding myth, much like the heritage stock in the US, the cathedral won't want us to have a semblance of our nation back
mrvanillasky
30d ago
They don't usually understand it very much tbh. Bioleninism is a word spandrell coined, India fits the bill.
mrvanillasky
1mo ago
Not by much, Canada's issues are things us and rest of the west will face soon.
Bryan Caplan wrote a post about India. Suffice to say that India is nothing to be long on, it is a leftist anti upper caste dystopia that hates anyone and everyone who does well. Also it is 1.5 billion people, grouping them together as one is never a good idea.
I never could identify much with the indian identity because i knew for a fact that I have nothing in common with people from Tamil Nadu or Assam. Again, my case is very different because my ancestors were the rulers of this place since the beginning of cilvilisation so we get far more flak. For the curious readers of the motte, I will put up some links to help you understand why living in a democracy is not wonderful at all, especially a bioleninsit one.
You have government schemes where people get paid a million indian rupees to marry into alleged lower castes, what is even better that I cannot criticise any of it due to the sc st act where you get jailed first and the person accusing you gets paid close to a million Indian rupees within a weeks time. What is even better is politicians calling for openly seeing women of higher castes as war brides. I recommend places like desimeta and twitter where you have anon posters to get a real glimpse of what this place actually is like.
Indian on average is not smart nation, it has pockets of really smart people but the average Indian is not smart at all, never was which explains how clustering came about here, so that you could get a pocket of smart people (this is what I have been told, i might be wrong). This is also why most Indians qualify themselves hard. it is more convenient for them to believe that euros are evil stupid people who got lucky and are afraid of smart Indians taking their jobs than it is to believe that people hire Indians because of cheap labour. This is hilariously untrue, and I am not someone who is a self-hating Indian, I have to specify this again and again because I don't see many actually ever posting stuff like this or admitting that there are far far more scams being committed here or how people have genuinely shit diets and hygiene practises. most normies cannot grasp nuance, so if I ever tell people that I am Indian and the stuff wrong with my nation, they would probably think that I am like the average guy, even though the word Indian itself makes little sense given that you have many people here. But if intellectuals in places like Berkeley clump all white and black people together as one, then I cannot blame normies either.
I would say that 20 percent of the Indian expats I know are extremely talented and genuinely good people, yet at the same time India having dirt cheap labor and a culture where people hire their friends in firms that they can get a foothold in is also true. I know how most people migrate and it is usually by means that are hilariously illegal and immoral. I can understand limited migration but mass migration of any capacity is something I find evil, extremely evil. Winning in India means escaping this nation, either physically or through living in bubbles. This nation is doomed, you cannot even vote such problems out since upper castes are a minority. So if you ever see two random strangers interact where they want to get laid, you would see them talk in English for instance since that is one indirect way of communicating status, similarly, your accent and how you dress up or what your tastes are is a good indicator of this stuff.
It is bizarre for me to see people celebrate Halloween and completely forgo traditional festivals. I am 24 and this is happening at a pretty fast pace. So why exactly are people long on a country that has slowed down economically, exports its best people to the west or to fight in its armed forces and is built on extracting every drop of blood from its people, I will never know but I am not one of them neither should you be. Not admitting basic issues like the ones I listed above is the first step to actually fixing things after all.
mrvanillasky
1mo ago
I have, in saving private ryan, the cinematic scenes are in the beginning whereas in this one, they are spread throughout. For me that makes this more rewatachable, that too is a great movie, worth rewatching so good point.
mrvanillasky
1mo ago
It's got an amazing soundtrack. I uploaded photos of a vanilla sky I saw in chiang mai and the uploaded Instagram photo has the song from sigur ros in the movie that is played at the end.
Cameron Diaz also has a song there lol.
mrvanillasky
1mo ago
Movies
I recently saw a bunch of movies and recommend every single one of them. I will start off with the Oslo trilogy by Joachim Trier. It consists of three excellent movies, all set in Oslo. Triers movies are Norwegian, the dailouges are terse, heavy emphasis on visuals, everyday slice of life action. All the movies show depth of emotions, even in the little things that we feel. I recommend watching all of them IMO, even better if you watch them with a girl you like.
The worst person in the world (2021)
This is a movie girls would like quite a bit since it is the only that has a female protagonist. Becoming 30, not having a fixed career path, and feeling unsure about yourself, the themes here are very well laid out.
- Oslo, 31st August (2011)
This is the most emotionally taxing movie that I have seen in recent times. Set in the duration just one day, this movie breaks your heart, it broke my heart because I am currently in a downward spiral myself, not as bad as drugs like the protagonist but still pretty bad. Watch it, if you only watch one movie from the list, watch this one.
- Reprise (2006)
Trainspotting but with literature instead of drugs but set in norway. My favorite in terms of the joy I got out of it. It is a great slice of life coming of age movie. I love transporting, I saw it on the final day of my 10th grade exams, march 10th, 2016, that was the last time I was truly worry-free since hardcore cram schools begin in 11th. I loved the movie a lot and Reprise is similar as in its themes revolve around male friendships.
- Magnolia (1999)
fun watch, ensemble cast, Tom Cruise is amazing in there though like everyone else in the world, they make pickup artists look like caricatures but otoh, most pickup artists and most people who watch them especially back then were not cool people to be around. The themes in it are far more varied, the casting is brilliant.
- Dunkirk (2019)
The only World War 2 movie I would consider rewatching. It depicts the events of just one day, set about the extraction of soldiers stuck in Dunkirk France. Chris Nolan is an amazing director, this is his only war movie. I was surprised when Quentin Tarantino rated it so highly since I had not seen it, I get what he meant now.
- The Hustler (1961)
This is based on a novel of the same name, the novel was recommend by Todd Valentine, one of the worlds best dating coach, someone who played soccer, poker, chess at decently high levels. Cool watch, first black and white I have ever seen.
- Color of money (1986)
Sequel to The Hustler, with Paul Newman and Tom Cruise now being the hotheaded pool prodigy who is hustling people. It is directed very well and gives a decent send off to the arc that began in The Hustler.
- Deadpool and Wolverine (2024)
All movies cannot be good after, a movie that you have to be 18 to watch, 15 if you wanna enjoy it and 30 if you want ti understand all the pop culture references, can skip if you want to in all honesty. I liked the cameos somewhat, so Chris Evans as the Human Torch with this thick Boston accent or Channing Tatum as Gambit with this over-the-top Cajun accent.
I will halt my movie-watching spree now since I know way too many people who just watch movies all day. After a while the sloth sets in, it happened to me too so I will try to watch less. Ideally, I will keep reading and meditating more alongside taking actions. Still here are some movies I want to watch or rewatch
Once upon a time in Hollywood - Brad Pitts body language is something I want to embody, that is the main reason for rewatching it, I saw in theatres 5 years ago, great movie
Boogie Nights, Fight Club and maybe a few more, I have not seen boogie nights so yeah.
mrvanillasky
1mo ago
I will narrow my reading focus down, trying to just read and having 20 books open is not very fun for a green new reader like me. I will read Petersons 12 rules for life and post a review of it. I will read more stuff similar to what he writes, what was recommended to me by you guys, The Now Habit I mean, stuff that will help me understand my issues and have some actionable advice I can implement.
Besides movies, I had just been chilling, I unfortunately started surfing the internet a little bit since I was free but it just makes me angry as opposed to reading which makes you feel better. Like most weekends when its not hot, there will be polo matches being played in my city.
My family gets season invites to polo matches here. The current his highness of my city plays for the national team and since hs grandfather himself played it quite a bit, the polo season here is far better than anywhere else in India. The matches are barely one hour and after that we all proceed for high tea. I go to these matches since they give me an excuse to leave my house. There is not much to be done here. The sport is scary, you fall from horses and can get trampled over. I would love to play it a little bit once I am not broke lol.
My parents also took a weekend away from my house and I am super happy about that. They are in Bikaner, my dad was invited to the all India political science conference or something. My ma likes travelling like most women would but because of property disputes, we have super distant relatives illegally squatting in a portion of our house (besides the fort, I fucking hate India man). My dad is a total couch potato so this is their first trip alone in years that too came about because of the large conference. Not related to me but does make me happy that they went out.
mrvanillasky
1mo ago
Is it just me or is the upvote button broken? If I click on an upvote, the color won't change, so I can't tell if it has been upvoted.
mrvanillasky
1mo ago
I still wasted most of my time, I still can redeem myself so there's that.
I have zero shame with how I treat women now. My past self would text them from a distance thinking that they were angelic creatures, believed in the Madonna/whore complex.
For most of my life, I always had these debilitating one sided crushes on girls, I left Instagram because of one. I met way better looking girls and can never go back to thinking that way. It's fun to meet a girl, a complete stranger and vibe with her, have a point where both of us find each other attractive and go back home or maybe not since I didn't do that with most girls.
Most of this was stuff I only saw in movies, recreating way better versions of it was very fun. I'm not saying these girls were like model tier but some were.
My closest friends are not like me, they're bland career people now and frankly I can't talk to them without getting some of my startup stuff fixed, but in ways I'm happy they found stability.
I dont read the manoshphere lol, it is mostly bitter people who never actually approach girls but just sit on the sidleines and pontificate about how high vlaue they are.
got me there
I meant more in a carefree sense where people around me are able to do this stuff. Growing older brings more responsibilities. So I appreciate being in these environments around people. I dont get hammered routinely, i drink far far less freuqnently than almost everyone I know, my appreciation comes primiarly due to the environment.
Yeah, I need to fix a bunch of issues beforehand
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