justawoman
1yr ago
I don't see how calling all women lying, indecisive, immature, unfunny children isn't misogyny, and more than calling all men sexually frustrated chimps isn't misandrist. The posters here may not hate me, yes, but as I said earlier, I believe when engaging with people who find you biologically inferior to them, the most charitable interpretation of your arguments will be with pity or amusement. If my argument is sound, it is not because my reasoning or logics are sound, but because putting a monkey in a room with a typewriter for an infinite amount of time will cause him to inevitable smash out the works of Shakespeare or, a broken clock is right twice a day, because I am a woman, and things like rationally arguing doesn't come naturally according to posters here, so I either learned it from a man or I have too much testosterone in my system. Not hate, yes, but certainly not a positive sentiment.
Do you have evidence that all men don't want to be with someone they respect earnestly? Because I disagree; I think all people want to be with someone that makes them happy, and being with someone you think will be unfaithful for no reason than their biology sound a bit paranoid and miserable to me.
justawoman
1yr ago
It is interesting to me that you find more offense at anecdotal generalizations about conservatives than anecdotal generalizations about women. I take generalizations as insults here because the baseline for evidence is subjective anecdotes, which is far from the "leave you identity at the door and deal with the facts" discourse I would prefer.
I announced myself as a woman because I do not trust that a man here who disagrees with me, upon finding out I am a woman, won't instantly discredit my arguments as some side effect of being a woman.
justawoman
1yr ago
Well, when I glance at Islamic countries, I see a national social crisis because women are being arrested and beaten to death for not wearing a head scarf properly. I don't know if theocratic authoritarian Islamic countries are the epitome of any healthy civilization, much less the epitome of what marriage and parenting is like.
I do know that being trans in not a choice, because gender dysphoria is a medical condition, not a lifestyle choice.
justawoman
1yr ago
Then why use absolute statements about women if you don't mean to use absolute statements. Saying "men are funnier than women" is saying, in my opinion, "I am funnier than you." Saying "some men are funnier than women" or "most men are funnier than women" seems to be, in my opinion, more aligned with what I see you are trying to communicate.
justawoman
1yr ago
Then why not use "most men are taller than women" instead of "men are taller than women"?
justawoman
1yr ago
Because the 10% exists at all means an 11% can exist, and therefore a 12%, and so on. Thus, it is not biologically set in stone, and thus men and women who deviate from Western gender norms are not deviants brainwashed by feminism, but simply expressing natural instincts. The culture of social conservatism versus the culture of social progressivism I would argue is so vastly different that, well, you have the existence of transgendered folks fighting against people who think they are mentally ill. The fact that there are trans women who successfully pass in public defeats the argument that women and men have unchanging traits that make them inherently different, as Western gender roles would have one believe.
justawoman
1yr ago
My father was also conservative, as was his father. I am sharing my opinions on social conservatism and the effects it has on parents and children based on my anecdotal evidence, which is that I have yet to meet a daughter of a conservative father I did not consider nor failed to witness as I described earlier, to include myself. I had a great deal of internalized misogyny which manifested into self hatred because, of many things, my father punished me for stepping outside of my gender binary and made my natural instincts and desires feel wrong. My brother is severely emotionally stunted because my father adhered to Western concepts of masculinity which encourages stoicism over vulnerability.
I am not too sure how it is any more objectively "dunking on my outgroup" to say these things than the many men here who have made antagonistic statements about women based on *their * anecdotal evidence. Subjectively, though, I can understand the reactions to my opinions, although I am not too sure what "defending the honor of our gender" means. I speak for no woman except for myself, because I believe the only thing you and I have in common (assuming you are a woman from "we") by us both being women is similar biological functions. I pushback against broad generalization of both men and women, because I find both to be equally capable of everything sans some physical capabilities which can be remedied with science.
justawoman
1yr ago
Based on their gender? No. But yes, I believe that the parenting style advocated by social conservatives is inherently emotionally (ex: shaming children for stepping outside of the gender binary), verbally (ex: it is suitable to tell children you want to be quiet to be "seen and not heard") and physically (ex: spanking) abusive, and therefore people raised in a conservative household are victims of abuse, and people who raise children in a conservative household are abusers, although the rate at which the abuse is a) deliberate and b) realized varies. I don't think most conservatives and therefore people *want * to abuse or be abused, but it is an unfortunate side effect of the tenets of social conservatism.
justawoman
1yr ago
You say all of this is easy...and yet if I got pregnant tomorrow, I would not be able to make enough money in nine months to pay for my child's daycare, clothing, food, and my own needs. I would have to surrender my child to the state, because I would also have medical debt on top of that for the not-free doctors I would have to see while pregnant, unless I wanted to avoid doctors and attempt to induce a miscarriage by negligence, which could be life threatening to me or hurt my fertility. You say interstate travel is incredibly cheap, but the amount of money required to move myself from a one-bedroom apartment to anywhere else is far from cheap for my wages.
So, I am not too sure where "you don't prioritize having children" comes in.
justawoman
1yr ago
Do you think telling me you think I am playing dumb and lying about my beliefs to be civil?
justawoman
1yr ago
Servers making $20 - $50 an hour is so rare I have never met a server IRL who has made that money consistently and instead on a handful of holidays throughout the year. Tips, in my opinion, are compliments by customers to their servers, not gambling percentages meant to help owners from paying livable wages. It creates a hostile relationship between the customer and the server.
Working for a bad boss is inevitable, I agree, but I believe living in a state with strong labor laws gives you more options to respond to that than what I found here, which is "suck it up" or "quit and get no unemployment". It prevents bad managers and owners from ruining their own businesses with high turnover rates - and therefore ruining the income of multiple people - by having laws that protect employees in hostile work environments.
I'm glad you were able to find help easily. It's not the same for others in my experience.
There is generally a high cost in my opinion as someone who has lived in 4 states. The only reason my family was able to move was because my father had a high-paying career that allowed us to rent out all the necessary services to successfully move a family. I am considering in having children what my freedoms are in terms of movement. What if a state passes hostile laws that force me to relocate?
There is no way to confirm, yes, and there will always be something to get in order, but there are fundamental problems with patience, kindness and positivity that are a result of growing up with incredibly negative and angry parents who constantly fought because their social conservatism told them women were children, men were rapists, marriage counselors were quacks and divorce was admitting weakness. I definitely have checkpoints I intend to reach in emotional maturity before I deal with the emotions of another person, much less my children.
justawoman
1yr ago
I can confidently say for a majority of births from people who can't afford children comes from impulsive sex without birth control due to poor judgement, improper use of birth control due to poor education, the cycle of poverty (which yes, would be traditionally poor people giving up hope of saving money to move out of their class), or the same shitty fairy that comes out of that 0.1 percentile to strike at horny lovers. If I could have as many children as I wanted and support them all and myself, what's to stop me from having 19? I could start an entire dynasty.
justawoman
1yr ago
Yes! I think that a world like that would be wonderful, and I would likely have many more children than I plan to have. Maybe have them forever. The life of Julia is a life that had a robust system of safeties designed to help her when she fails and when she suceeds, such as healthcare coverage until she turns 26 to help with sudden medical emergencies and programs like Head Start to protect her from the effects of abusive parents. If any of these government programs actually forced Julia to do something she didn't want to do, I would agree that The Life of Julia promotes a "nanny" state, but nowhere did I see any federal agency or legislation that forced Julia to make a life choice. I see, in fact, Julia has many more choices and freedoms given to her with the strong social safety net I believe those programs provide.
justawoman
1yr ago
Well, if I "left" I would just go back to lurking, and if I left in a huff I would be very silly to as I have been here long enough to know what the response to my beliefs will be and if I was not prepared for them I should not have made an account. I am quite sincere, but I understand your reasoning. I do, however, struggle to respond if people do not directly reply and can miss their responses, am not in the mood to respond to some posters, and sometimes forget if I look at a response on my phone and I'm interrupted.
justawoman
1yr ago
No?
justawoman
1yr ago
I absolutely agree with your final sentence. Anecdotally, I never said a single word in /r/TheRedPill, and yet through sheer lurking, I found myself so thoroughly redpilled I was asking men on that forum what I should do as a woman to make men happy since I was so naturally prone to pissing them off. Those ghostly eyes watching us are always watching, after all. I like to think here we share counterarguments. If they are good or bad ones depends on those everwatchful lurkers.
justawoman
1yr ago
No, I am not done with ya'll. I just don't know what you mean by "wait and see".
justawoman
1yr ago
Yes. My state has terrible labor laws put in place by Republicans and upheld by Republicans. One of those labor laws allows businesses to substitutes tips for wages, and in the 10 jobs I have had in this state, 5 of them supplicated my wages with tips. I find that type tipping culture present in a company to be extraordinarily indicative of a corrupt and unethical business owner, and with the knowledge 50% of my jobs had corrupt and unethical business owners, it makes me nervous to lose my job and have to find a new one in a state where I have a 50/50 chance of having a boss who will try to sabotage my work/life balance with unethical and corrupt decisions.
And yes, I find the existence of the Republican party as an active threat to the safety of everyone, including my future children I very much want to have. I am, no kidding, the 57th great-great granddaughter of the first king of Norway, and it would be a shame to end the royal line.
justawoman
1yr ago
Well, I would have to disagree. I have an IQ of 110 and I don't consider those around me with a lower number inferior to me intelligently.
justawoman
1yr ago
I suppose the disconnect is that where you see shame, I don't. If my study buddy randomly asked me to have sex with him with no basis of platonic or romantic intimacy, I would totally tell my friends about it, because I like to tell my friends about weird things that happen in my day, not because I have this notion I must socially shame my study buddy so he doesn't make other girls uncomfortable. There are some girls out there who don't feel the need to tell their friends about things like this, and so in another world OP's example wouldn't even be complaining. OP's example and the study girl were not friends, and she felt no obligation to keep their matters private. It happens, and I believe is not indicative that there is a grand narrative being fed to myself and other women and more indicative that OP severely misjudged his entire study group and how close they were.
justawoman
1yr ago
If you think I am playing dumb and lying, I am confused about the tone of conversation your response has. Why would you want someone who you think is playing games to respond to you?
I suppose if the true goal is numbers, your proposition would work. But I consider fertility to include "successfully raising children into adulthood so they have more children". If people are having kids, but their children are dying early due to poor health standards and abuse, is that raising the fertility?
justawoman
1yr ago
I do think there are other women that think that all women are better at makeup, parenting, nursing, etc, due to biological preferences and yes, I think it is disrespectful to men to imply that they are incapable of certain things because of their bodies. I think all men and women are capable of exactly the same things emotionally and spiritually, sans physical capabilities due to hormonal differences which can be remedied with science.
I am making it all about myself because I am a woman, and every generalized comment about women is therefore directed at me. When you say men are funnier than women, you are also saying you are funnier than me, for no other reason than because of your body. The "big deal" of you holding that opinion is that I find it's a rather illogical and mean one, and tells me you have rather poor judgement, and also if I were to meet you in real life, I should avoid trying to be funny with you and people who agree with you because you will be hostile to all of my jokes in the company of other men. You have yet to provide me any evidence men are funnier than women other than your belief. If I think men and women can be equally funny because humor is not a physical trait, does that make it trounce yours because I believe it more than you? I'd say no.
I don't know exactly how to engage with absolute statements, which are neither statistically or personally relevant. People here make big claims about women - and therefore me - with little evidence other than personal anecdotes. Your characterization of people just saying "my" group "might" not be good at things is rather charitable for statements that literally call me indecisive, immature, emotional and illogical.
justawoman
1yr ago
I would argue the gender binary is a construct, since the definition of masculinity and femininity are different in certain cultures, like Japan and Korea. Therefore, since it is a construct, it is arbitrary. Therefore, the elimination of the male gender role is a good thing, because it stops men from being bullied and shamed into habits and mannerisms that are not natural to them, since not all men act the same nor have the same preferences.
justawoman
1yr ago
Trans people encounter negative outcomes from social conservatives attempting to enforce a gender binary, so if I wanted to protect my trans children from transphobia, I ought to keep them away from social conservatives, not ko-tow to them. I can do nothing about my children being trans, because it is not a choice. And if my children were not trans, social conservatives would emotionally and verbally abuse them for stepping outside of the gender binary. My sons would grow up misogynistic with little success with women, emotionally closed off from himself, his friends and his family, abusive (see misogyny) and lonely like I have seen every single conservative son of conservative parents turn out as. My daughter would have poor self esteem, be victim to abusive relationships due to that, anger issues and extreme emotional immaturity, like every conservative daughter of a conservative father I have seen.
I disagree. You cannot take seriously someone who you think is dumber than you, because if their argument is sound, it is not because you think their reasoning is sound or their character, but that they got lucky enough to say a smart thing.
But women are not a monolithic religion like Islam. They have their own individual preferences that vary between eachother. For example, I think PUA stuff does universally not work, and...where am I supposed to go with "describing behaviors they like in men"? How are you able to tell I am lying about what kind of man I like by the basis I am a woman? Do you have objective evidence to show women are typically lying about something as fundamentally as what they like?
"Sane" and "healthy", in my opinion, fall under "not being with someone who thinks you should be subservient to them or they should be subservient to you". A sexist is not a sane, healthy person. Does your wife know that you think, explicitly, she should be subservient to you?
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