Silver
☥
Just a 32-year old lad from Eastern Europe, trying to do his best.
User ID: 112
Silver
☥
2yr ago
I don't think this is a good topic to discuss because there is no objective way to look at things. You value human life very highly, I value a reduction in suffering as higher. This is all subjective opinion, you can't quantify either of those 2 things in a scientific way.
So any possible arguments are going to exist merely to manipulate observers into this or that camp.
Silver
☥
2yr ago
how do i bring back focus again on my goals and also be able to talk to this person that i am not very casual about?
Ooh, I remember asking myself this exact question 12 years ago when I had a huge crush. I remember thinking "If only I could speak to my future self, he'd have all the answers."
Well, I'm sorry to say but there doesn't seem to be a cure for unrequited love. I haven't discovered or come across anything that would have solved the problem at the time. The good news is pretty much everybody goes through this. So most likely, you won't be judged too harshly for the stupid things you might do.
The least harmful advice I can think of, is to tell her soon-ish so that she shoots you down and your normal life can resume sooner. More brooding will not lead to a better outcome.
Silver
☥
2yr ago
Should I explore religion, philosophy, meditation or... something else? Readings or other media suggestions are welcome.
I suggest doing guided meditation for 20-30min a day, first thing in the morning. The main upside is that if it doesn't do anything for you, you won't have lost much time or money. I like Tara Brach personally: https://www.tarabrach.com/guided-meditations/.
Here's the best forum regarding meditation I've come across: https://old.reddit.com/r/streamentry/
You could also listen to Alan Watts, he has a ton of free lectures on youtube. Example: https://youtube.com/watch?v=d9x-XVbsoDA
Probably won't magically give your life the meaning you're looking for but he has a delightful diction and attitude towards things.
I lack a "male archetype", a guide, a mentor, and I'm just going adrift without a map, without principles, not only that: I've never learned to interact with other males and I found friendship with women nice but unsatisfying on a visceral level, the only time where I approximated a male "friendship" was during Physics Labs in University and it was deeply refreshing.
You could talk to the people on the ssc discord channel about random things until you find someone you can relate to. Here's a link: https://discord.gg/pfTYphx
I'd suggest asking people here, on lesswrong and other rationalist forums about hobbies you're interested in. The vast majority of users here are reasonable, intelligent adults who I wouldn't mind having as a friend.
Videogames are an obvious way to make friends; for example something chill and relaxing like Civ 5 or 6. Or any coop game.
Books are another obvious one, people love talking about their favorite fiction. See https://old.reddit.com/r/rational/ for examples.
You could look at meetups on lesswrong to find people near you and ask them individually for recreational activities IRL.
Does anyone have close motte-like friends? How did you make them?
I met my best friend while playing World of Warcraft. This was when he was about 11 years old and I was 13. He died earlier this year from Covid, at the age of 28 so I knew him for most of his life. We generally talked about new and relevant topics such as crypto, movies, technology, etc. and regularly played videogames together.
In hindsight, that was incredibly lucky though. It seems there are a thousand NPCs (for lack of a better term) for any one worthwhile person. Hence why I suggest using these kinds of forums; they're already full of high-quality individuals.
Silver
☥
2yr ago
You can't make Galadriel, Gandalf or Tom Bombadil the main character in any kind of hero journey - it's too late, the journey is over for them. A story about them is a fundamentally different thing and probably too niche to justify the price tag.
Have you read Beware of Chicken (https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/39408/beware-of-chicken)? Or the One Punch Man manga or animated series? Because they're what you just described and I think they work really, really well. I found them immensely entertaining.
I've been a silent part of this forum (and its predecessor) from pretty much its inception. And up to this point, I just saw it as a funny comedy kind of thing. "Haha, what will the silly clowns in the US do next?", "Oh, that black rapper said what about the jews?" etc.
But this is not comedy. This is something involving real people. I've been living under the weight of suicidal depression for the past 15 years. This girl? That could have been me. It could have been my sister. There is a non-zero number of people who have been forcefully put into insane asylums. And that decision, to put someone into a room with nothing to do for years or decades (torture imo) or euthanasia is mostly decided by this kind of discussion. An entirely subjective discussion based on nothing concrete that will impact real people in real and horrible ways.
You're familiar with the witch trials, right? This is that level of discussion, with that level of consequences. I don't want to be a part of this.
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