HereAndGone
23hr ago
These people are nuts but I think it goes something like "animals innocent and good, humans wicked and blameworthy". Sort of a Seven Kill Stele vibe.
HereAndGone
23hr ago
What I'm saying is "work hard and get promoted" is not happening, because they don't want to promote you, because that would mean they have to pay you more. Get the work and responsibility without paying the salary is the goal.
I think there's a wide range of job experiences amongst the commenters here, and what kind of jobs you have/had and how you got them vary greatly. Middle-class kids of middle-class parents who always worked middle-class jobs are going to have different experience of "this is how you get a job, this is how you negotiate conditions", etc. from people whose experience, and the experience of their family, has always been "there's no 'negotiating', there's 'take it or leave it'".
Funnily enough, I was thinking about this in the context of a family member. Worked for someone who was the first millionaire in our area (and this was back when a million was Real Money). Started off with after-school job as a kid, worked there for years. Hard-working, responsible, reliable. Employer (and employer's family) depended on him for a lot. When employer eventually retired and sold off the business, my family member was made redundant. After years of "hey, guy, can you collect my daughter from the airport/drive me to the city/other tasks outside the job", what did he get? The bare legal minimum of statutory redundancy, which was not a whole heap, and not a penny extra. And they would have avoided paying even that if possible. Because they were miserly, miserable, pennypinchers who took advantage of his good nature and willingness to "go above and beyond".
So yeah: slack off, Gen Z, slack off!
HereAndGone
1d ago
Funny how this could also be used to summarise the men without women vs. women without men Thanos-snapping thought experiment you described. The outcome of the first would be depressing but life otherwise goes on.
You had to do it. You had to make me link to The Crime and Glory of Commander Suzdal.
HereAndGone
1d ago
What's really funny is now GLP-1 drugs have made it a simple matter of adhering to an injection schedule, so these difficult conversations need not happen.
hollow laughter
I wish it worked like that. I'm on one for nearly a year now. Helps with the blood sugar levels, but nothing about weight. I'm around the same weight as ever (and it takes me effort to maintain that and not balloon up).
The magical "you won't feel hungry, you will feel full, it helps with all sorts of willpower, weight just drops off" results? I'm not seeing any of them.
Never have with any drugs that were supposed to be "and a side-effect is weight loss". One time I was on some medication and the doctor laughingly said "one patient I prescribed this to lost so much weight, he had to come off it". "Won't be a problem with me", I replied, and it wasn't, because no. goddamn. drugs. stop. me. feeling. hungry.
The only time, the only time, I lose even a small amount of weight is when I am literally too sick to eat anything and it's hard even to keep down water. Again, for one of those times, I went to the doctor (for antibiotics) and they did a routine blood sugar test because I had all the shaky symptoms, and the nurse made me eat something to bring up my blood sugar because it was too low to measure. In fact, I couldn't even eat the chocolate biscuit she gave me, so they had to dig out an energy drink.
I still remain embarrassingly fat.
The drugs don't work, indeed.
Just my experience, but I've found if you go "above and beyond", you're not going to be recognised or even thanked. Hey, you want to do extra free labour for me? Great, go right ahead, dummy!
So there's a point between "punch the clock, leave on the dot" and "be first in and last out doing unpaid work". Do what needs to be done, if more needs to be done then do it, but don't make a habit of working for nothing for extra, because nobody will thank you for the hours you turned up and put in unasked.
EDIT: As I said, I started working during 80s recession Ireland so that was perhaps a peculiarly bad time, but one piece of advice we used to get about jobseeking was "offer to work for nothing!" The idea was "employer gives you a chance, you demonstrate how good you are, employer is impressed and hires you on full time".
Need I say it didn't work out like that? One job in particular I remember, I was young and dumb enough to try this out. They were quite happy for me to work there two months dong the job for free, but the minute I asked about "so, any chance of paid employment?" it was "uh, no, sorry, you don't have the qualifications for this work, bye!" That, despite the fact that I had been doing that exact job with no complaints about "you're untrained, you're unqualified" up till then.
I suppose nowadays this goes under internships: be happy to work for the exposure and to get experience in the industry. Paid? For doing the work we'd have to hire someone to do? Don't be silly! (and again, as in the 80s, 'if you don't want this, there's plenty more waiting to take the offer').
HereAndGone
2d ago
But I make half what I could be earning in a less interesting position, and the desirability means there was a lot of competition to get here, so everyone around me is extremely competent and extremely passionate. This is great in many ways, but means I live in a constant state of anxiety trying to keep up with coworkers who all seem better at their jobs than me.
That has been my cynical view of the "make your passion your work" urgings. Get people who really want to do this job, are very good at this job, and love this job, to work for you for half nothing and not rock the boat because they love the work and think it is really important that it gets done.
All a part of the employee management bullshit about 'avoid paying actual real money, which will cost you, to your stupid workers but instead incentivise the boobs by pats on the head like 'employee of the month' and crap like that which looks like you appreciate them but costs you nothing'.
Then again I started in the world of work during the 80s so cynicism galore there, not the day-glo happy 90s 😊
HereAndGone
2d ago
Gosh, who knew? Thanks for revealing the secrets of the wicked popish plots to me! Praised be the Reformation, for undoing such things! 😁
HereAndGone
2d ago
Byron had a different view of it, but then again he was Byron. From "Don Juan":
Man’s love is of man’s life a thing apart,
’Tis woman’s whole existence; man may range
The court, camp, church, the vessel, and the mart;
Sword, gown, gain, glory, offer in exchange
Pride, fame, ambition, to fill up his heart,
And few there are whom these cannot estrange;
Men have all these resources, we but one,
To love again, and be again undone.
I think there's a simpler explanation for the demise of the Promise Keepers than wicked feminist scheming: it's religion, Jake.
As a religiously-based and affiliated organisation, it was never going to get traction in the mainstream. And within its own little sphere, later on new fads came along and this faded. Anybody else remember the foofarah around Purity Rings and Purity Balls and the rest of it? They may still be going, but it's years now since I read shocked denunciations of the incestuous vibe of it all on social media.
Re: the Duluth model, I had to look this up and by the Wikipedia article it's been much criticised. I'd be a tiny bit more sympathetic about your complalnt there, save that I read this story in the news very recently. Ex-partner attacks woman with axe, sets fire to house, drowns himself. "Why this foolish notion that women are at risk from men?" you ask, and I point to this. Except for some guys who really are walking around with "I'm trouble" labelled on their face, how do you know that if you take up with Joe and then break up with Joe, Joe is not going to try and axe-murder you? It's a gamble!
HereAndGone
2d ago
I followed through that part of the link to see what was going on. Again, laughing my sides off at the social worker and foster parent all ready to get up in arms over EVIL FUNDIE PARENTS when it's the girl herself who insisted on heading off to serve God (and pretty clearly is from another world/dimension, not our own).
Sure. Conservatives bad, we get it 😁
HereAndGone
3d ago
I know, kids have been putting up fake "sure I totally am 18" on the age questions forever. But a 14 year old able to go on Grindr and hook up with a 29 year old (allegedly) who then murders them and dismembers the body after sex is just that step too far. It may all be in vain, and the kiddies will continue to jump merrily over the stile, but I still want the stile to be there.
HereAndGone
3d ago
That's clear, then.
HereAndGone
3d ago
Sometimes I have to shrug and go "I have no idea how the hell this is working, but obviously it is".
HereAndGone
3d ago
Sometimes when people are yelling hard about how oppressed they are, it's very tempting to wish they were, in fact, getting as oppressed as they claim to be.
No, I'm not wishing genocide on the Zizians. But given that they seem to have no problems murderating people to get what they want, a little murderation would be "turn about is fair play". Not going to happen, because we are civilised unlike them, which is all to the good.
But pointing out that "look, if we really were genociding self-proclaimed trans persons, you guys would be in the Top Five of the Top Ten of the list and since you are getting the benefit of a trial, not to mention able to shriek in performative outrage about starving to death because you're not getting vegan meals to your liking in jail, that genociding is clearly not happening" can be a useful corrective.
HereAndGone
3d ago
The son of the local feudal lord, in that case, was kept in line by economic dependence on the family patriarch(he didn't own anything), who just had to pick a stool pigeon smart enough not to bite the hand that feeds(that is, to never disobey, ever, for personal gain) and treat them well.
Weirdly, it might have been done precisely to keep assets in the family in case of divorce. "Oh, sorry honey, you thought you were going to get 50% of everything? In fact I don't personally own anything, it's all family trust/business assets, so good luck with that!"
(I'd been binging a lot of dumb Youtube 'revenge stories' and a couple of these have that exact set-up: wronged wife gets wind that hubby intends to leave her without a penny, steal her assets, and set up with new snookums so she lawyers up in secret and transfers everything into a trust/years back before they got married put everything into the business name so the house, cars, etc. are all technically business assets that they have the use of).
Local feudal lord arranges it so blood kin have the use of houses, cars, bank accounts and so forth, but if greedy spouses try to despoil them in a divorce, they end up with nothing since technically the married kids own nothing. Kids know that when Father kicks the bucket, they'll inherit, so they have no incentive to go against this arrangement. If they do end up getting divorced, they know they'll lose nothing.
HereAndGone
3d ago
I honestly don't see how "trans woman killed by her boyfriend" included in stats about anti-trans/hate crime are going to do anything. Same for the traffic accidents: will we get lessons on how not to drive like a transphobe? The only reason there is to inflate numbers.
HereAndGone
3d ago
The interesting thing seems to be that for the trans population as a whole, while it's the white people who make the most noise about it, the majority are going to be BIPOC and poor(er) and hence the sex work. Rather the same dispute as about gayness (wealthy white men are presumed to be the majority, this is not so) or feminism (the whole breaking away of mujerismo, womanism and black feminism in response to the same complaints about 'middle-class white women are not representation').
HereAndGone
3d ago
We're not supposed to notice that, and if we do, it's the fault of Society:
we include those cases where bias, hate, and structural violence and stigma played a role in the killing of individuals, including indirectly through fostering the conditions in which the death occurred (e.g. if a person was killed while engaging in survival sex work, after being pushed out of the formal economy).
But indeed, a lot of the "and the victim was standing on a street at one o'clock in the morning" or "found dead in alleyway/parking lot" do sound like sex work, which is and has always been dangerous, whether you're gay, straight, cis or trans.
HereAndGone
3d ago
I don't expect to convince anyone, just blow some of the smoke away so we can see how big the fire is. The ones where it's (for instance) the 14 year old are very sad and again GODDAMN IT GRINDR HAVE SOME STANDARDS EVEN IF YOU ARE A DEPRAVED HOOKUP SITE FOR PERVERTS but there's always going to be the problem of kids pretending to be older than they really are in order to get around restrictions.
Really, it's just "no, there is not in fact an epidemic of violence out there". 'Former partners kill their female partners' has been going on forever and a day, this time it's just 'even if it's trans female' nowadays.
HereAndGone
4d ago
Ah, that's the update I didn't get. Yeah, a lot of these cases can't be "the victim was killed for being trans" because one, at least, the aggressor was upset because he didn't want the relationship to end and already knew the person was trans. Several of them are former partner, so again it's "knew the person was trans".
What boggles my mind is the hit-and-runs. Someone gets knocked down in a routine kind of traffic accident such as happens hundreds of times, but this is judged societal forces of violence that disproportionately affect minorities or something? I do not get any rationale behind including these, apart from "the demand for hate crimes outstrips supply" so they need to pump up the numbers.
"Two people murdered for no reason but being trans" over two years is a lot less impressive than "thirty-six people killed!"
HereAndGone
4d ago
Not in the one I found, the guy still got convicted. And there was another case where it was tried as a defence, same result. Gay panic/trans panic seems to be no longer deemed acceptable.
I’m putting the descriptions in quotation marks because I’m taking them as-is from the website, sometimes the people involved used different names or gender identities.
Deaths that occurred in 2023:
Amiri Reid “a Black trans woman” and Kejuan Richardson “a gender-expansive gay Black man” (I’m putting these two together because they happened at the same time). Shot while driving around by Jorezno Philips. Motive: unknown, suspect committed suicide before he could be arrested. Could be personal quarrel with either or both, could be crime-related, could just be ‘picked a target at random and started shooting’. Hard to say it is specifically anti-trans hate crime unless he knew either or both of them, and we don’t know that.
Jean Butchart, “26 year old white transgender man, fatally shot in a mobile home park duing a series of violent incidents”. Exactly what it says there, except the shooter didn’t specifically go after Butchart: he got into an “altercation” with a resident of the park, came back days later with a gun and started shooting at them, and Butchart appears to have been collateral damage.
Savannah Ryan Williams, “38-year-old Cuban and Native transgender woman”. This one probably is trans-related, because the killer’s defence was “trans panic” (after having sex, he shot this person).
Meghan Riley-Lewis, “57-year-old transgender woman”. This one is odd, because it might be? Or might not be? Lewis was shot by a food delivery driver who claimed he acted in self-defence because Lewis attacked him for misgendering her. Yeah. This one is a toss-up.
Amber Minor, “40-year-old Black trans woman”. Investigation is ongoing, since the deceased was found shot dead in the driveway. Most coverage is about the police department deadnaming her, so clearly it wasn’t immediately obvious this person was trans. So with no arrest, no idea what the motive was.
Deaths that occurred in 2024:
Kitty Monroe, “43-year-old Latine transgender person”, went by male birth name as well as female trans identity. Killed in fatal hit and run. Sister claims Monroe had been attacked previously for their gender identity. Motive? Unknown: “Family members said police have informed them Lugo was accidentally struck by multiple vehicles after a black Ford F-150 appears to have purposely hit him following a fight near the Casa de Licores liquor store.” So maybe revenge for the fight, maybe for being trans, who knows?
Righteous “TK” Chevy Hill, “35-year-old Black transman”. Mother alleges it was a cousin who shot him, so probably that was the motivation (you have to read down a bit in this article, but the cousin seems to have been a deadbeat that Hill was helping out, but pushed his luck too far and Hill told him to get lost and that kicked it off).
Diamond Brigman, “a Black 26-year-old trans woman”. Killed while standing on the side of the road by a guy who drove up, got out, and shot her. Arrested but no motive given. So was it for being trans, did the suspect know her, what?
Alex Franco, “21-year-old transgender man”. This one is sort of sad but again, more likely to be stupid gang shit than transphobia. Victim knew or was ‘friends of friends’ with these kids, was allegedly going to buy a gun off them and they allegedly intended to rob him, and ended up shot dead.
Meraxes Medina, “24-year-old Latina transgender woman”. Murdered by unknown suspect who is wanted for murder of two sex workers. So again, more to do with streetwalker prostitution being dangerous.
África (Emma) Parrilla García, “ 25-year-old transgender woman”, found shot on street in Puerto Rico, deadnamed at first so very scanty details. No idea as to who or why behind the killing.
Tee “Lagend Billions” Arnold, “a 36-year-old Black transgender man”. Shot outside bowling alley at 1:30 a.m. Female suspect who knew him is wanted. Might be for reasons to do with disputes/quarrels, as he claimed there was a price on his head.
River Nevaeh Goddard, 17 year old white non-binary person (she/they pronouns). Seems to have been killed in a domestic dispute by boyfriend with mental health issues. Another sad story but you can’t call it anti-trans or hate crime.
Andrea Doria Dos Passos, “a 37-year-old transgender woman”. Homeless at the time, beaten to death while sleeping on the street. Guy who did it clearly a loon of some sort, motive unknown.
Sasha Williams, “36-year-old multiracial transgender woman”, stabbed in the street by a guy later arrested and charged. Mental health issues on his part, no motive known.
Starr Brown, “a Black transgender woman” but who also seems to have gone by/been known by birth name. Shot by co-worker while driving home after work (passenger in co-worker’s car which was later found crashed with the body inside). No motive given but it’s unlikely to have been due to transgender identity.
Kita Bee, “a 46-year-old transgender Black woman”, killed in hit-and-run. Seems to have been ordinary traffic accident, no other reason.
Reyna Hernandez,” a 54-year-old Latina transgender woman”. Killed by an allegedly abusive ex-partner after she called on him to finalise the breakup; he shot her then drove the body to Mexico and left it tied to a tree in a cemetery. Again, good old-fashioned domestic violence rather than trans hate crime.
Brandon “Tayy Dior” Thomas, “a 17-year-old Black transgender girl”. Another murder by boyfriend.
Michelle Henry, “a 25-year-old Black transgender woman”. Killed in her home by a “female suspect”, but unknown if this was roommate, partner, what, who was later released.
Yella (Robert) Clark Jr, “ a 45-year-old Black transgender person”. Serving life sentence in Angola prison, killed in an “altercation”. Being trans possibly had something to do with this, because prison, sexual assault, had killed an inmate previously for allegedly raping them, the whole nine yards. PRISON IS NOT A SAFE PLACE TO BE, IT'S FULL OF VIOLENT CRIMINALS AND THUGS.
Jazlynn Johnson, “an 18-year-old transgender teenager”. Another sad story, shot by friend while they were in the car. Probably accidental, the reports don’t indicate he intended to do this.
Liara Tsai, “a 35-year-old white transgender woman”. Body found in crashed car, ex-girlfriend (who, again, likely has mental health issues) was convicted for the stabbing.
Pauly Likens, “a 14-year-old transgender girl”. This one is bad. The child (14 is a child, don’t give me none of your lip) went missing walking home from a friend’s house in the late evening/early night. Dismembered body later found in reservoir. Guy charged with the murder claims to have met the kid on Grindr but suddenly developed a poor memory as to what might or might not have happened. Seems they met up for sex, then our charmer here killed them and disposed of the body. Let me go off on a tangent here about 14 IS TOO GODDAMN YOUNG and maybe the kid was gay not trans and THIS IS WHY AGE VERIFICATION ON SEX/PORN SITES YOU MAROONS YOU MAY NOT LIKE IT BUT THIS IS THE HELL WHY.
Shannon Boswell, “a 30-year-old Black transgender woman”. This one is a bit of a mystery; initially, it was thought she was killed by a hit-and-run, then it turns out she was shot as well. No idea who or why as yet.
Kenji Z. Spurgeon, “, a 23-year-old Black transgender woman”. Shot on the street in the early hours of the morning, it’s unclear what happened as police are still looking for a suspect. She was found lying on the ground after police responded to reports of gunshots in a car park.
Monique Brooks, “a 49-year-old Black transgender woman”, found shot beside her car in a factory parking lot. Someone was arrested but motive is unclear; it might have been a targeted job over drugs or God knows what, Brooks may not even have been the target.
Dylan Gurley, “a 20 year old a transgender woman”. Found stabbed, was homeless at the time. Suspect is guy who was living in the squat with her and probably thought she stole money from him.
Tai’Vion Latham, “ a 24-year-old Black transgender woman”. Found shot dead in an alley. No suspect as yet, so no motive.
Vanity Williams, “a 34-year-old Black transgender woman”. Found shot in the lobby of her apartment building, suspect allegedly knew her but nothing more is given, so no idea as to motive.
Redd (Barbie), “a 25-year-old Black transgender woman”. Again, another bystander victim; a couple of groups of people were hanging out on the street, a guy came up to talk to a woman in a different group, left, came back, and started shooting.
Kassim Omar, “a 29-year-old Black trans woman”. Shot by two teenagers in her apartment building (who had previously been “harassing her due to her gender identity and sexuality”), left paralysed, died two years later and so the teens have been charged with murder.
Honee Daniels, “a 37-year-old Black trans woman”, killed in a hit-and-run while walking home.
Santonio “San” Coleman, “a 48-year-old Black gender non-conforming person”. Found critically injured on a trail. First thought to be a homicide, now it might be an accidental fall. So not sure if this even counts as death by violence for their statistics.
Quanesha Shantel (“Cocoa”), “a 26-year-old Black trans woman”. Shot and killed by ex-boyfriend. She wanted to break up, he didn’t, so can you say he killed her out of transphobia?
There we are: 36 deaths, but how many of them would you count as genuine anti-trans hate crime violence epidemic? I'm not trying to deny transphobia and hate crimes exist, just point out that the next time you see "X trans deaths! our society is homophobic and transphobic, this proves it!", that may not be the exact motive for murder instead of the traditional ones of greed, lust, revenge, etc. that happen to straight white cis people too.
This one is going to be long, so I'll probably break it up into two halves for easier reading.
We hear a lot about “Transgender Day/Week of Remembrance” and hate-crimes/murders affecting transgender people. Figures get reported uncritically in the media and, more importantly, on social media. But how accurate are they?
I’m going to go through a 2024 report from the Human Rights Campaign Foundation, where they call it an “epidemic of violence”. Then I’ll list the names they give of transgender people who were killed in 2023/2024 and what I’ve found online reported on the deaths.
That will let us see, at least, if people really are being murdered wholesale simply for being trans, or if it’s simply for the same reasons people have been murdered throughout history.
Make up your own minds. I’m not doing this for any agenda pro- or anti-anything, except for having accuracy (as much as we can get it) as to who is getting killed and for what reasons (if there are reasons to be established). (I like this new phrase, “gender expansive”. Must remember that is the correct term to use in future).
Several of these cases are to do with “victim was sex worker/may have been engaged in sex work/may have had criminal ties”. Several are “current/former romantic partner”.
The Epidemic of Violence Against the Transgender & Gender-Expansive Community in the U.S.
The 2024 Report
Human Rights Campaign Foundation, November 2024The epidemic of violence against transgender and gender-expansive people is a national tragedy. Each life stolen from us in this way is the result of a society that demeans and devalues anyone who dares challenge the gender binary. This year, we’ve seen an explosion of violent and hateful rhetoric aimed at the LGBTQ+ community—words that make both physical violence and discriminatory legislation more palatable for those in need of a scapegoat. This is one of many reasons why, last year, HRC declared a State of Emergency for LGBTQ+ people for the first time in our over 40-year history.
Since the day after the last Transgender Day of Remembrance on November 20, 2023, at least 36 transgender and gender-expansive people have been killed in the U.S.
So this is everyone who was deliberately murdered solely for being transgender, no other reason? Well, no:
Between January 2013 and October 2024, the FBI recorded 16 fatal hate crimes committed against trans and gender-expansive people, including bias-motivated deaths categorized as murder, manslaughter, or negligent manslaughter, far fewer than the 372 deaths recorded by HRC.
The discrepancy is due to the fact that ‘hate crime’ carries a legal definition—albeit one which differs between jurisdictions and across state and federal regulations. In addition, not all jurisdictions collect and report hate crimes data to the FBI, meaning that the FBI’s database is not exhaustive.
A case does not have to be categorized as a hate crime to be included in our reporting. Rather, we include those cases where bias, hate, and structural violence and stigma played a role in the killing of individuals, including indirectly through fostering the conditions in which the death occurred (e.g. if a person was killed while engaging in survival sex work, after being pushed out of the formal economy).
So basically – if you were trans/gender non-conforming/cis gender non-conforming and you died by violence, you get counted in the list of “anti-trans hate”. Yes, even if you got whacked in gang-related crime or were shot by a random shooter who was in a quarrel with a completely different person or got knocked down in a hit-and-run:
Victim Identification
We do not include every death of a transgender, gender-nonconforming, or non-binary person. To be included:
• The death must have occurred in the United States, including Puerto Rico and Outlying American territories.
o Deaths that occur in other countries, even if the victims are Americans, are not included.
• The death must have been committed by another person, either directly or through contributions to the circumstances that resulted in the death.
o This means that suicides and death from illness and substance use are not included.
• The cause of death must be confirmed by authorities to be a homicide and/or caused by another person.
o “Authorities” includes official statements (or press reports of official statements) from law enforcement and/or lawyers and advocates involved in the case.
• Violence, including structural violence, must also be a component of the circumstances, even if the perpetrator did not set out to kill the victim.
o Thus, deaths due to robbery/burglary, hit-and-run and vehicular homicide, and deaths which occur at the hands of the police/while in police or law enforcement custody, are included, in addition to deaths from homicide and manslaughter.…Identification of cases
We include victims who identify as transgender, non-binary, gender-expansive, or some other non-cisgender identity at the time of their death, or who were gender-expansive in their gender presentation, or who were cisgender but presumed to be trans.…Expanding our inclusion criteria – inclusion of non-trans victims
As noted above,this year’s report now includes people who are cisgender and gender non-conforming in their gender expression/presentation, as well as those who were presumed to be trans and whose presentation or the presumption thereof was a motivating factor in their death. The decision to expand our inclusion criteria was made in acknowledgement that these victims lost their lives to the same transphobic forces, and thus should be memorialized and included in discussions of the epidemic of anti-trans violence.…Data collection
The information presented in this report reflects the most recently available data on all included cases, as identified to the best of our ability.
Data on each case are gathered daily through review of news reports, police reports, case records, and discussions with local advocates and loved ones of the victims.
All information is then recorded in an internal database and reviewed on a quarterly basis to confirm accuracy and update with emergent information as available.
Because new details may emerge as cases work their way through the justice system, and as law enforcement agencies release new information, data in this report may not always reflect what was noted in original reporting, or what may emerge in the future.”
HereAndGone
4d ago
Oh boy yeah, the amount of merry-go-round of A is with B, has baby, they split up, A goes on to C and B goes on to D, new babies: it's horrible. I saw it in a former job. But generally it is easier for a guy to move on to new partner (and new baby if new partner thinks this will solidify the relationship, though why they think that I can never figure out; he's already walked out on former wife and kids) than a woman with kids to get a new partner willing to commit. That's for nice middle-class people, not just the dregs and underclass.
And if you have a middle-class lifestyle, having the main breadwinner walk out and leave you with a couple of dependents does hit harder.
it's been a long, long time since my family had anything to do with Scouts, but re: Cub Scouts and women - yes? Den Mothers? though I see you refer to the women as Den Leaders so presumably that went by the wayside in the name of equality or something. Cub Scouts, so far as I can remember, are meant to be a bunch of six year olds so you have the female Den Mother keeping them from poking their eyes out with scissors until they're old enough to graduate on to the Boy Scouts (and then go on to Venturer or whatever if they stick around into their teens).
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