CanofWorms
1yr ago
If you don’t enjoy engineering, I’d argue try doing something else. I think migrating to another country is a fine goal, but if engineering is just a means to an end, you may be setting yourself up for an unenjoyable four years of college and, even worse, an unenjoyable career. I chose engineering because I had a flair for math and thought computer programming was cool, but I found I both hated and wasn’t good at programming or circuits. I still work as an electrical engineer, but I’ve never much enjoyed the work, and always had a what if… feeling in the back of my head. I could do it over again, I would go back and stick with Political Science (or history) and have gone to law school.
To answer your question more directly, engineering is fucking hard. Even at the undergraduate level. Some people are more talented than others, but trust me, very few people find it easy. Regardless, it’s worth thinking long and hard on what you’re interested in (and good at) and weighing your future job prospects.
CanofWorms
1yr ago
I know that Abilify is used to reduce feelings of irritation in Autistic people. But this is a general anti-psychotic drug and is also used by those with schizophrenia, BPD, depression, etc.
CanofWorms
1yr ago
When you say better half, are you referring to those with money vs those without money? Because I know plenty of middle class people who enjoy all sorts of culture, including art, movies, musicals, plays, history, etc. They also really enjoy going to a football or baseball game.
CanofWorms
1yr ago
It has more to do with the texture of the meat. She prefers not to handle raw meat if she can avoid it.
CanofWorms
1yr ago
You have your work cut out for you. I saw you mentioned he is a plot hound mix, hounds are notoriously stubborn and can be difficult to train. And if he’s already one year old, some of that behavior will be more difficult to get rid of than if he were, say, 4 months old.
I’d recommend getting a crate and practicing crate games with him. I know a lot of people are anti-crate, but I’ve had a lot of success using a crate with multiple dogs. It allows you to lock them up when you leave the house giving you peace of mind that they won’t destroy anything. And it doesn’t have to be permanent, just something you keep until you can trust leaving them home alone.
I also second the other commenters suggestion to revisit the dogs exercise regiment. Running around the backyard is great, but your dog wants explore. Hikes are best, but walks are good too. I’d recommend at least an hour a day walking, hiking, or running with your dog. Dog parks can also be your friend, but can be dicey. People have strong opinions on dog parks. Personally, I think they can be great if you can find a dog park with responsible owners and if you have a dog who is well socialized.
I’m also not a big fan of shock collars, particularly for non-aggressive behavior. They can turn a dog more aggressive without a lot of benefit. Positive reinforcement is best, but there’s also nothing wrong with smacking a dog (lightly) if he’s deliberately acting up.
There’s a lot you can do to train a dog, but they are stubborn and challenging. Doing the same thing every day is key to a well trained dog. This is much easier said than done.
Link to my favorite dog behaviorist/trainer, Patricia McConnells blog. Lots of gems on this site:
CanofWorms
1yr ago
Nice to read a positive life update on this thread. My girlfriend is a pescatarian, while I am a meat eater. Overall, it’s working fairly well. I will generally make a Caesar salad and grill chicken on the side so we are both able to eat dinner without having to cook two separate meals. And if we go out to eat, she will still eat seafood, which is always nice to get at a good restaurant. The only problem I have is she doesn’t cook meat dinners. She’s down to make me a Turkey sandwich, for example, but steak and eggs or pork chops are off the table.
It’s definitely good to have that conversation early tho about what your lady is willing or isn’t willing to do in the kitchen. I would not envy living the rest of my life with a woman who won’t make me a Turkey sandwich.
CanofWorms
1yr ago
Obligatory:
CanofWorms
1yr ago
Just my two cents, but I prefer the 24 hour waiting period before seeing my own karma. It’s kind of a nice surprise when I come back and see 7 upvotes even if no one has commented on my thread/comment.
I’d also be very against having an “overall” karma number associated with a profile. Especially a number that is public. Regardless of the worthlessness of karma, I think it would still incentivize low effort posts from those looking to puff up their overall numbers. That, and I like when looking at two profiles of people who are having a debate that both are on the same playing field. No profile has a higher karma number than the other. It sort of levels the playing field and requires me to absorb the arguments on their merits rather than prior history.
Other than that, I think the mods are doing a great job. This is a terrific forum and I get a lot of entertainment from the quality of the posts here.
CanofWorms
1yr ago
Cause he wakes up in the morning
And he goes to work at five
And he comes back home at five-thirty
Gets the same train every time
And he's oh, so good
And he's oh, so fine
And he's oh, so healthy
In his body and his mind
He's a well respected man
CanofWorms
1yr ago
Check out AL Frankens autobiography. It won’t give you truly what you’re looking for, but there’s a lot to be learned from it.
I think biographies are generally the best way to understand American politics. You might consider Nixons biography as I believe a lot of the 1970s set up politics for a generations.
CanofWorms
1yr ago
In my experience you don’t. There’s a reason people enjoy being drunk and that is because it does the exact things you are describing. But once you remove the chemical from the brain, there’s no way to replicate that experience.
I’ve learned to sort of accept my stiffness and work on being ok with that. It’s not ideal, but using substances to try and create real relationships does not work.
CanofWorms
1yr ago
Haha fair. I know of a woman who may fit this description
CanofWorms
1yr ago
Tell me this is CoEd softball in Denver.
CanofWorms
1yr ago
I spend a good amount on hobbies and travel:
Golf: $200-$300 a month. This is my real killer, but I absolutely love golf and it makes me happy so I’m ok with it.
Travel: Probably $3000-$4000 a year. I try to offset this by churning credit cards for airline and hotel points.
Therapy:$300 a month. This is another killer, but I do find good use out of it and it’s not exactly a hobby.
I’ve become less frugal as I’ve gotten older. I still manage to save about 30% of my pre tax income. I pay as little as I can for an apartment in my VHCOL area, drive a cheap paid-off car, don’t eat out much, don’t go to bars much, don’t go to concerts or sporting events much, don’t gamble much, don’t shop much.
Really, golf is my main guilty pleasure and travel eats up a bit too. I’m pretty happy with my savings rate and spending.
CanofWorms
1yr ago
I’d like to hear more about your golf club hobby. Are you a golfer? Have you ever actually found any gems at a thrift store?
CanofWorms
1yr ago
Right, but in the chart above from the NYT, individuals received approximately 40% of COVID relief. Even if the money was wasted by municipal governments, even if the business loans weren’t taxed, even if corporations were bailed out, at the end of the day, the little guy did get a large piece of the pie.
CanofWorms
1yr ago
Is this actually true? Seems like at least 40% of all COVID payments went to individuals, and a much higher percentage to small businesses, healthcare, and state funds.
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2022/03/11/us/how-covid-stimulus-money-was-spent.html
CanofWorms
1yr ago
I was thinking he could jam up the toilet or cut an electrical line (after tripping the breaker), but he’d have to be careful about not getting blamed for it.
CanofWorms
1yr ago
I don’t think you’re overreacting, I would be pissed as well. 4 years of the same policy and they tow your car within a week of changing that policy? Yeah. That’s uncharitable to the point of viciousness.
As to your options, if you don’t pay full rent, won’t they just take it out of your deposit? Id be careful trying that.
Maybe you could ask them to split the cost of the tow? Barring some sort of vandalism or a poor Yelp/google review, I’m not sure you have any way to get back at them
CanofWorms
1yr ago
That’s a great book and really kicked off an interest in financial non-fiction for me. If you’re looking for more stories, Liars Poker by Michael Lewis is good. I also really liked Billion Dollar Whale and The Rise and Fall of Long Term Capital Management. And if you haven’t seen Enron:The Smartest Guys in the Room, might be my favorite financial documentary.
What I find interesting about the financial crisis, is it seems that the federal government learned their lesson from the extreme backlash in non bailing out the general public. The banks were all bailed out in 2009, but millions of people lost their houses and jobs and were not given much additional money. When COVID shut down the world economy, the federal government was much more generous in cash handouts, unemployment, and loans. The federal government didn’t want another Tea Party or Occupy Wall Street movement on their hands, so they actually sent money straight to peoples pockets.
CanofWorms
1yr ago
Working. Because I don’t have the day off.
But your idea sounds like as good a use of time as any. Personally, if I had the day off, I’d go play a round of golf.
CanofWorms
1yr ago
If you want to get psychedelics without dealing with anyone in person, the dark web is the way to go.
CanofWorms
1yr ago
I feel like I could have written this, especially the parts about being much more likeable and fun when intoxicated. Granted good old alcohol on its own usually does the trick for me, but the Phenibut sounds interesting.
I don’t have any good advice for you. I’ve been dealing with social anxiousness my whole life. I have a few close friends, my parents, two of my brothers, and a girlfriend who I all love, but I absolutely feel socially isolated. I haven’t made a new close connection in years, and it’s caused me significant agitation and anxiety. I’ve always wondered whether I’m actually on the spectrum or if my social confidence has been harmed from rejection and isolation over the years. Hard to say.
I’ve tried many things to help fix this: sports, theater, improv, therapy, antidepressants, but at the end of the day, I just generally do not feel comfortable around new people. Clearly I want/need people around me, but I struggle to actually feel comfortable. All I can say is that it sucks big time. I’m thankful for my intelligence, but sometimes I’d rather be a moron with social skills than an intelligent loner.
CanofWorms
1yr ago
Still chipping away at The Power Broker. About halfway through!
R/bogleheads. 3 fund portfolio. Doesn’t get any easier for retirement prep.
3-5 year time horizon is a much different animal. If you’re looking for something guaranteed, a high yield savings account, CD, or money market fund are where you want to be. Anything invested in equities is going to be too risky for such a short period of time.
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