BlindDeafRat
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User ID: 2868
BlindDeafRat
28d ago
I generally agree with this post, so this is more in a further reply to your other post on small scale question sunday.
I would honestly suggest going through that 4chan /lgbt/ archive link I posted in the other thread. Just as an example. I'm a man in a relationship, with another man, and we're both relatively normal. Not feminine, not masculine. But I have AGP as well. I have sexual fantasies of being a woman. In fact they're the predominant type when it comes to fantasies. But in reality I'm attracted to men, and I'm not sexually attracted to women, I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with one either. And this isn't really an uncommon view among various transwomen I've talked to, or lurked around. Like in the agpgen link, despite being about agp, most people seem to be into men.
Another thing to consider is that some people have experienced becoming attracted to men after starting HRT. After all, if you hate your male body, it would make sense you'd hate homosexuality too, since it's just two men. It makes more sense for someone with gender dysphoria to hate homosexuals than someone without. But what if you were female? Would you want to be with a man then?
Otherwise I usually I avoid all openly trans spaces because the main topic of discussion there is being trans, which I don't care about. But if you find more private discussions it's a lot better. Which is why I like agpgen. It's inherently about sex, so people will tend to be more honest about what they really like, rather than what they say to look good to their tribe.
I see transitioning as a valid choice, even if our current technology is lacking when it comes to actually going through it. But if we had more advanced tech, or if there was, like you said, a magic button I could press that would turn me female, I'd press it without hesitation too.
BlindDeafRat
1mo ago
I'm not really sure what you want, but if I'm understanding you correctly you can look at the repressor general/repgen on 4chan's /lgbt/ board. I don't know if it's still like that, because I haven't checked it in years, but the general idea is that they want to transition but won't because they wouldn't pass, or they do take HRT but don't present as women. Some voice train to sound feminine, but only use it online. While some of them don't take HRT at all, I think a sizable amount do, so it should still fit your criteria.
There's a also something similar "boymodding", but from what I understand that's usually temporary(present as male while in the early stages of HRT/pre face feminization surgery). There's also something called "Manmodding" that's supposed to be more permanent, but I only know the terms in passing.
Looking through the archives through an archival site like this is probably the best way to do it, since individual threads won't offer much more than "woe is me". There's also the AGP threads on the archives you can check(think they're banned on the board, although enforcement is selective), agpgen is way more interesting, but they are pro transition unlike repgen. If you don't know, you can change the repgen in the subject to agpgen if you want to search the other.
As far as info goes on what you want, that's probably the most easily accessible public source. It won't be easy to sift through it to get to the information you want, but it is there, somewhere.
Wouldn't have transitioned in similar circumstances, in the cultural climate of, say, 20+ years ago, (i.e. comparing to counterfactual of born 20 years earlier, making decision 20 years ago, not comparing to past self) but did transition in recent years (or is about to start transition now)
I feel like that's the case for most of them. If it was 20 years ago, and even if you had gender dysphoria you'd suppress it, or manage it through crossdressing or other ways. If you wanted to transition back then you really had to seek it out. The average transwoman from back then is a whore or a porn actor. These days it's much more visible, you see a lot of news about trans topics, even if you don't really see anyone who is trans, meanwhile online you have entire communities which are easily found by anyone. And the process of transition is easier too, you can order HRT online easily, and there's tons of guides to regarding dosages and other stuff relating to it. I don't have any statistics, but quite a few trans people did either start through DIY and then switched to official, or stayed DIY.
Another thing to look at more specifically is the last few years, aka Covid. This is completely anecdotal, but I think that if you look back to the years 2020, 2021, and 2022 you will see a huge spike in transitions. Everyone being inside and online, meant you were more likely to spend time thinking about it and see it and wearing a mask made passing easier too which helped with the woes of early transition.
Profile meaning:
As to this, if you want the most common example you can look at a "failed males". Nerdy interests, no friends, shut in, depressed, anxious, likely autistic. There's also an incel to trans pipeline too. HRT has created irreparable changes to any community that has a lot of autistic males, like programming, speed running, video games in general. There's definitely examples of successful people transitioning, but most were depressed prior. There's reason for the 42%? attempted suicide rate, that's often spammed online as a meme.
Although looking at your past posts, I feel like this post might not really be of much use to you, but whatever. Since you mentioned autogynephilia in an earlier post, but I hope it at least offers something.
BlindDeafRat
1mo ago
Probably not what you want since it's more of a niche thing, but there's this genre in Japan called Utattemita (歌ってみた), the basic premise is that first you have the producer make a song, usually with Vocaloid/artificial vocals. And then the songs are covered by amateurs. You can see so many different covers of the same song, male, female, and kinds of different singers, although the oldest are probably in their 30s. Sometimes the producer themselves also sings it.
It's used to listen to it a lot, but if you don't like the music style, it won't do much for you.
BlindDeafRat
2mo ago
Jargon is a better word, I didn't mean anything by rhetoric. And it's not just the terms, I feel like your viewpoint is also very similar to the depressed repressors there, but I guess that has also (tragically) spread outside of the board.
BlindDeafRat
2mo ago
Funny to see Bisnap here. I also stopped watching him around the same time.
BlindDeafRat
2mo ago
I really liked playing Arkane games, especially Dishonored 1, but after Deathloop I completely lost interest. It got high reviews, and if you mention it on Reddit most people say they like it, but it lacks everything that made their other games interesting, and instead makes it a theme park. It's the ideal gaming journalist game. You go on a short ride for 9 hours, and you're done forever. You can look, but you can't actually do anything except sit in your chair and see your character do all the actually interesting things you could've done in the previous games. On top of that they butchered half the mechanics so they could add pvp multiplayer, which added absolutely nothing for me.
Redfall was even worse, so I didn't even try playing it. And now they're making a third person Blade game. Maybe I'll be good, I don't know.
I don't think it's all bad though. I doubt we'll ever see a similar game of that type from a AAA dev, but there's plenty of cool indie studios making like that look promising, especially something like Peripeteia.
BlindDeafRat
2mo ago
It's so strange to see /tttt/ rhetoric on here.
I consider myself a male who takes estrogen and bicalutamide more or less as a cosmetic procedure and/or mental health intervention
Do you take HRT from a prescription? Or DIY?
BlindDeafRat
2mo ago
I agree with the BahRamYou that there's no malevolent conspiracy. Women simply spend more money on media they consume. So publishers cater to them.
I’m talking UK/Irish literary fiction, which is not internet native. It’s offline establishment native.
The ones I talked about with shounen/shoujo is offline. It has physical sales. Same thing in China. Where despite the CCP's stance against homosexuality some of the most popular novels and tv shows are danmei, which are stories with gay romance, but without the sex and kissing. Whose fanbase is primarily female.
As a sideways related example, Entourage was a hit mainstream US show, centering on four male characters and their interests, ambitions struggles, screened between 2004-11. When you watch it now and realise that there’s an almost 0% chance of anything like it being approved now, never mind be given prime time slots for years, you realise how far the mind virus has gone in the decision making corridors of power across all mainstream publishing and media.
If you want stories that are made for and by men, there's plenty of webnovels you can read on Royalroad or self published on Amazon, or fanfics on Spacebattles or other sites.
And actually there are still shows made primarily for men. Reacher, Jack Ryan, Terminal List. Adaptations of novels that probably do still have a primarily male readership.
BlindDeafRat
2mo ago
Do you have experience with long term relationships? I know that gay men on average aren't known for being in monogamous long term relationships, and I don't think these dynamics really apply in long term relationships.
Also, anecdotally, I have an older sister and no older brothers and I'm still gay.
And in regards to anal, I enjoy masturbation and especially being the bottom, and I've never felt any pain. Here is a really detailed guide for it. It's not like it'll change your mind, but it might be interesting at least.
BlindDeafRat
2mo ago
I only use it to downvote people I disagree with. There's an addon for Reddit that shows total down/upvotes for users, and it's nice to see how many total downvotes I've given them. I wish that was a thing on the motte too.
But I'm not very argumentative so I use it more for specific people rather than in general.
BlindDeafRat
2mo ago
This is purely anecdotal, but from my experience with yaoi/gay porn, female artists/writers are much more likely to include guro or psychological torture in their works than male ones. Even when they draw both yaoi and straight porn, they will only include it in yaoi. And this has been the case probably the last 20 years, and a lot of these artists are Japanese as well so it's not something contained to the West.
So as a whole this doesn't really seem very surprising. Rather than this becoming an indication of anti-male publishing, it's an indication that what used to be fanfiction people read in private, rose to the mainstream. The publishers are delivering female targeted fiction, for their female majority fanbases. If you want an actual example, you just need to look at Fifty Shades of Grey. The movie is rated 4.2/10, but you can find thousands of stories like it on Ao3.
I don't think that this is really a bad thing. In general mainstream has become something that panders to all demographics which I don't find very interesting, so the development of new works that are targeted specifically to either men or women doesn't seem like a bad thing. Like in Japan, it's been like that for ages, where you have shoujo that is targeted towards girls, and primarily watched by girls. And you have plenty of harem power fantasies as well as regular shounen that are targeted towards boys and watched by boys. Although shounen has acquired a bigger female audience recently.
1x. I tried higher and I didn't like it.
I love speedreading fiction, but when reading I can adjust my pace. If a scene is dense I can take my time, if it's boring, I'll go faster. But that's not possible with videos. So I don't see the point. It's also why I don't like videos except for entertainment.
BlindDeafRat
7mo ago
I love this genre, so I'll list the ones I've played and liked.
Forced stealth is pretty rare. And just that alone basically excludes everything. So I'll ignore that criteria. Although none of these games have diplomacy.
Far Cry is a good recommendation like the other poster said, all the games from FC2, to FC5. They also all have mods if you want to make it more difficult.
Tom Clancy's Wildlands is third person, but you can aim in first person. Also fits the forced stealth metric because you will die almost instantly if you get caught on the higher difficulties). There's also its sequel Breakpoint which I haven't played, but I heard some say it's better.
For a less popular route there is the Sniper Ghost Warrior Contracts 1 and 2. There's also the earlier games, but I didn't like those. Contracts is basically an eastern european AA version of Far Cry with some pretty solid mechanics and good level design.
There's also Homefront Revolution. Which is again a European take on Far Cry, this time by Crytek, it's set in an urban environment which mostly plays it straight except it also has sections where you're in controlled civilian areas and have to sneak around and can't freely kill people.
Intravenous is an isometric top down game, but it's a really good stealth game otherwise. Includes a lot of mechanics from other games, has a ton of customization, and has a bunch of different difficulties. If you don't mind the isometric perspective check it out. The developer is clearly right wing too, and it shows in the story if that matters to you at all.
Hunt Showdown is a multiplayer version of this as well. Stealth is a huge element because it has really good sound design, so if you give away your position by making noise skilled players can easily find you.
There's also the old school Ghost Recon and Rainbow Six games, and SWAT 3 and 4, or the more modern Ready or Not, but I haven't played these because controlling other characters isn't really as interesting.
Finally if I depart even further from your criteria there's Shadow Tactics and Desperados 3. If you like pure stealth they're amazing games, but they're isometric and you control multiple characters at once and can at any point pause and order them around. So it doesn't really fit except that it's stealth, your characters will die very quickly when spotted and stealth is mandatory.
BlindDeafRat
8mo ago
I agree with your partner that rural places feel like they're dead and depressing. I've lived in villages, and it feels so isolating, it's awful. I like hearing people around me, even, and in fact especially because I have no interest in actually interacting with them. Then there's the other side, where instead of being isolated, people will try to be friendly even when you don't want that.
And at least in my experience, villages are not quiet. There's lots of animal sounds, especially bugs which I personally despise. And if you have a house and some land, there is always work to be done.
I live in a very small city, so it's not a good comparison to Sydney, I can take the bus and be in a big forest in 15 minutes, but I would never go live rural.
BlindDeafRat
8mo ago
BlindDeafRat
8mo ago
I believe there is still a way to download from something like Deezer in high quality, although I haven't tried it. As in download actual tracks, not how it works with Spotify.
I think your perspective is skewed. Why the focus on fixed difficulty? Rather than looking at how some people want to make games easier, you should look at the ways a lot of games allow you to scale difficulty higher.
Recently Balatro came out, and it's pretty fun, and the first win isn't that hard, but to win on the higher difficulties isn't that easy. There's plenty of other games with the same mechanic. Slay the Spire is probably the best example, it has 20 ascension levels, and the highest level is basically impossible to winstreak on. There's tons of other roguelites with similar mechanics. AI Wars is an RTS that has tons of difficulties where again, the highest one is basically designed for you to lose on.
Gunfire Reborn & Roboquest are FPS roguelites and they both have scaling difficulty. You mentioned Ubisoft games too. Tom Clancy Wildlands also has a scaling difficulty setting.
All in all, there's tons of games that are out now that have scaling difficulty, either built in or through mods. Is all of that just meaningless because it's not fixed?
It seems like the bulk of the post is just focused on gaming journalists who barely games in the first place.
BlindDeafRat
8mo ago
Yeah. The fact that one of the threads with the highest number of posts on /lit/, is basically /r9k/(at least it's slightly better than what that board is today, but still), says a lot about the site.
On most of 4chan today, sincerity is despised.
BlindDeafRat
8mo ago
No offense, but all the posts here seems like they're very touristy views of the site and completely ignore all the numerous downsides of the site.
You can search on 4chan's archives more easily than reddit's. Reddit's search function is worthless and requires you to use google to search site:reddit instead.
One of the worst parts about is that a few shitposters can ruin threads way more easily than anywhere else, like there are /vg/ threads that are unusable because a bot will find them and spam them, there's shitposters that can and will ruin entire boards. It is proof that no moderation, or more like light moderation will certainly not result in better places for discussion.
This is worsened still by the hivemind of 4chan where anything that goes against the common view of the site "Everything is shit" will generally be ignored and be shitposted about. Say you like a book and you wanna make a thread for it? I really doubt you'll find better discussion for it on 4chan vs other sites. Because most people will ignore thread, a few will shitpost, and maybe you'll get one or two replies that are actually relevant to what you want.
And that's not to say that there aren't good sides on it. 4chan/imageboards are really good for the small, niche communities for particular subjects. Like there's a tea thread that's very nice, but anything outside of those niches is generally worse than other sites.
BlindDeafRat
9mo ago
There's Foxhole. I haven't played it personally because I prefer autistic single player games.
But I know that it has a big focus on players doing everything. Like players need to drive the trucks to the front lines to provide ammo, there's factories that create that ammo, and I don't know if those factories need something else as well, but still.
If you're interested in this premise it might be worth to check it out.
BlindDeafRat
9mo ago
Wildlands is a fun game, was 100% worth buying it on a sale. What I really like about it is that while there's lots of different weapons, but one isn't really strictly better than the other, so you can use whatever you think looks cool or is fun to use. And you can fully customize your squad members to look like whatever you want, from casual clothing to military outfits, or ghillie suits. You can even make an either all male or all female team, with different voice actors. And the setting of Bolivia is beautiful, easily in the top 5 of the most beautiful and varied open worlds in games.
If you play on the highest difficulty, or unlock tier 1 mode? I think it's called, you will die instantly if you're detected and the game becomes less fun at that point.
If you want more long distance games like there, the sequel Breakpoint is considered by some people to be strictly better in terms of gameplay, but the world design is much worse in my opinion so I didn't play much of it. Also the party commands are worse because they were added after the game came out, so the commands clearly were added on top of the game, rather the game being built with it in mind.
If you want more games like this there's also the Sniper Elite 2-5 series set in WW2. I didn't like the series because I find WW2 boring as a setting and prefer Cold War and onward instead, but the level design was good from what I've played. It also has co op multiplayer if you're into that, but no AI teammates.
Then there's Sniper Ghost Warrior Contracts has a stupid title, but they're fun games, again easily worth buying on a sale, it's set in modern/near future, with the 1st somewhere in Siberia, and the 2nd in some desert. Again, no AI teammates, but you get a drone and a few other toys to control. The sequel has a few parts where you can only do long distance sniping that are fun.
There's also the original Ghost Recon obviously. That game has plenty of long distance engagements, although I haven't played it. It also has AI teammates.
You could also try Crysis, at least the first half of the first game, and then maybe Crysis 2 and 3. Mechanically they're all fun, but only the first game plus its expansion Warhead have those big open levels where you can engage from a distance.
Now, while it doesn't really fit your requirements, because most encounters are usually in tight quarters, I would also really recommend The Division 2, as well as 1. 2 is better mechanically, 1 has a better world. It is a looter shooter, and I have a lot of ARPG experience so it really didn't bother me, but a lot of people complain about enemies being bullet spongy. But mechanically it is one of the best feeling and most intense shooters I've played. They also have beautiful modeled NYC during Christmas in the first game, which even now looks amazing, and Washington DC in the sequel that isn't as atmospheric but still very beautiful.
Also, if you get Ubisoft Connect you can try all of their games for like 15 euro a month, it might be cheaper for a first time too. Other recommendations would be Ghost Recon Future Soldier which is more close quarters, but still has some longer range engagements, but it is where Wildlands took its party commands from, and it's really fun to use your ghosts to wipe out the enemies. And the Far Cry series, which are all good except for 6, which is complete shit. As well as both Division games obviously.
I like them a lot, but I've found that there's two ways a map goes for me. Either I rush, and pause every few seconds to move stuff forward, and it's super stressful to play.
Or I take my time, but at some point the game becomes slow and tedious. I wish there was a better way to control your units. Like selecting and moving multiple units at once sucks because it doesn't take terrain into account, so you have to move every unit individually, and you have to move them forwards again and again. I really wish you could plan and then execute multiple commands where they move forward after the creep has been pushed back to a certain point, basically programming them to act a certain way. But I only played Creeper World 4. Maybe 3 is different.
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