yofuckreddit
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User ID: 646
yofuckreddit
4d ago
Recognizing that such a huge percentage of your family, friends, schoolmates, etc. that are part of your culture were all lying to you doesn't feel great. I don't think she had sexual FOMO, but who knows, maybe that was part of it too.
yofuckreddit
4d ago
I have what I believe to be natural male jealousy and insecurity, probably similar to both of you.
I have a higher body count and volume of experience than my wife. This is something you may not want to do, and statistically it makes your future relationships more likely to fail, but having been around the block at least once will calibrate the value of sex to something less than how you view it now. I won't say what's right or what's wrong on that, but I do believe there's a difference between sex and "lovemaking".
Another reason why having at least some experience is important is that you realize that many women are terrible lays. Given how little they have to actually do, a natural conclusion is that men are pretty fucking bad at sex as well. I historically took some comfort in the fact that even if I was with someone who had been with more people, I was above par.
My biggest concern for you right now is that some of that insecurity - that another dude before you is a better lay and satisfied her more deeply - may be true because you have no experience. It took years to elevate my technique, and sex that felt transcendent in my second year doing it seems like amateur hour in comparison to what I did later. To be clear this isn't anything exotic - even 1-1 monogamous and toy-free sex requires a lot of effort. There's a huge sleight of hand in the US Christian culture, at least, where everyone's pretending they're not having sex when they actually are, and realizing that really pissed my wife off for years. Christian women, IME, aren't interested in virgin men.
I haven't really answered your question yet. First: no, I don't ask about historical body count. It only has the potential to be bad news. I believe you can learn about someone's tastes and preferences effectively without hearing that Joe from Accounting was the first one to put a thumb in her ass. All it would do is make me jealous.
The second thing is that true emotional connection and enthusiasm is a huge force multiplier for high-quality sex. If you are a great partner in all the other ways and love sex with them, you'll be at or near the top of their historical experiences.
Can you name your fear? Is it that you won't be the best? That they'll cheat? Because you do need to suss out the probablity of the latter happening. I don't think going into the gory details helps. If it's the former, you should know that people live with that reality all the time.
yofuckreddit
8d ago
I'm glad you posted this. I hate KJP but it was an obviously hostile interview.
If the Democratic establishment is capable of selling vastly incompetent black lesbians down the river again, congratulations to them.
yofuckreddit
8d ago
I feel like that is both true but also sort of just an excuse to justify direct terrorist action against America. It was one reason among many, and I can't help but feel like if we were less supportive of Israel 9/11 would have still happened. We still meddle quite a bit on our own out there. I have a Ron Paulish stance on it.
yofuckreddit
9d ago
to pro-gun people, any physical contact is a potential justification for use of deadly force in response.
Other people are pointing out tackling, heads, etc. which I also agree with.
But when open carrying someone beginning to wrestle you or incapacitate you generally ends in them taking your gun and killing you with it. It's why cops always have to kill the guy committing "misdemeanor assault" because it's just the assailant's first step before murdering them.
I need to work on ignoring the discomfort and just locking in, there is no combination of things that makes riding a bike that far comfortable
Ironic. I just attended my first bike fitting yesterday to prepare for a 100-mile race next weekend. This has always been my tack - that the equipment configuration can't possibly matter that much, and the secret is to beat my body into submission and be comfortable in the suffering.
To be clear, any mileage over ~40 means some suffering. It's part of the gig. More than that, you've progressed quickly - it took me 9 months to go from zero to 100 miles. So yeah, there's some "slugging it out".
But when I basically told the fitter your/my MO, he just hung his head for a second and then recovered. "That's pretty much the opposite of what you should be doing". At the scale of a Gran Fondo and above, little adjustments matter. And frankly, the $175 I paid for a fit seemed like a deal with how fucked up my saddle height, shoes, stem, and pedals were. We spent 2.5 hours adjusting every piece of the bike, then testing how it felt with motion capture etc. It felt a lot better in that room, very quickly, and I'll be able to report back how it felt at scale soon.
Is it still overkill for my level of talent and power? Absolutely. But I would say you deserve to have the bike set up correctly and that much discomfort suggests it. At least check out some youtube videos on fit.
- Doing an out and back is awesome, especially if you have a distance goal. I've occasionally had to zig-zag a bit near the end to hit my 62.2mi target, and that makes it easier (plus your wife not having to pick you up is a major plus).
- The Peloton is a great way to up your cadence, the workouts really focus on that over power or distance. Plus Olivia Amato is.... motivating. Even if it's a huge rip off of a workout platform.
- Given your progress, you'll have the capability to do this in the winter or early spring. If you're trying to prove something to yourself, fine, do it then. Frankly, I think hitting a milestone like that is best done on a warm day where you can have some fun - because it's also going to be hard. Things stop being enjoyable between 100km and 100mi IMO.
- For a long time I was so focused on losing weight that I would not eat on rides. You don't need performance food: Some sour patch kids, one of your bottles having gatorade, and something else you just like eating are probably enough. But don't not eat, because it'll slow you down bigly. I almost never bonk, but when I do it's a frustrating waste of time to try and limp back home with cramps slowing me down to a crawl.
yofuckreddit
19d ago
Holy shit. You're not the first person to lavish this amount of praise on it, but it was the worst book I've read in the past.... 10 years?
I literally threw it away 3/4 of the way through. Shut it, walked outside to a dumpster, and dropped it in.
Anyway, sorry to be a wet blanket about it, but I'm continually baffled by the praise.
Agree with your overarching point though (re: Pareto distribution of modern literature). It's all becoming a lot more monolithic, for many reasons, and it's not a development I appreciate.
I have been loving Julia Wolf for a couple years now. She was just featured on a Drake song so it's not exactly a deep cut, but while a lot of her music sounds similar it feels like something unique to me.
My favorite of hers is probably Chlorine, a track from 2019 that invokes the powerfully nostalgic vignette of a surreptitious late-night pool crash. It's similar to 2022, another song where she's "just" featured but still feels like she's contributing a lot to. Her latest album has stepped up the amount of grungy guitar, with Kill you Off feeling a bit like sleep token. In my room has 21m plays as a semi-acoustic and slower track, but was introduced to me as a clubby remix.
yofuckreddit
25d ago
Sorry, you're correct, it's endnotes. It makes the Kindle edition of the book really the only readable one. I'm curious if DFW was sending a message of contempt to his readers with the approach. A lot of artists hate the people who consume what they create. I've specifically isolated myself from reading his interviews etc. because I suspect it may have been the case here.
yofuckreddit
25d ago
The whole point of having a professional on payroll is that he can function both as a holder of domain-specific knowledge and as a critical evaluator of whatever LLMs produce.
A fuckin men
yofuckreddit
25d ago
Another interesting part is that it rewards reading it twice. I didn't have the time to commit to it but yeah.
I don't think you have to read it but I did hit a bump in it part way through, fought through it, and then was glad I did.
Loved the cruise ship essay too. One of many reasons I haven't done one
The worst parts of Infinite Jest are:
- The use of
footnotesendnotes - The fact that it's considered so pretentious to have read it that it's now just a punch line that nobody takes seriously
Still haven't met a single person IRL who's finished it. Bummer.
So I've probably been "your boss" to someone a couple of times. There are essentially three stages:
- LLMs don't really work
- LLMs work amazingly; you should use them for everything
- I've outsourced too much of my creative thought and problem-solving to LLMs, and need to come up with my own answer first before asking it anything.
In October 2025, most people should be on step 2 or 3. If you have a ton of coworkers on Step 1, your boss has a responsibility to model being on step 2.
You can perhaps get him to lay off of you, individually, by explaining you're on step 3. The people who remain on step 1 are being stupid and inefficient. I lost patience with the people who come to me with questions I can obtain in seconds a long time ago. The ones on step 2 are being one-shotted and need to get a grip.
Another tactic is that when you're sending people AI-generated content and only asking if they've asked AI instead of answering it, you're implicitly not respecting their time. If someone is communicating to you from human-to-human and you're dismissing their question or putting an LLM between you, it's a sign of disdain.
Ironically, I'm dealing with LLMs being integrated into our career management platform and having the same problem in reverse. My subordinates are writing their reviews for themselves and each other with AI. I'm spending hours per month having to comb through this verbose slop, synthesize it with reality, and create thoughtful, specific feedback for everyone. It's pretty fucking lame.
yofuckreddit
1mo ago
I agree 100%, it'd be almost nonsensical as a highschooler
I don't think there is a single manly man or cuckold in the story. The only way to win the game with Brett is not to play, but to go fishing instead.
There are more Bretts in today's society than ever before, and they have even more freedom and power. I know a dozen of them. That's what I mean about the relative level of transgression being lower than when the book was written.
I finished The Sun Also Rises this week. I needed to intersperse my slog through a history of the roman empire with some shorter candy. I grabbed recs from a couple people, this one from @FiveHourMarathon and Stranger in a Strange Land from someone else.
In short: I found it decent but not great, and strangely compelling in many ways. I powered through it fairly quickly, found myself looking forward to it, and felt like Hemingway did a great job of conveying an enormous amount of depth through simple language in a way that is lost on many authors (especially in Spain).
At the end of the day, though, it's a circular story with a lot of repetition, and the things that made it so transgressive and compelling aren't really that unique nowadays.
yofuckreddit
1mo ago
I heard a theory that his character was about the inability of the old guard to communicate with the new wave of leftism, and the latter's insistence on specific language as a prerequisite for collaboration. See also his confusion at pronouns etc.
yofuckreddit
1mo ago
TY for the correction
Can I mention - I used to switch blades once every couple of uses. When I told my Dad he was mortified. Manufacturers recommend a couple more uses than that though it's personal. I find the first 2 shaves uncomfortable and go up to around 10.
I've played around with a lot of shaving stuff, but have not done straight razors because I'm a scared pussy.
For the safety-razor cartridge hardware, I used Gilette like everyone else. Then I used Dorco (DSC supplier) to save money for a bit. Even bought women's razors because pink plastic is cheaper than blue. Quality dropped off for some reason, though, and I knew I couldn't buy Gilette products again after they told my gender to go fuck themselves forever on national television. I ended up buying Harry's razors and recylcing a couple of promo codes to get essentially 3 years worth of razors for $35. I use them on my face till they wear out then put them on a different handle for my body.
For shaving creams, I dabbled in the boar-bristle brush + soap part of straight razor shaves. I wanted to sort of pamper myself a bit, and tried to relax and take my time with shaving. Over time, soap pucks ended up lasting for so long that the scents were no longer enticing and I just have too busy of a life. I tried other fancy creams, and none of them were able to compete with the convenience, price, and nostalgia of Barbasol. So now I just alternate between OG and + Aloe variants of that.
One thing that is is worth splurging on is a nice aftershave. A lot of irritation I end up getting is removed by using the right one. Harry's is OK and what I travel with. The best I've tried is Art of Shaving's (available cheaper elsewhere). For $40/$50 you might be correctly thinking "Holy shit" but I only just killed my first bottle after a decade.
I did. A friend suggested it to me, I should have known just based on the cast (much less a 90+% RT Rating) what it'd be like.
It was essentially watered-down Tarantino with implausibly organized leftist violence being celebrated. I regret pumping up the ticket numbers. It was still better than many other movies I've seen in the past couple of years, and was genuinely funny at points, so if you can tolerate it, at least there's that.
God I remember how hammered "I am Charlotte Simmons" was by critics. I enjoyed it, admittedly as a sex crazed teen.
Unfortunately I have no contemporary literature to suggest. I think it takes brass balls to write about a culture just a year or two after it's hit a discernable apex.
yofuckreddit
1mo ago
You're forgetting a critical point: white self hatred is far more widespread than for any other group.
White male and non-white female relationships are absolutely plagued with this dynamic. The wide can rail about ytppl as much as she wants. If Doug's family is a bunch of California leftists, nobody's going to even argue.
yofuckreddit
1mo ago
It is unfortunately common for people to hate a group but still have friends/lovers/spouses in the group. There are certain race and gender combinations I like less than others but I wouldn't hesitate to marry the right person for any reason.
I support this and I want to double up on his advice not to talk about it. Probably for different reasons - I think his wife was being a bit unfair by turning it around back on him when he expressed his jealousy. But talking about it is a catch-22. It makes you appear weak to your partner, and will increase the chances of something negative happening as a result, as you can see from his anecdote.
In the modern world I'll throw something out there - a woman who's slept with ~<1 person a year since becoming "active" is probably a good deal on the sexual market. To me that shows a significant amount of personal restraint. I would be pretty happy with that if I were still dating to marry.
Best of luck!
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