pigeonburger
4d ago
Exactly, until they have had a chance to actually interact meaningfully with you, women are going to be maximally uncharitable with anything you say on your profile. Because they can afford to, as "men willing to message them on apps" are not a scarce ressource at all for them. So if you mention anything about anime in your profile, especially if it's one with limited real estate (I don't know how Hinge works specifically), then they will assume that this means anime is a massive part of your identity, so their mental image of you will shift to that of a neckbeard weeb with waifu bodypillows..
It's the same as with the politics we were discussing in this thread too. Until there's a bit of time/emotional investment from her part, you want to avoid giving her any reason to reject you; because as far as she knows, somewhere in her inbox is a message from her perfect 10, 6'3, 8" cock, liberal surgeon/prince who shares all the same interests as her, so why would she waste any time trying to understand what kind of human being someone with any yellow flags at all is like?
Once she's met you, or had some meaninful communication with you that humanises you, that changes, of course.
pigeonburger
5d ago
Do I need to persevere until my brain just gets it?
That's what worked for me.
pigeonburger
5d ago
I think the main reason to hide your power level in this situation is that majority of women, especially in cities, are going to be at least tepidly liberal, probably just fully in line with mainstream liberalism. Liberal bubbles are extremely strong and their media dominance allows them to pretty much never have to meaningfully engage with opposing opinions; from your average city liberal's perspective, conservatives or anyone more conservative than maintstream neo-liberalism are either willingly ignorant morons or hateful.
If you can first make her realize that you are neither of those things, if you lead with the "actually a smart and caring guy" part and then reveal you're also moderate/conservative, then there's a pretty ok chance you'll burst her bubble. If you lead with the moderate/conservative, you'll likely just bounce right off.
pigeonburger
5d ago
I don't know about them coming back, I've had one most of my adult life, at different levels of kemptness (as of now, decently trimmed). At first it was because I was conforming to hipster fashion. I've experimented with my facial hair a fair bit, I've had handlebars even at some point. But now my wife would divorce me if I shaved my beard, and it conforms to image I have of myself, as a gruff and stern looking.
I'm also a sysadmin, so it's basically a uniform for me.
pigeonburger
5d ago
Great advice list! Couldn't have said it better myself. Ultimately the overarching goal is communicating that you're a well-rounded and well-adjusted guy, everything you do on these apps should be done with that in mind and your advice goes a long way towards giving tips as to how to do so.
pigeonburger
6d ago
I'm not sure I'd put this on kids or parenting attitudes. The important questions here are:
How foreseeable was this flooding? Is that a zone that historically floods? What was the worst ever flood there? Was this not the worst, only a bit worse than the worst ever, or like completely out of proportion with anything that ever happened in the area?
If it was reasonably foreseeable what was the plan to mitigate this risk and why did it fail?
And finally, if it was foreseeable and the plan was inadequate, whose idea was it to let kids in a vulnerable area there?
pigeonburger
6d ago
So what exactly do you really believe is the parallel? First, is the increased budget for ICE an increase in the salary of ICE agents or more funding to accomplish their task? Because the second wouldn't make them feel any extra loyalty. Do you also seriously believe that Trump is planning or hoping that ICE is going to stand on his side against... the US military? All other state law enforcement? Seriously, state what you believe Trump is doing here and listen to yourself, and then realize why everyone is telling you this is just TDS. He's just funding the main tool he has to do something a majority of americans explicitely wants him to do, and which fuels his popularity.
pigeonburger
8d ago
Last I checked Trump doesn't distribute the belongings of deported illegals to ICE officers, so I don't know what parallel you see.
Where, despite becoming rich and famous, the mental software of many male celebrities remains incompletely updated when it comes to dealing with women, their toolkit remains lacking, and they can exhibit quite what many would call suboptimal behavior—including inertia, passivity, low standards, one-itis, and/or habit of strippers/prostitutes.
Or maybe sex with young models is just not their thing. By that I don't mean that they're gay or don't enjoy it, but even for the rich and famous there are opportunity costs. Most men with a pulse I know would enjoy driving an exotic sports car on a track or in an environment where they can let it loose. And most men with a pulse I know would enjoy sex with young nubile models (presumably who know what they're doing in the bedroom). But not every man who has the opportunity to decides to own and collect exotic sports car. Maybe they prefer to spend their leisure time (a scarce ressource that rich and powerful men don't necessarily have more of than the average joe) and money on travel, or on a yacht, or on going on safaris and hunting rare animals, etc... Some, I assume, will go for women, but I'm not surprised it's not all of them. It still requires time and effort of them and some risk, they still need to keep minimally in shape so that they're not so repulsive (while many women find wealth and power attractive, if you're so physically repulsive to her that it's obvious she's just holding her barf in for a payday, I think it'd put a lot of damper in most men's enjoyment of the act), they need to spend time hanging out in places where you meet young models.
They also need to be careful which young model they take to their hotel suite; falling prey to a gold-digger who casts a powerful "one-itis" spell on him like some witch is always a possibility, we're talking about women at the absolute peak of female power here, I'm not sure every man is immune. And sex involves vulnerability for rich men too, often of blackmail.
In that context, prostitutes are almost appropriate, kind of like renting an exotic sports car to ride at the track. The well-vetted high class ones will be discreet and won't be much as much risk. What looks like one-itis or low-standards, could very well just be a man deciding to settle with a woman that has higher value to him than to most others, a sensible choice as it ensures a better return for the ressources invested. Having a preference for traits most others see as a flaw is a blessing; it means less competition.
pigeonburger
12d ago
It's not that men can't cook, I can actually cook great (by standards of men my age, though my brother is actually much better). But I also don't take much care of myself and if there's no one I'm accountable to and for, I'll probably go for least effort solutions (fast food, or junk frozen meals).
pigeonburger
15d ago
Me I got diagnosed with an autoimmune disease after the vaccines and my wife had blood clots. For both we didn't even bother mentionning or ask doctors if there was any possible links with the vaccines, out of fear of being seen as "those kind of people", and doctors didn't inquire or propose it as possible reasons. Not saying either of us have had vaccine side effects, and there are plausible alternative explanations for both of us, but then again how do we know for sure it's not the vaccine? I wonder how many people have had side effects that were not being properly recorded because they knew that in blue environments it would code them as people to ignore and shun.
pigeonburger
20d ago
I'm glad Florida won it because I don't want any other canadian team to have won the Cup before our next one.
I don't think it's anywhere near a open and shut case that the vaccines stopped the pandemic, we don't have a counterfactual Earth to compare against, but as people got vaccinated we also saw the rise of less deadly variants. And of course, as more people still got infected they would build natural immunity. As for the prevalence of side effects, again we don't have much information to compare against, but the distinct impression I got from the public medical establishment during the pandemic is that if it were happening they would not have been honest about it because of how they took a mortage on their reputations to push the vaccines. There was no scientific curiosity, anyone trying to raise any alarms was not taken with even a slight grain of seriousness but immediately the public health establishments were looking for ways to discredit them. While that does not increase the trustworthiness of those making the claims, it does negatively affect the trustworthiness of those dismissing them without even looking at them.
Note, I'm not saying that the vaccines did nothing but caused deadly side effects, personally I think it probably had a mild effect in lowering the seriousness of infection for people who encountered COVID for the first time after the vaccine, and was probably generally safe and side effects no more prevalent or serious than other similar drugs, but I have no data either way that I would personally trust about this, so I wouldn't judge someone for coming to a different conclusion.
pigeonburger
22d ago
Personally, I've been hit by the thunderbolt before, but I think it's not an indicator of any kind of compatibility, but our biology's attempt at getting people who are failing to pair bond to reproduce regardless.
pigeonburger
23d ago
Tangent, but I always wondered if a big part of the persisting popular perception of Love at First Sight and True Soulmates and stuff like that is just couples/parents downplaying their struggles after the fact to strengthen their bond and/or to reassure their children. Maybe I'm an outlier, but for me attraction (in a romantic sense) was never a 0-to-100 flash of inspiration, it was always me gradually growing interested in a person as I learn about their life and language, not noticing it sinking in until at some point the realization hits out of left field.
Maybe some people really find someone where everything is effortless. Maybe those people also embody the work advice "if you love what you do you'll never work a day in your life". Maybe those people are lying to themselves, or maybe they aren't. I have to work at my career and I have to work at my marriage. I didn't make the maximum effort and maximum difficulty choices for both, but I'm not sure the unicorn effortless ones existed for either, at least for me.
pigeonburger
24d ago
It's just good PR. There's a lot of uninformed takes on AI out there. And there are some less uninformed takes that Big Tech would like to dispute. The Vatican has a large amount of influence on some people. Those people adopting the wrong opinions, from the perspective of Big Tech, could eventually trickle down into legislation, or at least into public attitudes. And as much as we would like to think PR should not be necessary, it's like lawyers; a world where it wasn't necessary to do PR would be sunshine and rainbows, but that's not the world we live in. If you don't do PR you're still going to be on the recieving of other people's PR (negative against you, or positive for them in cases where you are competing for scarce ressources like government investment or the public's discretionary spending).
I'll go the opposite the other commenters here. I'm started being in an international LD relationship about 6 years ago. I arranged for us to meet for a week within 6 months of starting the relationship. After that, COVID made meeting again difficult, but I arranged for her to come visit me for some months regardless. We were married before she went back home. She moved in permanently with me in 2023.
It's super basic bitch pop-psych but the most important thing to remember is that venting from a woman is not a prompt for you to fix an issue and absolutely not a prompt for you to try and dedramatise the issue. It's a prompt for you to say an "empty platitude" like "oh, that sucks, I hope things gets better". It's hard because your rational brain is telling you the issues can be fixed, or that she just needs a different perspective. Vast majority of the time, this is not helpful.
The empty platitudes might feel empty to you, but if you actually love her then they are not empty if you're saying them to help her feel better.
I'm led to believe it should come naturally if you truly capital-L Love someone?
Hahahaha! No. If I were to ask any man I know in a long-term straight relationship I will get the same lament; "it's like we're talking a different language". It's a miracle humanity managed to pair bond for so long. Marriage (and serious relationships that are indistinguishable from marriages) are hard, it's not a capital L Love issue; it's a two completely different human beings with different lives, histories and wildly different brain chemistry are trying to get on the same page to act as one. Both people need to learn to at least understand the other's language, and ideally talk it at least a bit.
pigeonburger
25d ago
See also, Trump literally said they weren't going to enforce it for farm and hotel labour.
That has been reversed now.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/immigration/2025/06/16/trump-farms-hotels-immigration-raids/
pigeonburger
25d ago
I've been in rooms full of serious mainstream journalists talking between colleagues about the crisises of their profession and there is no introspection happening. Their solution to the trust crisis is to debunk disinformation harder. There is no realisation that the rise of "disinformation" (of the "alternate perspective the journalist doesn't like", "someone made a mistake handling facts" and "random guy on the internet wrote outright falsehood" kinds) is purely an effect of their own actions.
pigeonburger
29d ago
Yeah, I imagine that's the bulk of what they do. And all the time spent shadowing the Chinese subs, US sonarmen get better at identifying them, and more sound from the particular screw on these boats' propeller gets recorded and then processed to help algorithms pick it up from noise.
I wouldn't be sure about either one of Russia and China. I can't find any indication it has changed since then, but it was late Soviet policy to operate its SSBNs from "bastions", highly guarded areas in friendly waters. The noisy environment this created made the comparatively less stealthy Soviet SSBNs stand out less than they would on their own. On their own, they would have an SSN shadowing them, ready to sink them within minutes of war being declared.
China's SSBNs are pretty crude designs for now, decades behind the west. Though of course, they iterate quickly and can be expected to catch up quite fast, assuming they're getting some help from Russia which is not as far behind the west. And that they have homegrown SSBNs at all is no small feat. But considering how noisy they are, they would not feel comfortable operating them outside of safe areas either, meaning they are believed to also operate on a "bastion" doctrine.
pigeonburger
29d ago
I think it's because it's the only governing body on the planet that is ideologically bound to engage in total warfare against an opponent that dominates it in every way, so that losing in ways that creates a PR nightmare for their opponent is the only possible victory they can get.
pigeonburger
29d ago
The work not being done until the wages raise to a level where workers are willing to do it is not a market distortion, it is the market working as intended.
Illegal immigrant workers are the market distortion; international borders (not market forces) that have very stark difference in cost of living on one side compared to the other create the incentives for people to go work for way below local market rates. Not that I'm arguing for open borders, but that is one situation where governments create bad incentives (by not having an open market with a poorer neighbors) for reasons that can be desirable for other reason than economic, and where it should also work to compensate for it (by policing illegal immigration properly to counter the incentives they've created).
pigeonburger
30d ago
People sometimes survive absolutely unbelievable stuff because bodies just happened be in just the right way. And sometimes they die because their body has a mild shock in a very unlucky way.
I have not watched John Wick 4, but that does sound like something Keanu Reeves would have asked to put in the movie, as a direct hommage to Zatoichi.
There was a discussion here recently about whether it was better to immerse yourself in the world of fiction or to be analytical of it. Personally, I think both are worthwhile, and the best works manage to give a good time to both modes of media consumption. Probably that inclusion was meant more for people who analyse the movie than those who want to believe in it.
I'll give you though that the John Wick movies have gotten steadily worse with each one, and I think it's for the simple reason that studio execs don't have restraint and cannot accept that perhaps sometimes you should not give what the public begs for.
The first movie's story was great because of how little they went into the assassin society stuff. It's there, but it's not the main thrust of the movie, it makes the movie feel richer by being hinted at. By the third movie, that's all there is left. Mystery is like spices in cooking. You put a bit of spices in your meal to make it taste better, you shouldn't just shovel spoonfuls of spices into your mouth. John Wick 2 was an overly spiced meal; still a meal, but they should have cut down on the spices. John Wick 3 was like shoveling spoonfuls of spices.
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