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I used to value equality in the same way as you do, but I changed my worldview. I think that genders are equal like how Ying and Yang are equal, which is equal in value but different. I'm extremely good at generalizing and jumping on the abstraction-ladder, but I no longer believe that one can solve the problems of the world by abstracting details away. The details are as important as the general.
If you make a strategy guide for a game with 4 classes, then a guide for any class seems like it would necessarily be worse than a specific guide for said class. Unless the guide contains branches like "if warrior, elseif mage, elseif.. " so that it deals with these details. If you disallow knowledge of these details I think you end up with a worse guide with mathematical certainty.
I used to go for general correctness, thinking that specific correctness was a kind of overfitting. What ended up happening instead is that I removed any advantage I had from knowledge of the specifics. This reduces everything to the lowest common denominator. In terms of the coast-line paradox, I limited my level of detail thinking that this was "better". You are free to think however you want, I just hope that you won't put yourself at a disadvantage in life as I did. General rules never seem to perform better than context-aware judgement in every specific moment. The legal system requires general rules, but in our own personal lives, we're not bound by such restrictions. If your system is a suggestion for the country, and not a personal morality that you follow as a kind of categorical imperative, then I've possibly misunderstood you.
I very much meant it as a system for a country. In my personal life, I try to maintain some minimum standard of decency regardless of the gender, race and personality of the person I interact with, but do not delude myself into thinking I treat everyone the same. Like, people would totally get a bonus to their dice roll to interact with me if I find them attractive or share their interests.
If I had to decide on prison sentences for defendants, I would have to work hard on counteracting such biases, because everyone should get a fair trial. By contrast, everyone is not entitled to a fair portion of my attention.
I am fine with any particular person (including myself) being into men or women or being dom or sub and whatever, and also fine with their being statistical correlations between all of these things within broader society.
I do not want society to try to put their fingers on the scale to enforce equality of outcomes. Prescribing that 50% of heterosexual divorces should end up with the father being the primary guardian of the kids sounds abhorrent to me. If 80% of divorcee kids stay with their mothers because women are willing to commit to making greater concessions to raising their kids on average that would be an outcome I am fine with. But if the same 80% are reached because the law systematically favors women instead that would seem wrong to me.
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