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I would say not charisma, but being a decent human being. That includes a sense of civic and personal responsibility, self-esteem (not in the "I'm great just as I am" sense but in "I'm a human being and I should live like one, not a wild dog" sense), and being willing to keep the rules and work hard.
A 90 IQ person who is naked and screaming out of their mind on drugs in the public streets is much more visible, and much more of a problem, than the 90 IQ guy who gets up every morning and washes his face and goes to work sweeping the streets. Telling the 90 IQ people that "you can't help it, poor darling, so go ahead and smash car windows to steal stuff to sell for your habit, and be loud and violent and aggressive in public" is a hell of a lot worse for them, for us, for everyone.
Telling 100 IQ people the same thing is just as bad. Switching up the laws so they can steal up to $950 and it's a misdemeanour, and then you don't even bother prosecuting misdemeanours, because of the systemic racist incarceration injustice of the past and present, is even worse for everyone - it hurts the people trying to live respectable lives in that community as well as people outside it. Yes, you should have expectations for Jamal and Cletus and Jose to be respectable citizens, not pass them out of school even if they've never learned anything, then tell them if they don't get into Harvard this is discrimination and that means they can do what they want since that's 'your culture'.
The Irish long had a reputation as ignorant, drunken, violent idiots. The Catholic Church gets a lot of stick for trying to play Victorian respectability games and impose a moral agenda on the country, but it would have been ten times worse if we had been permitted, caressed, and encouraged by American and British middle class to upper class liberals that "Poor dears, you can't help yourselves, this is your culture, go ahead and live like that, don't even bother 'acting Anglo' by trying to get sober, get a job, and not fight in the streets".
Sure, I agree with all the points you make. That's how it should work. But the dynamic we've (unfortunately) evolved into is a very unhealthy, unrealistic one that works like so: Americans who are not white males or asian males are actively being held back by those in power. There is a glass ceiling put in place via systemic discrimination, and this ceiling is the only thing preventing black men, hispanic men, white women, etc. from making exactly as much money and holding exactly as much power (as a group) as white men and asian men. As the actual, genuine glass ceilings that limit these so-called marginalized groups continue to disappear, this ideology loses its ground and becomes axiomatic: The glass ceilings are disappearing, yet marginalized groups still underperform, which is proof they're being systemically oppressed because all groups are equal. It actually means the racism and sexism must be even worse than we expected, because all those barriers were removed and yet these groups are still underperforming. This is the source of all the systemic racism stuff, it's like dark matter -- it must exist somewhere or the theory falls apart.
Equality of birth is one massive concession, man. We have conceded so, so much to these people and they still aren't happy. Imagine what happens if we say screw it and affirm HBD: total chaos. No, that's never going to happen. What might happen is something suggested up-thread; something like reparations based on HBD, where we start handing out cash to "marginalized groups" on the basis of their assumed oppression, but really it functions as a "sorry you're not smart enough for the white collar world" type thing.
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