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Wellness Wednesday for March 20, 2024

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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It may or may not be your fault, but it sounds like the feedback from your manager and coworkers is fairly negative. From your employer's perspective, it probably doesn't matter much whether it's your "fault" or not.

At the very least this is a misalignment in terms of the role and expectations, and/or a bad cultural fit—or perhaps, they're just awful and shitty colleagues, and you should find a way out. To me, personally, your manager and coworkers come across as snakes.

It wouldn't be the end of the world, but I would advise against quitting without something firm lined-up. Jobs are like women; it's always easier to get another one if you have one already. Recruiters don't want a candidate who isn't wanted by other recruiters.

You have to do what's best for your mental health, though. If you have to quit for your own mental sanity, so be it. But maybe you can tough it out for a while at the job. You can always quietly coast/quit while searching for the next venture on your current company's dime, which would better position you financially and professionally. If you get officially put on a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP): treat it as a Paid Interview Process, as the saying goes. You could also use that as a springboard for negotiating a separation agreement.