The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
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I cannot do for stated reasons.
If Bob messes up, I potentially pay a lot for it in the form of work-life balance or reputation (even if it's Bob's fault, my name may still be attached to the mess-up).
Grass is always greener and I love my job. It seems the world is full of Charlies and Bobs. I wonder how the frequency changes based on size, prestige, etc.
I think this is the only option based on everything I've tried over the past year. Any advice here?
Stoicism is the virtue here I think, though I am not sure I can give you much advice, as it comes naturally to me. If all other options you can consider are off the table then Bob is simply a fact of life. There is no point worrying or getting annoyed at this, for it simply is. Just like there is no point in getting annoyed at gravity. Put in place whatever workarounds you need for your own work (which it seems you already have) then let go of Bob. He is simply not your problem.
Does it make you have to work harder? Yes but so does Earth's gravity being stronger than Mars. If you can't change it, then it is just part of the structure of your working life as immutable as gravity, technical debt and sales people overselling.
The darker option is to gently raise the subject with your other colleagues and if you trust them conspire to tell Charlie things about Bob where he must override his conflict averseness. He steals, he gropes women, he called Charlie a mealy mouthed useless piece of shit. You get the idea. Truth is irrelevant when we are trying to bypass an obstruction. From your description however it seems unlikely this is worth the risk as you are otherwise happy in your position.
There will always be Charlie's and Bob's, the main thing you can do is control how you feel about them.
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