The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
I'm not especially high-status. I was the worst distance runner to qualify for a letter in track. The only reason I ever made sergeant in the military is because they promoted over half of all eligible E-4s. The main reason I'm a board member of a neighborhood organization is because the person stepping away had new familial obligations to attend to - and she hadn't lived in the area for years anyway.
I got to where I am by being present at the right place at the right time with an agreeable temperament - with a handy dose of preparation & persistence. If I thought like you did, I doubt I would have achieved what I've earned.
I wouldn't call small-talk interesting. But it's the quickest route to learn if people care about things - and what. It's okay to not be interested in what they care about. It's a social barrier to be proudly ignorant of what they care about. It's entirely possible to get intellectual about the history & patterns of one's relationships. You don't need to know about Georgian taxes or bell curves to have intellectual conversations. Most of the time - in my experience - that shit doesn't help anyway.
And conversation is also a two-way street. They need to know who you are, too. Is the other person likely to walk away with a good sense of who you are & what you're about?
As long as you can find a reason to follow up via email or text message the next day, I call that a conversational success. Just keep recalibrating until you find reasons at least half the time.
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