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Notes -
It would be helpful for this discussion to provide a strict definition of "gender war" first (or at least try to).
In my personal worldview, "gender war" is not really its own thing. The observations you make seem to be more a consequence downstream of the general atomisation of society caused by modernity. The bond between man and woman seems like one of the final units to split up in this process of increasing entropy, largely enabled by technology (contraceptives, service economy).
To speak of a "gender war" means moving largely into the frame of neo-marxism (see your point #2), where one always needs groups/classes to pit against each other to provide a worldview. E.g. in my country, leftists speak of "femicide", when a woman gets killed by her male partner. This wording implies that its somehow "all the men's fault".
The topic is interesting, because IMHO personal relationships (or lack thereof) are a strong entry point to persuade individuals more on the left of the need for some kind of narrative bonding modern people together and somehow working to reverse the ever increasing entropy of society.
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