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Notes -
I have a strange fascination with the supernatural having always been attracted to the Occult, the Mystic, the Otherworldly, the Numinous while not believing any of the claims.
The supernatural has been instead a great inspiration in the pursue of my more "rational" passions. I remember being in second grade, having finished Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, and wanting to study Potions. That brought me to the discovery that there was a thing called Chemistry which seemed suspiciously similar to Potions. What other "mystical" arts existed in the world? Ironically then, my passion for Magic fomented my passion for Science: if Potions are Chemistry than Transfiguration is Material Science? If Astrology is Astrophysics then Numerology is Math? The study of spells? Language learning. The study of the obscure forces of the Universe? Physics.
Ages ago while reading lesswrong I tried to get rid of these fascinations and in my opinion it made my life more miser: the "irrational" part was actually an important part of how I process the world, and seeing myself as a Mage was actually more in line with my natural proclivities (and more fun).
Even now, while still not being a believer, I cannot shake that there is something out there: in fact, the more I study the astrophysics of the early Universe the more fucked up it all seems; but that's probably the strange architecture of my brain. It is a sort of fascination similar to wanting to peek down while standing near a precipice, or even wanting to jump, wanting to scratch the surface and discover all this secret dangerous "knowledge".
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