The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
If it helps, you can try reframing things mentally as you being a step up from the previous losers when she realized her worth/understood that they weren't good enough for her. Which might well be true, I knew plenty of women who were with boyfriends who seemed frankly subpar, and I even loved some of them (the girls, not the boyfriends).
I have the same thing in reverse (not that I experience the same degree of mental suffering, more mental groaning) when I learn about the kinds of guys my ex (amicably separated for unavoidable reasons) dated/slept with after me. 40 yo divorcees, 35 yo men who suddenly asked if she was OK with an open relationship, broke-ass starving artists. But that's more from concern about her wellbeing and future happiness, and only slightly because it makes me feel like she lacked standards when we were together (she was actually rather picky and turned down loads of guys, including my best friend at the time). It did, however, convince me that women do have a harder time than you might naively think finding decent dates or longterm prospects even after dating apps offer an endless cock buffet. I would be much happier for her if she found a decent guy to settle down with, though I can't really offer myself. Even if it couldn't work out in the long run, she deserves better.
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