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PaperclipPerfector  10mo ago (text post)   2551 thread views

Wellness Wednesday for January 10, 2024

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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What is ego but your perception of your status? Oxford Dictionary: Ego: a person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance. Self Esteem: confidence in one's own worth or abilities. Self Importance: an exaggerated sense of one's own value or importance.

I think your response to 2rafa clearly shows it is a status thing, but it may be best to drop the status framing even if it is accurate because a lot of people lose the ability to cooperate when thinking directly about status. They can only see villains maneuvering and thus act that part. WalterODim and FiveHourMarathon have some great advice in my opinion, so if my model of relationships grinds with you I'd recommend trying out theirs.

Ego is your importance in your own eyes, status your importance in others'. Very closely related, but in this case importantly different; e.g. to successfully "realize that nobody else is going to know about her past" would solve status-based anxieties but not ego-based ones.

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