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Notes -
A year and a half ago Scott wrote an ACX post about why his writing had changed from the way it was 2013–2016, and it prompted me to think about the kinds of pieces I would rather read from wizened psychiatrist Scott rather than young buck Scott. One of these is his current thoughts on shared environment and the effects of parenting. Another is the state of social science research on spanking; that would give him a chance to apply his thoughts on shared environment, and it’s culture-war-adjacent enough to examine the effects of bias but outside the current focus of the culture war.
Aella’s descriptions of her own childhood make for somber but thought-provoking reading. As an evangelical Christian, though not a parent, I wonder what went wrong to produce the kind of abuse she went through. One possibility: maybe evangelical parenting advice is particularly difficult for parents on the autism spectrum to apply. Aella has described herself and her father (but not her mother) as on the spectrum. Evangelical advice focuses pretty heavily on responding to the child’s heart and will. Young children especially wear their hearts on their sleeves, but if you struggle to notice emotional cues you may miss the point where you have been severe enough to discipline effectively and you may see obstinance where there is none.
It’s also interesting that, in spite of all that, Aella writes positively about her homeschooling experiences and negatively about her brief time in public school.
I hope he does revisit this. Now that he has children of his own, something along these lines might be on his mind. He wrote very negatively about his own experiences attending a fairly good public high school. I wonder what alternatives he would consider if his own children experience something similar.
I've spent a lot of time in conservative Christian homeschooling circles, and encountered families similar to Aella's, though it didn't necessarily come out until years or even decades later, and some I haven't kept in touch, so I still don't know how things really were. It seems like there are families who fall into a feedback loop of thinking they should be the Best, Most Righteous family, so they decide to adopt some disabled children from another country and homeschool them, despite not really having the right personality for this, and then get super worked up when the children turn out to not also be the best and most grateful, who will know how much personal space they need and when, despite so much expense, effort and sacrifice. Or they go become missionaries in Africa and bring their families, then get super worked up about their wife (who is on malaria medication while homeschooling multiple small children) not being the Best and Shiniest. St John in Jane Eyre somewhat captures this. Very intense, very smart, rather interesting -- much too intense to have small children around all day every day. The homeschooling part probably goes better when the father is the more intense parent, ad the mother is going along with it out of belief.
Large public schools do seem like pretty awful places for children with autism as well -- very loud all the time, bright artificial lights, no privacy, very few choices, very strict schedules, lots of transitions through bright, loud hallways every day. I can see how she wouldn't like that either.
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