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Notes -
I think the script component is also immensely valuable. I’m increasingly convinced there is no “authentic” interaction except perhaps among those closest to us.
In general we can either have a script or we can track everyone’s status to know how to act as you allude to above. Interestingly I think that’s one lens to use for the identity fixation phenomenon. It seems to me something like that is unavoidable if we decide to throw out scripts and be “authentic.”
I remember my first time abroad alone in college for the summer. I was groggy from the flight and found myself eating a home cooked meal at my host’s house with his wife and I realized I had no idea what to do or how to behave!
Fortunately I had a script I could use. What I thought was irrelevant—say thank you for the meal, eat a sizable amount to show appreciation, offer to help clean up, etc.
What a relief to not have to re-derive from our relative statuses what to do so as to not give offense.
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