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PaperclipPerfector  1yr ago (text post)   2823 thread views

Wellness Wednesday for November 22, 2023

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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My real problem, I think, is that I don't have as much patience for others as I used to, because I feel on edge all the time.

I feel the same way. I have somewhat alleviated this by being more intentional about the environments/situations I put myself in. In things like men's circle, book clubs, and mental health support groups I have much more patience for people. It is probably due to some combination of me finding the discussions interesting, people being more open-minded, and/or being in situations where people can talk about more vulnerable things.

I guess you could dig deeper into what you like and dislike about certain environments, but I mostly rely on intuition. If I lose patience with people I'll just disengage with that specific environment and spend more time in one I like.

In an earlier attempt at therapy, the only actual unit of value was the advice to use deep, slow breathing as a quick antidote to anxiety (something something parasympathetic nervous system)

That technique, along with the parasympathetic nervous system, is explained in much greater detail here: https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/QnZRvud7fXfpdxBY3/againstness

I do think some level of fatherly Jordan-Peterson-style, "get yourself together, man, make something of yourself, you're better than this!" would be incredibly helpful and motivating.

Sometimes people need information on what they need to do. They need to look at their problems from an outsider's perspective to gain insight. However, once they have the necessary information then sometimes they need an outsider to provide motivation/accountability in order to follow through on something (for example: they know they need to eat healthier). If you need help following through on something there are other ways to get that without therapy.

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