site banner

Small-Scale Question Sunday for November 19, 2023

Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?

This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.

Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.

4
Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

I do agree that the narratives you wrote are believable and realistic ones, certainly compared to the one where Alice is just given a choice between Bob and Charles, which is more akin to a romantic comedy or dating show than an actual real experience of a typical woman. And yet, I believe the revealed preference matters a lot here, because women, like all people, have a choice in terms of what kind of person to pursue for a long term relationship. Alice's choice to value Bob's charm and good looks and not check for signs of what kind of happiness or misery a long-term relationship would provide her - or perhaps to check but to discount - tells us something about how much she values happiness and (lack of) misery in a long-term relationship. Of course, people can't be expected to think in reasonable long-term horizons in the realm of romance, especially if heightened hormones are involved, but then I'd characterize that lack of foresight as part of their preference.

Ironically, I would wager that after Alice & wife-beating Bob have been married for a while, and if God came down and gave Alice the choice to rewind time and live what life would have been with Charles (let's say He also shows her what Charles was like to Diane, i.e. decent), in most cases, she would choose to switch. I don't think this really tells us much about her preference or what she would rather have, though, since these things don't exist only in thought experiments. At best, I think it would tell us that Alice would prefer to (or wishes to or sees herself as) be the type of person who prefers Charles, not that she is someone who prefers Charles.