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I always feel like an broken record saying this, but this entirely depends on what one means by 'patriarchy'. It's a word that's been used, misused and abused to death. Based on what else you said, I understand what you said to mean that 'patriarchy' as the feminists describe has always existed, feminists merely created the descriptive theory (that is, merely described what already existed). Although this is undercut by 'the concept of patriarchy is not unique to feminism', which is true in the strict sense, but the feminist theory of patriarchy, which is what you are describing, is unique to feminism.
The term 'patriarchy' to describe social structures was first used by Max Weber in his posthumously published The Theory of Social and Economic Organization (1947), in which he provides an extremely narrow definition of patriarchy, basically describing a system of household organisation and inheritance - almost a synonym for 'patrilineal'. This was purely descriptive, and contains none of the connotations and normative judgements implicit in the feminist definition. The term 'patriarchy' specifically was introduced into the feminist lexicon by Kate Millet in Sexual Politics in 1970, though the general idea if not in name existed in feminism before then.
I disagree with you when you say "feminism did not create the concept of patriarchal societies", because the feminist conception of patriarchy does not and did not exist, and is purely a product of feminist historical revisionism (that is, a myth) constructed to support their political project. To be specific, I am referring to the feminist understanding of the relationship of the sexes as being one of where men oppress women. In other words, that "the history of mankind is a history of repeated injuries and usurpation on the part of man toward woman." I have written extensively about this in the past on the old subreddit and elsewhere, but just to highlight two really quite prominent examples of this myth-making:
We have known for quite a long time that there is gender parity in domestic violence (and rape too for that matter) but this has been suppressed in large part by feminist activism and feminist theory. Many historical claims about domestic violence similarly turn out to myths, for example the oft repeated claim that men used to be able to beat their wives with impunity is a myth, and appears to originate William Blackstone's 18th Century Commentaries on the Laws of England in which he claims (via a unspecified colleague as a source) that men used to be able to do just that - before adding that this had changed under the enlightened reign of Charles II, obviously having a political motivation to describe the pre-Restoration era (and thus Cromwell's rule) as savage and barbarous compared to the present. Decrying how your outgroup treats women poorly to make them look bad and yourself good is a tactic as old as time.
The issue of women's suffrage is far more complicated than as present by feminists or 'common knowledge' generally. It was never an issue of men against women, or men oppressing women. In fact, for much of the history of the suffragette movement, men were actually more progressive on the issue than women themselves were, and the anti-suffragette movement was led by women and was far more popular than the suffragette movement until well into the 20th century. The early suffragettes hilariously often stated that they didn't want women to vote on the issue of their own suffrage for this very reason. The anti-suffragettes had some interesting arguments, and far stronger than the strawmen arguments they are often presented as having. To summarise their arguments extremely briefly (the link provides more detail), they saw their role (as women) in society as unique, distinct and different to that of men, but their role was no less important, influential or yes, powerful as that of men.
The issue of women's suffrage in some sense encapsulates the issue with historical judgements about the relationship between men and women history. The playbook is something like: identify something that we highly value in our present society and ideology (the right to vote), compare the historical society to our present society in this regard (women didn't have the right to vote), then condemn the historical society for failing to live up to our modern morals and sensibilities (women couldn't vote because men were oppressing women - evil). There is very little attempt to address the past on its own terms, that there might be practical and understandable, if not good, reasons for the way the things operated in the past. This is particularly true of the sexes. Women have never been oppressed en masse as described in feminist patriarchy theory. Men and women simply valued different things in the past and had different roles - maleness was highly valued in male roles, and femaleness was highly valued in female roles, one was not necessarily better than the other. The history of the sexes has always been primarily one of cooperation and yes, affection. This obviously comes with the caveat that yes, you can find specific instances of where both women and men have suffered injustices, but this not part of a universal and timeless 'patriarchy'.
Well, again, I see that as descriptive, rather than definitional. The basic argument of feminism is that the cultures and structures which have been traditionally been seen as normal are actually oppressive.
But, again, these are normative arguments, not definitional. You and feminists seem to agree on what gender norms and structures existed in the past, but you disagree re whether they were oppressive
The feminist definition of patriarchy includes oppression as a core part of it. Patriarchy isn't just 'more men in political office', it's a society of, for and by men that oppresses women (for the record, the feminist view is that 'more men in political office' necessarily results in the oppression of women).
I disagree with the feminists quite a lot with what gender norms and structures exist in the past. The feminist says that the female role was one of submission that had no power. I say no, the female role actually did have wield significant power and influence, and their own form of status.
Again, I believe that the claim is that patriarchal structures are inherently oppressive, not that oppression is part of the definition. That was the core contribution of feminism: "Hey, you know this structure you social scientists have been talking about forever. Here is something you have not realized before: It is terribly flawed."
As I said in another thread, the most robust concise definition I've seen is from Sylvia Walby in Theorising Patriarchy (1989): "a series of social structures, and practices in which men dominate, oppress and exploit women."
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